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Reviews
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
Boring and boring
Since the Warrens were back in this one, I had been somewhat excited. What a disappointment. First off, after a rather.tense introduction, I quickly understood, the Warrens would not be there for long, replaced by a bunch of teenagers.
A little surprise though, those teens aren't stupid. Still, they're not very interesting and put into situations met one million times. The thing is the movie is a stack of boring sequences. Nothing happens. Something moves in the background but falls flat. Something else pops up. And then another one.
There is no feel of danger. No originality. Sometimes there's a bribe of an idea (the colored filter), but that's all.
It finally ends up being the weakest Conjuring installment so far. Too bad for a pretty solid franchise, clearly still above other modern horror stuff.
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
Incredibly bad
Oh my, what a disappointment. I was somewhat excited because this franchise has been pretty decent so far, so I decided to give it a go. Moreover it was free on some test of a platform, so why not?
The first three minutes were pretty interesting and well-done, something rather close to what is expected from this beloved franchise, despite the stupid characters.
But after this, what the hell...?
The characters are far from being interesting. We don't care about who they are and what will happen to them. The typical single mum with more or less rebel kids, living in a dump. Hey babe, if you can't make ends meet and find a decent spot to live in, just find a man!
Then comes the sister, a cliclé of the strong girl with flaws.
Nobody cares about their fate. The plot is dull and far from being original. No suspense at all. No iconic situation. No bloody humor. I first though the mum would be tree-ed in the elevator. Nothing at all. We already know who will die and who will survive.
Plus, the neighbors are pointless. There is one who has a shotgun and while using it, gets closer to his target, because he seemingly likes being slashed.
Ash with a chainsaw is iconic. A lambda girl wearing a wifebeater with a chainsaw is...Uh, well, I don't know. It's a waste of time and I hope it does not kill the franchise that deserves much better.
Assault on VA-33 (2021)
Hahahaha
I decided to give it a try because it was in my suggestion list as I watched "Home-Sitters", an action-packed home invasion. Plus, there were some names in it. So, what is the result?
From the very beginning, you know it's gonna be special. The situation in the introduction shows off some flaws. But actually nothing really repulsive.
And after this? The villains look like your average neighbors. Mark Dacascoss had some free time between two movies and forgot to train a little bit. Michael Jai White tries some comedy. Most of the time, they both play John Malkovich, actually playing remotely pretending to be involved in the plot. Dacascos who is a sniper, watches a location that has nothing to do with the hospital. The sherriff's deputy is supposed to arrive at the hospital but for no reason instead of going to the frontdoor, ends up in a narrow back deadend.
The plastic toys they all use bearly make no impact on walls. Some bad guys prefer going hand-to-hand versus an armed foe. The FBI man shoots orders, but there is nobody around to execute.
The villains are ordered to kill everybody, but they don't, as all the hostages are just behind them.
Weston Cage is a super-super-funny Ramzan Kadirov. His purple shirt lieutenant has a bullet in the heart but keeps running like Carl Lewis. Commandos laugh about a bad joke during a dangerous operation.
There is a wild car chase at 5 miles/h. I will pass on the amusing night-after-day.
Gina Holden is cuter than ever and demonstrates lots of conviction in her part. That's very cute.
SPF has always been a good actor. He has lots of fun and energy and makes a very credible action star.
The final result? It's super fun. And that's all that matters. Unlike irritating Prometheus or Alien: Covenant that are so stupid, it's difficult to watch til the very end.
Color Out of Space (2019)
Disappointing and irritating
When searching for Nic Cage flicks on Prime, I stumbled upon this one and picked it up because of the intriguing summary.
The very first 10 minutes or so look exciting with a very neat cinematography and a beautiful scenery. Quickly though, I felt it would be a disappointment. The son is a stupid junkie and instead of dropping him in the well for this, they seem to care. The more the movie moves on, the more they take stupid decisions. Dialogues look unreal: one answer doesn't seem related to the question. So, it's pretty hard to follow.
There's another junkie in the park, and nobody knows why he's there. The younger son deserves a couple of slaps: he sees a weird insect and like a scientist from the Prometheus, he seems to enjoy this presence, instead of running away.
The daughter is a kinda witch, and as I believed it would help to fight the invaders, it is totally pointless in the story.
The mom is ill, and once more, it's totally pointless.
And Nic starts doing Nic, I thought it would become interesting, unfortunately not. When your car doesn't work, it's better to run away by foot, instead of staying in the danger place.
Once again, I thought the cellar would be rather important. It's not. Same for the alpacas, that are there for no reason at all.
And what happened to the dog?
So, it ended up very disappointing for reasons that has nothing to do with the budget. Let's go back to Red Rock West, Face/Off, The Rock, Con Air and even Season of the Witch, Benjamin Gates, Knowing or Ghost Rider.
Jägarna (1996)
A Western vibe from Sweden
It is clearly not a masterpiece, still it is a very good stylish take on noir. We don't have much chance to watch such films from Sweden, so, one shouldn't hesitate when facing it. There is nothing much original into it, but the masterful cinematography embraces you in this dark dark dark world. Most of the time we have a feeling we are somewhere between AZ and NM with the local bar, the trigger-happy few, the main street where you expect to spot the Olsen Mercantile... You land in an environment much more troubling than a flowers village somewhere in Sweden.
Foreign audience gets a different vision from Sweden, where horrible things can happen like in any other place of the world. Funny thing, is that I couldn't thinking about the Don of Mar-a-Lago, but I don't really know why. It added to the fun.
How to Plan an Orgy in a Small Town (2015)
Better than the reviews on here
That's ok. We all agree on that one: the first 15 minutes are very boring, just blabla and snail pace. But instead of moving to another flick, I remained on it because this kind of indie always deserve attention. And especially if there is some kind of orgy involved.
After the uninteresting introduction, as we know more about the town and the characters, it gets more and more interesting. Because at some point, many of us want to know how this thing happen, and what/how we would handle such a case.
No matter what you read here, it is funny. The mayor is funny. The lead is not really, but she has the kind of thing that makes us want to go til the end.
And...there is Kat Isabelle, of course. With her lingerie, she steals the show.
What is good is despite the nonsense of the beginning and the ending, the movie remains somewhat realistic, because organizing such a party with friends is never innocent. So is it worth trying?
Clear and Present Danger (1994)
Harrison Ford is Jack Ryan
Each time it's aired on TV, I can't help but watching it. There is something special with this Ryan episode and it's certainly the best adaptation from Clancy. When we see the Without Remorse recently released, there is no question.
The most famous sequence is better than the similar one Villeneuve made for Sicario. Harrison Ford has rarely been as good as in this film. Very convincing.
And each time I enjoy him being an efficient team with Willem Dafoe, who makes a better Clark than who you know.
Even Raymond Cruz is very good as a special op, a change from his typical drug dealer.
A rare movie.
Saknad (2017)
Slow but intriguing
Found this presented as a feature film on Prime and watched it because I liked the plot. Photography is pretty and Nutley uses Bergström as usual. Premice is ok. But it's so slow. Could've been shortened into 90min or a 2-part TV something. Atmosphere is nice though.
The 2nd (2020)
Ouch!
Just saw this one on TV. I first thought it was something with unknown actors but it was on prime time. It was incredible ill-made. What the hell happened to Ryan Philippe?
Home-Sitters (2022)
The low budget Time & Tide
Not a sequel, reboot or I dunno what else. Not even a homage even though we feel as if we're back into the good old 80s with Rothrock, Khan and Khan and Romeo Diaz as the composer with original movies that knew how to avert pointlessly fat scripts.
As epilectic as a Tsui Hark, without the Ching Siu Tung expertise, it looks like a present days Time & Tide, with a similar in-the-fridge 1-take sequence. With some flavors from Magic Crystal...
VFW (2019)
Such a disappointment
When I first saw the trailer, I got an instant hard-on, much more than if I was stuck in a room with a stockings try on haul youtuber. Hum, looks as if I'm much more interested in old men than I thought. I need to investigate this one...
Anyway, beloved old actors, experts in films with shotguns, kicks and babes in an Assault rip-off, tribute, remake, whatever, I wanted that so much, that I posted somewhere this was the most exciting trailer of the century.
There have been many many movies trying to rejuvenate the Rio Bravo/Assault effective plot. Most have failed such as "Les Insoumis" (with Richard *I love my daughter* Berry) and the very poor "Nid de Guêpes". Few have kinda succeeded: the insane episode #5 of "Gangs of London" or the segment "The Night of the End of Days" from "An Horror Anthology".
Once I saw the VFW DVD in shelves in my favorite store, I didn't even wait for a possible discount, I acquired it immediately, which I stopped doing a few years ago now wisely waiting for a drastic price drop.
Let's face it: after 5 minutes or so, my excitement faded and never came back. I wanted to love it so much, believe me! These actors are so great and criminally underused. Remember "Three the Hard way"? Remember "Die Hard 2"? Remember "Karate Kid"?
Yeah forget "KK 3" and "Don't breathe".
For this film, they unfortunately forgot to use decent lighting. Cinematography is dark and ugly. Yeah, ugly.
Our favorite actors try their best to keep our attention and interest high, but they fail, because of a lazy script, a lazy direction. Even Dora Madison is never used in a decent way.
Exploded skulls never save the film from boredom. Rythm is flat. Action is so slow-paced we expect Sleepy Joe to be somewhere in the bar.
As I said, I wanted to love it so much but it's such a waste, with so much talent involved it's too bad.
We need more old actors with shotguns and axes. Too bad this one does not launch the trend.
The Paraseekers: Charlie's House (2018)
Fun and creepy
In this kind of show, we always expect people going to a place with lots of weaponry and some strange things happen. With this new episode of Paraseekers, we're
not disappointed. We get everything that is rather mandatory: investigation, explanation, narrative, suspense, doubts and a medium.
The episode is gripping. We can't stop looking everywhere in every frame to look for anything unusual. It's like we're part of the team and we wish we could be with them.
Or not... We look forward to their encounter with a super demon.
And, Carl's moustache and the medium's hairstyle steal the show.
An Horror Anthology (2020)
What if...James Whale and Roger Corman teamed-up?
That's what's so great with Prime: the incredible catalog and the efficient AI that offers you movies you don't necessarily expect. As movie-buffs, we're often disappointed by the lazy movies sometimes made by established people. It's even irritating.
Fortunately, there are guys that have the guts and who don't care. They make movies no matter what.
I admit I picked up this one because of the blonde and the leg on the poster (hey that's what posters are for) and I was intrigued by the storytelling since the very beginning.
If there's not much money, we can obviously find culture and fun. Culture because the guys know what they do and real movie lovers know what those segments are about: James Whale, Terence Fischer, Umberto Lenzi, Jack Arnold and Roger Corman. Different names than those listed in the end credits but those are the ones I viewed. Hey, hard to have better references, eh?
The good point is they digested them, and try their best to say something original. They sorta succeed.
They don't stick to silly humor like Creepshow. They don't try to demonstrate some arty stuff, like Nightmare Cinema. They don't irritate us like ABC.
They're worried about telling fun stories you don't necessarily see elsewhere (God bless foreign cultural points of view). And they take the risk to deceive and provoke, no matter what. And I love that!
There's culture, fun and vision. Well, when you don't have much budget (2K according to imdb!), you need to find something else, right?
Traffik (2018)
Flawed
Paula used to be very dynamic and convincing. Suprisingly, in this movie, made for her glory, she falls flat from being an action heroin. She tries her best though but she can't do much with such a lazy script.
How the hell did she greenlit it? The story has been told one billion times and unfortunately, it's not done the right way.
For mysterious reasons, we don't believe a second about the couple between Paul and Omar. Yeah, Denzel must've been too expensive for this. We don't understand why they don't kick their buddy out.
We understand quickly that they can't make a decent home invasion, because they don't have the budget for ravaging this beautiful house. Yep, it's cheaper to shoot in the woods.
Luke Goss who is capable of delivering electrifying performances is incredibly under-used. And the climax is...simply not a climax.
Paula deserves much more than that, starting with a solid script with way more ambition.
Moneyball (2011)
Not only about baseball
You may be tired of stories based on true events but don't forget reality is sometimes much bigger than any fiction and especially when they deal with sports. Remember The Blind Side?
Moneyball is about an underdog that wants to revolutionize the most popular sport. Nobody believes in this plan. He gets hurdles on his path. Yeah you got it, it may sound like any other story.
But the thing is Brad Pitt. He believes so much in the story and his part, which is pretty unusual in his career. He puts so much belief that he takes viewers with him, and even those who aren't really into baseball.
Because it's not really about baseball, it's about fighting the system. It's about trying new schemes, moving forward. It's about courage and determination, going against the flow and maybe making history.
That's a brilliant story, really well told and a very intense lead actor.
Stadium Anthems (2018)
Funny and entertaining
Hey, what strikes in the first place is the excellent cinematography and the very charming color grading. It's very pleasant to the eye and makes you wonder: who's behind this? Then, you plunge deep into this "world" even though you feel much better on the other side of the fence.
The story is well-paced, thought-provoking and raunchy. Acting is top-level. Actors seem to have lotsa fun, seem to be willing to demonstrate they have talent and they're enjoying being in this, even with those situations that are unpleasant!
And in addition to this, the songs are really great. A very good mock and satire that shakes your brain!
The Paraseekers: Corrado Farms (2018)
Spooky for sure
Ok guys, it's another paranormal stuff as we may think there are many many. But it ends up being different from the typical para stuff we used to see. And some people might complain, but at last a good originality cannot hurt! It's spooky, well-paced, with good characters. And of course, we want to see more!
What Love Looks Like (2020)
Super surprise!
I'm not that into romcoms even though I acknowledge they're nice to watch now and then. So, when I had this recommendation from a friend of mine, i clicked on the "Play" button after a couple of horror movies. Now, I got to admit, I spent a delightful moment with those characters. I wish I could stay longer as I was in very good company. The director knows his stuff and surprisingly, it ends up being above the typical romcoms. We need more like this!
Love Is Not Enough (2019)
Funny and entertaining
It starts off with something seen hundreds of time but rapidly switches to something very entertaining. Actors are surprisingly very good and the director tells his story with confidence. It's very funny, with the dialogue that hits back and forth though there's some kind of serious background that can touch anybody. Some kind of universal appeal!
Mural (2019)
Very original
A very refreshing piece of indie horror, with an intriguing setup. The director knows how to tell a story and take you to an unexpected path. Definitely needs to be in your wish list!
Chasing the Win (2016)
Surprisingly great
Okay guys, I know nothing about this universe and I'm not that into documentaries. But when I had this solid recommendation, I had to take a look at it. From the very beginning, I was grabbed by the storytelling. The film is short and therefore Laura Sheehy certainly knows how to stick to the essential. Oddly enough, I ended up rooting for the characters. It's kind of everyday guys against all odds, which I like for sure. As a documentary, it is set as a drama thriller, whose end is impossible to predict.
Even though you're not into horse racing, let alone documentaries, if you like people overcoming numerous hurdles, it's incredibly worth a watch.
Nocturama (2016)
Enter the void
Bonello obviously wanted to deliver a generational hit, a formal jewel with a shock plot, young actors and a well-made soundtrack. Despite this letter of intent, the director misses his target.
Let's cut to the chase, the film is super boring. Protagonists keep walking and walking, in streets, stairs, hallways, corridors. And that's almost all they do. Okay guys, you know how to use a stabilizer, but do you know how to build tension and unforgettable characters?
Actors deliver their lines, like brats from banlieue. Most of the time, they lack belief in what they're supposed to do. Their characters have no dimension at all.
We don't expect to root for terrorists, but these ones are so empty, we finally do not care at all about what may happen.
The "climax" is like the rest, boring and above all, really ill-made. SWAT Teams shoot firecrackers. Ok. Maybe to make us accept this movie is just a dud. The result is limp and boring.
A pure disappointment from an ambitious filmmaker. Sometimes it's better to play with heart and guts rather than apply a formula.
Vincent n'a pas d'écailles (2014)
A very discreet hero
I'm a big fan of the superhero genre and as a matter of act, while lovingly eating each slice of the MCU cake, I've always been curious to discover flicks of all kinds from all over the world. Unfortunately that's why I found myself watching Ra.One, uh! Alongside USA and Japan, France is a land with a strong superhero culture. French males in their late 30s and their 40s grew up reading Strange and Nova, monthly magazines that then compiled the adventures of Spider-Man, Alpha Flight, The Avengers and so on. Nowadays, France is the second world market for mangas. You just have to go to a FNAC at the comic book shelves to see zombified manga buffs spending a 10am to 7pm day reading their favorite series.
Therefore how can one not be curious about the self-proclaimed "First French Superhero Movie?" Moreover the trailer is more of a teaser that looks funny and says nothing about the plot. That's how I ended up at the movie theater in a not that empty room, looking forward to this intriguing flick. Surprisingly it's not a comedy let alone a spoof. Vincent is a discreet shy Average Marcel. In a world of the quest for easy fame, he only wants to live the normal life. The film starts like any other French film, with a solitary guy looking for a job. The first act respects its French origin. Dialogue sounds extremely natural and then unwritten. You have a feeling to be in your everyday life as boring as it may be. Plus the very good thing is it's a no-star cast. Big trouble in Little France is that you always see the same faces in movies. The lead actor is a boy next door and not a star that had spent hours of workout with a coach to look toned. The actress is pretty without being a bombshell.
Even the photography is typically French. Meaning it looks all but sophisticated with natural lighting. All of this sounds off-putting but actually it ends up being highly refreshing. It is because you know after this "boring" everyday slice of life there is some superhero stuff. Once the first super demonstrations pop up the audience laughs because even though you knew it, you were so plunged deep into the normal life in Southern France it is still a surprise. You laugh yes but the film takes the genre very seriously. I don't know whether the author is a Marvel fan but he respects the genre without xeroxing what was made before while not doing too much. He manages to keep a balance between drama, romance, comedy and superhero and he loves his characters. And you know what? SFX are awesome. No massive destructions, no 15-ft alien monster, just superpowers used in a normal environment.
But don't be mistaken, there are walls and cars destructions, chases in the city, rumbles. Every now and then, the author cleverly spreads winks to whisper "Hey man it's a superhero movie!" Of course the movie has flaws. Thomas Salvador is not Matthew Vaughn. Vaughn is "I'm the best of the best and I'm gonna demonstrate it with high virtuosity." Salvador is exactly like his character, a bit too shy and too hesitating at times (but when needed he kinda rocks). The music though funny sounds like stolen from a Marriott elevator compilation.
With its flaws and its qualities, the movie is very original and respectful. Plus without saying too much the ending is just perfect. For Marvel fans and people who aren't into superheroes, because it's a refreshing change with a drastically unique tone for this genre, this film is definitely a high recommend.