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The-Hellish-Gnome
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Reviews
Hot Fuzz (2007)
Sizzling Hot
I entered the cinema to see "Hot Fuzz" with fairly average expectations. Although having adored Simon Pegg's and Nick Frost's "rom-zom-com", "Shaun of the Dead" the trailer for "Hot Fuzz" did not seem as original and fresh and their first full length film together. However I left the cinema with my jaw muscles literally aching with laughter.
For me, "Hot Fuzz" was far better than "Shaun of the Dead" in almost every way. An almost perfect mixture of witty one liners, slapstick genius, action and drama filled the 2 hours and 1 minute with almost no lag at all. Personally, as a country lad, it was the host of golden minor character standing in as the villagers of Stanford that had my sides nearly splitting with mirth. I can honestly recommend no better satire of the mundane but ludicrous aspects of country life. However don't be put off by this if you are towns dweller as the action spoofs and instantly quotable one-liner make this film nearly universally enjoyable as long are you are not too put off by some levels of swearing or gore.
The only possible flaw to the film was that after having some hilarious lines delivered by Pegg in "Shaun of the Dead" we have to adjust to him being the "sensible one" amidst the absurdity. Although this is slightly regrettable it gives his sidekick Frost a real chance to shine as a comic actor and his portrayal of Danny far surpasses his role in "Shaun of the Dead" in comedy and in lovability.
In conclusion, "Hot Fuzz" provides comedy on so many levels it's very hard not to enjoy it no matter what your taste in humour. Although it is likely people will funny very different bits funny depending on upbringing or culture it is hard to deny that it IS very, very funny. You will leave the cinema with hurting sides and on an action-induced high.
Hauru no ugoku shiro (2004)
Different from the book, but in a good way
Although I haven't seen all his films, I consider myself to be a fan of Hayao Miyazaki. Unlike other Japanese anime directors he doesn't get weighed down in pointless fights and explosions (which the exception of his early film, "Nausicaä of the Valley of the Winds"). When watching his films you get a feeling of beauty in the artwork that can't be experienced through any other genre of animated films. "Howl's Moving Castle" is no exception.
Like a lot of Hayao Miyazaki's films, "Howl's Moving Castle" is lacking somewhat in plot and it is this aspect of his films which causes much distaste among a great deal of Westerners. You can see where they're coming from, things are slow moving, confusing and rarely explained but that's what gives the film its sense of secrecy and mystery. Its sense of magic.
The characters are arguably the best yet providing a believable and indefinable approach to them. They can also be side-splitting; I found myself laughing far more in this film than in any Disney production. Also, as is often a trait with his films, Miyazaki does not create an obvious "baddie" but provides us with real characters to whom you can relate to, even if you don't agree with their cause.
Hayao Miyazaki is at the top of his game. No where else will you find such love and devotion dedicated to all of his films and there is no better film than "Howl's Moving Castle" to illustrate that. Some complain about its differences to the book it's based on by Diana Wynne Jones, and yes, it IS very different, but that was the intention. She was recorded to say in an interview: "It's fantastic. No, I have no inputI write books, not films. Yes it will be different from the bookin fact it's likely to be very different, but that's as it should be. It will still be a fantastic film." I couldn't agree more.
The Da Vinci Code (2006)
Uninspired drivel
I'm going to be brutally honest here; I never liked the book "The Da Vinci Code". It was not the absurd plot or its brazen slurring of religious faith that caught my distaste, as many similar trashy novels have been produced and I have enjoyed them. None of them are especially thought provoking but they provided mild entertainment on long train journeys. However, Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" I disliked mainly because of diabolical rhetorical and linguistic techniques employed by the author. The characters were utterly flat and impossible to care about, in particular the appalling "British" upper-class stereotype of Sir Leigh Teabing whose dialogue consists of several "I say"s plenty of "Old chap"s and even one "Tally-ho!" Like so many American writers and actors he bases his entire knowledge of British accents on "Mary Poppins" and "Jeeves and Wooster" oblivious to the fact that British people have not spoken like this for one hundred years.
You may wonder why I have chosen to disclose my opinions on the book when IMDb is a film website, and the reason is that I find in order to build up an honest review of the film you must first understand my outlook towards the book. You might think that my distaste of the book meant I entered the cinema with a closed mind, hating it before I had even seen it; however that is not the case. After all, I have already mentioned that it was not the plot or the anti-religious sentiment which I disliked but merely the way it was written. In fact when reading it I kept thinking that it would work far better as a film, providing the script and actors were up to scratch. After learning from the early previews that Tom Hanks, Sir Ian McKellen and Jean Reno were to be in the film I entered the cinema with high hopes as to the success of the film. I was certainly expecting an entertaining film; perhaps even a *good* film. Unfortunately this was not the case
The word which springs to mind when watching this film is "uninspired". Every aspect of the film reeks of "dull" and I spent a great deal of my time watching it checking my watch struggling to keep awake. Aside from the self-flagellation scene performed by Paul Bettany, not a single scene for the film had me on the edge of my seat, for the most of the film I was as far into my seat as it was possible to get.
The script is almost straight from the book, which is not necessarily a bad thing as I have already said, I thought the book could have worked in film format, however when the script is said through actors who just look *bored* it contributes to the bland feel of the film. Tom Hanks' performance is beyond disappointing, having loved his acting in "The Terminal" and "Forrest Gump" he gives us 149 minutes of yawns. Of course, not all blame can be placed on him as Dan Brown's character of Robert Langdon was such an empty shell in the first place it would have taken a god among actors to fill it. That brings me on to the only redeeming feature of the film: Ian McKellen. I have already mentioned the dreadful stereotype of Sir Leigh Teabing which Dan Brown offers as a "character" so for an actor to take that and turn it into someone with a believable, and identifiable personality is utterly incredible acting feat.
Many did not like this film (and the book) because of the daft plot and the anti-religious sentiment, but those two aspects have never stopped a film being dismal before. Films like "Raiders of the Lost Ark" are still enjoyable even with the two factors stated above. The reason *I* didn't like the book and the film was because of the soulless, characterless piece presented. I was hoping for an improvement over the book, sadly I was wrong.
House of the Dead (2003)
Dire beyond all belief
You know that feeling of hilarity you get when you watch a film that's trying so hard to be a serious, thought provoking piece of cinema and fails miserably? When you can't help but bust out laughing at the sheer terrible nature of the trash littering your screen? "House of the Dead" struggles to achieve even this low graded level of cinema.
From start to end "House of the Dead" manages to recreate the feeling like you've just woken up to find out that the cat has laid it's curled business neatly on your forehead while you slept. It is clear from the start that the female actors have been cast for their cleavage size (which they exploit shamelessly) whereas the males for their hardcore "kick-ass" attitude. I honestly did not care any of the characters for any moment of the film and found myself actually wishing their demise so as to spare me a good hour of this torture. Uwe Boll should have considered screening two hours of footage from the actual game as a movie. At least then we'll get better acting
However not all blame can be placed on the actors as it is certainly a challenge to produce a convincing film when faced with the script of this film. It is arguably the worst section of the film and actually contains such lines as: "These are zombies, pure and simple" and "No cap'n, we must not go there! It's evil!".
We all know that Zombie movies are never going to be particularly thought provoking or full of meaning; at best they are a harmless two hours of action, blood and closet terror. Trash, yes, but entertaining trash. Not the kind of trash which bursts out of your bin bag as you haul it across the room and smothers your shoes in sour milk cartons and decaying banana skins. According to IMDb, "House of the Dead" received such bad reviews that no Danish cinemas bought the movie. If only we could have had the same privilege.
Final Score: 1/10.