Reviews

*SPOILERS* (or, maybe some partial "hints"). I'm sorry, but ... almost no action, no way these 20-ish year old "kids" would ever really be friends (absolutely ZERO chemistry), and a Vincent Regan performance TOTALLY wasted ?!? I would NEVER begrudge an actor a paycheck (hey, we all gotta work) but, I hope it was a good one, because this script STUNK!

I woulda thought that, by now, someone could've come up with a fresh spin on this story. But no ... this movie was the Tom Cruise version ... minus Tom, blood, or special effects (tho, I DID sorta like the new way humans were pulverized).

Do yourself a favor ... take a nap, or watch paint dry instead! If you really want a War of the World fix, watch Gene Barry or Tom Cruise! Trust me.

This is a ridiculous episode of "Buffy". No way, after all this time, would the slayer think she made such a horrendous mistake ... especially with all the supernatural junk flying around while she was fighting for her life with a bunch of demons. OH, and ... it's another episode of Dawn flat out busting Buffy's chops again (like a 15/16 year old wouldn't understand that her big sis HAS to work, to keep her from being placed in foster care)!!! Hello (knocking on Dawn's head), do U not realize that the state will come in and get U in a heartbeat, if they think U are not getting the proper care ?!?

*SPOILERS(maybe)* I was very bored on a Sunday afternoon, so I saw the "trailer" for this Guy Pearce film, and thought I'd give it a whirl. Unlike all the other terrible reviews, this movie was exactly what I thought it'd be. Kinda like Arnold in "The Last Stand", this one had Pearce as a kinda "down-on-his-luck" Texas Ranger, who was shipped off to "lame-duck Texas" after a kinda accidental shooting, in the line of duty. Long story short ... motorcycle gang has been "casing" the town, and decide to rob a few places. Because of said "accidental shooting", Pearce no longer carries his pistol on duty (Andy of Mayberry) and this causes some minor problems, even tho sheriff comes around kinda quickly and starts using several different kinds of weapons. I won't tell the ending, but it was what I expected, and I enjoyed it. If you have nothing else to do, give this movie a look see ... it is NOT as bad as a lot of the reviews are letting on.

P.S. Folks, actors DO sometimes take a movie JUST FOR THE PAYCHECK! I do not fault them for that.

*A SMALL SPOILER OR TWO* This movie is set up to be a female "Rambo", or even a "I Spit on Your Grave" remake. But, it falls terribly short. There are a couple of real good scenes that actually make ya think this may turn into a good movie ... but, just as soon as U see them, they are gone and the film jumps back into "sorry, lady ... not a chance" territory! The ONLY reason I would recommend this movie is because I DO believe we are gonna see some big things from Dexter-Jones, in the very near future. Otherwise, DO NOT waste your time on this mess!

I mean, this die-hard detective that will go to great lengths to apprehend bad guys and help good guys ... just sorta gives up at the end? The show built him up all thru the first season, *SPOILER* only to have him quit when his mentor is tragically killed. But, I will make a suggestion for ALL these shows/dramas ... please have them handle more cases !!! Stop dedicating whole seasons to only one case!

*1 possibly TINY spoiler* I don't really understand all the "1" ratings, but ... I DO admit it was far from a "10". Everyone keeps asking "why did Willis and Grillo do this movie?". It's called "a paycheck"! Every actor at some point in their careers, find themselves needing to pay some bills. That is the only reason I can see for these 2 actors making this movie (even tho ... I do not think it was anywhere near as bad as most folks). It DID need a little more "fleshing out", to give us a little better of an idea of what made everyone tick. Long story short ... (with a very small kind of *spoiler* HERE) ............... the only thing I saw missing was when Grillo was trying to figure out what made the bad guy tick/who he was, I fully expected him (Grillo) to stumble over a soda pop can, in that warehouse. Otherwise, I gave this movie a 7 because I normally grade higher than everyone else. I gave it a 5 for story, 6 for acting, and a 7 for lead flying and a couple of things happening that I didn't expect in a movie like this (one of those "things" being ... I fully expected for a certain supposed "good guy" to end up being a "bad guy", which didn't happen ... AND, I did not expect one person, in particular, to get killed). Otherwise, I can think of worse ways to spend 80 insomniac minutes, on a bad night! I have seen much worse movies ... and, I have seen much better. So, if you've got NOTHING else to do, give it a look see. If you do not agree with me, then you can join the "1 star outta 10" crowd. If you do agree with me, you can give it a 5, 6, or 7 star rating.

*could be a couple of minor spoilers* This is really a great movie with just a few unreal things about it. Number one ... a very small guy like Horowitz would never get by with "smart-mouthing" someone like Viking continually, as he does in this movie. Also, when he dumps the whole tray of "spinach" (or whatever) over the head of Viking, Viking would have CRUSHED Horowitz! Second ... once Mick was "IT", he would've never allowed cigarette boys to continue in their jobs ... especially since they took every opportunity to show him that they were against him all the way. He would've given the "supplies-selling" job to someone less likely to try and rip him off. Penn and Gurry were pretty good in this movie. I am still wondering why Gurry gave up acting ... he seemed to be hitting his stride. If you get a chance, check this movie out. I put it right up there with Penn's best, such as "At Close Range" and "The Gunman".

*spoilers ... maybe* One thing I really do not understand is ... all these reviewers complaining about remakes and "stealing" ideas for sequels. If you are gonna make a new "zombie" movie, then you HAVE TO steal the idea! There is only so far you can go with the "zombie" idea. This movie DOES have a good idea ... 4 or 5 years after original outbreak, a group of soldiers and researchers, on a supply run, find a zombie that has "survived" and who can actually (sorta) communicate. This zombie is a guy who tried to rape the head researcher, and somehow, he can now smell her ... and he wants to finish what he started several years before. The head researcher believes she can make a vaccine using the blood of the (attempted) rapist. Okay ... yes, zombie gets loose inside the bunker. Yes, while trying to get a few more "test subject" zombies, the crowd busts thru the bunker gate. Yes, many are killed! No, this is not a movie to plan "movie night" at the house, around. But, if you have nothing else to do ... and, if you are like me ... and like pretty much anything zombie-ish ... then, give this one a look-see. I think the only "real" actor in this one, is Schaech (all the other "actors" must have been family members)! This one has plenty of blood and gore, and even a couple of odd love stories. I'll let you watch and see how it all pans out. I gave it a "7", but I could've just as well given it a "5" ... I just don't see it as a "1", like a boat-load of other reviewers! But, to each his own.

*Spoilers (maybe a small one here or there, tho ... not much here to spoil)* This really was a waste of time. Married couple heads into the country to try and patch up and save their marriage. Everything goes fine until the idiot "married guy" catches what kinda looks like a severed arm (while fishing). The "catch" has some kind of "appendage" that it reveals, and dumb-a** married guy decides to grab the "appendage" (which, naturally ... bites, or "sticks", or does something to his hand). This leads to guy slowly turning into a reincarnation of the "swamp-thing" ... well, sort of. Now, to the "sorta hot" married gal ... how many times does he have to hit ya, before you say "enough is enough"? She finally gets a chance to drive off and leave him, thereby saving herself, and what does she do ??? Well, you know! Then, dear ol' Mom shows up and tries to kill "married guy", then "married gal" tries to kill him over and over, and you can guess the rest. I really would not waste my time on this one (unless you like "nose-rings" that constantly look like a booger hanging down ... YUCK)!

*Spoilers* "I know" that this "kinda cheap" version of an apocalyptic tv movie ... has been absolutely butchered by most reviewers, but I like where it was headed ... sort of. One thing I do not like is, there almost ALWAYS has to be that one IDIOT voice of contention ... who always thinks you have to KILL and TAKE everything you want, and not just stay a part of the community and work together, for the greater good. The "bad guys" (so-to-speak), are actually mostly family members of the "good guys", who just did not want to get along with everyone else. They've gone to calling themselves "clans", living out on the ice, and spending every waking moment plotting how to take what appears to be the only remaining building left on the planet, away from the good guys ... (oh, if you coulda just got along with everyone else and STAYED THERE in the first place)! What appears to be a kind of "saving grace" is, towards the last third of the show, they (good guys) actually find AIR FORCE ONE under the ice. Needless to say, there are some things on board that could significantly help a group who is just trying to survive. BUT, there is also something on board that could destroy any hope of ever having anything close to a return to something close to a regular life (the "bad guys" find out about this because of a Romeo & Juliet kind of relationship between a good GUY and a bad GIRL). She tells about the discovery because, evidently, Big Daddy King bad guy, is not above threatening the lives of children (who he claims he's trying to SAVE), to make "Juliet" divulge how to sneek into the "good guy" building, to steal their equipment). At the very end, we discover something that can change everyone's entire way of life (if only they can check it out, verify the "hope", and get back in time to tell everyone before the bad guys start the war to end all existence)! Seems worth another "movie of the week ... or two", or even one or two short seasons on "hoodoo, voodoo, yoohoo, or some other streaming service", etc. But, we already know THAT didn't happen. I would like to have seen if they coulda made it more interesting, with a little more time?

*Possible SPOILER (or 2)* If U do not mind reading subtitles (which, I do not ... I have stumbled across some very good movies because of this), then U will enjoy a pretty doggone good movie here! A family is left in their rundown, Mexican (I believe) ranch, due to fighting between insurgents and loyalists, which has left them with almost nothing (or, so it would seem). A rag-tag group of insurgents (or, are they disguised loyalists), are out looking for all the gold and wealth stolen from all the farmers and ranchers. They come across a ranch that seems to have nothing, but the owner of the ranch allows them to spend the night in some of the ruins on his property, because he believes they ARE insurgents. The owner has 4 daughters and 1 male "helper" (the owner is confined to a wheelchair). The insurgents do not believe the man when he says he has no gold, and some go out looking after dark. Long story short ... the insurgents find the gold, BUT ... there is the "zombie" of their general guarding it! They kill the owners male helper, and tell him they are gonna have their way with his daughters. But, little do they know, the daughters know how to make AND control zombies, and set about fighting it out with the insurgents. Guess who wins ???

*SPOILERS - one possible small spoiler* Okay ... I understand ... there will be ZERO Academy Awards presented to this movie. But ... almost 100% "1's"? I don't think so. There was some fairly good action in this movie, and ... some very "gory" fight sequences, for such an inexpensive movie. Nice little twist (that most saw coming) about halfway thru, and a typical "Americans good, everyone else ... bad" ending. While I would not plan week-end "date night" around this movie (unless your woman is a big-time Scott Adkins fan), it wouldn't be bad if there are no "first rate" movies left at the Redbox! I judge my movies simply by "was it, at least, somewhat entertaining?" ... and this one was "okay".

*spoiler or 2* I do not understand all the terrible ratings. I really thought this movie was entertaining! While yes, it was slow ... the whole point was living in a world with nothing left, and trying to find your way (even after SEVERE brutality). I thought Waterhouse and Mamoa were excellent, while Ribisi was wasted, and Keanu was VERY out of pocket as somewhat of a perv. And, tho I have never been a Jim Carrey fan, this was perhaps his best role. There are, basically, two camps here ... the "Bad Batch" (cannibalistic bad guys), and the city (for lack of a better word) of Comfort (supposed "good guys", tho, well ... you decide). In almost every "apocalyptic" movie you see, this inevitably leads to the big showdown, for all the marbles. But these two seem to have a binding truce, and no one tests that set-up. But, it appears, after the brutality inflicted on Waterhouse, she must decide where she belongs. I am not a professional movie critic (obviously), but I judge a movie on one criteria ... did I like it, or not. And, I DID like this one. Do me a favor? Watch it with an open mind. Just don't expect zombies or a high body count.

*might be a spoiler or 2* This was a really great idea for a movie! While I gave it 7 stars, be aware that it DOES get slow in parts. A group of "bullies", spend years picking on a group of nerds/nobodies. The bullied group make a grand plan to "get even" (who amongst all the "bullied" hasn't considered trying to find a way to get even?). I really did like their plan, and, for the most part, it played out pretty good. Just be aware that the leader of the "nerd" group kinda likes to hear his own voice thru a voice altering device of some type. This is where the movie bogs down a bit. The nerds use the only "sure-fire" way to get the bullies all in one spot ... throw a secret party. Once there, they spike the punch bowl, tie up the "passed out" bullies, and the "fun" begins. There are a few really thought-y kind of ways they get even with some of the bullies. This, and the way it ends are the best reasons for watching. I really hope that this movie DOES make at least one bully out there think about what they've been doing. Then, I believe it will have served a good purpose.

*spoilers* I stumbled onto this movie on one of my many insomniac nights ... and was very pleasantly surprised! I must admit, I've totally fallen into the "zombie" craze, and had just about forgotten my original love of all things "vampire" (with Jonathan Frid/Barnabas Collins being my first "hero")! However, this movie didn't take long to remind me that there are other monsters. "Mister" comes upon Martin one night while Martin is out hunting for his dog while his Dad is working on the car in a garage with his Mom and baby brother anxiously waiting. Martin hears Mom scream, and immediately bolts to the garage, where a real "stankified" vampire is tearing his family apart. Mister stops him and tells him that his family is, for all intents and purposes, already dead ... but, they still need to kill "stanky"(it seems all vampires in this movie are super strong, hard to kill, and rotting from the get go. Mister proceeds to take Martin under his wing, train him in the fine art of killing vampires, and looking for a place free of monsters. Along the way, they pick up a nun (a really worn out looking Kelly McGillis), and a pregnant teen (Danielle Harris), and another young guy. The REAL problem ends up being the so-called "holy-rollers", led by a preacher (I use this term VERY loosely), who sees absolutely nothing wrong with raping women and enslaving weaker people. Needless to say, preacher ends up being as bad, or maybe even worse ... than the stinkin' vampires. Pretty good action, fairly good plot, but I was not a fan of the ending. If you like vampire movies, don't miss this one!

*Spoilers* I must admit ... tho I am a fairly big Karl Urban fan, I believe he AND Pacino were both just grabbing a paycheck here. The only decent acting job (besides the coroner), was turned in by Snow. We have a serial killer that, for some reason (made clear with about 10 minutes left in the movie), likes to play the children's game "Hangman". This guy find more elaborate ways to do away with each victim, as the movie progresses. Yet, the detectives (Urban and his retired buddy-detective Pacino, who he asks to take a look at a victim, then ends up staying on til the end), and their tag-along reporter friend Snow (who freely walks all over crime scenes and handles evidence), cannot seem to come up with a clue about what is going on. I'm surprised they figured out the cases were all "connected" in the first place. You knew something was up when, just over half-way thru, they think the serial killer has killed himself, and they send Snow home to rest ... yeah, nothing wrong with THAT move!). Sorry, but it's time for Pacino to hang 'em up. The hairstyles ment for 20 year olds and the very crappy make-up jobs cover up nothing anymore. And, his mumbling is getting terrible. Also, evidently, if you are gonna use Urban in a movie any time soon, please make sure you use vehicles big enough for him to climb in and out of, don't have him chasing 25 year olds in foot pursuit, AND, don't have him jumping on and off of sheds and fences over 3 feet high! If you decide to watch ... make sure it is either "free", or out of Redbox. Do NOT pay that ridiculous $11 PPV charge to see it (on a certain MEGA cable company). Then, you won't be so disappointed.