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kaholle
Reviews
Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)
clive owen should never wear puffy shirts
I liked the first Elizabeth with a fresh Cate Blanchett and Joseph Fiennes. This movie was putrid. The dialogue was wretched - Elizabeth to Sir Walter Raleigh: "I need something from you. And I haven't had it in a long, looong time." It's not what you think, either. And when the lady-in-waiting Bess asks Raleigh if a sailor's life isn't lonely, he replies, "Sometimes.... But it's the life I've chosen." These were two times when I actually couldn't help myself from laughing out loud.
Cate Blanchette and Samantha Morton are terrific actresses, usually. But this movie made them look like screaming, hormonal b*tches.
And Clive Owen, who is a fabulous actor in modern roles should never wear puffy shirts, or a goatee, or spangles. Ever.
Farewell to the King (1989)
Nick Nolte practicing for his mugshot
I just caught "Farewell to the King" on cable, and maybe it's just because I'm a girl, but I thought this was on the craptastic side. The script and direction are pretentious (once I found out John Milius was responsible, it all became clear). The supporting actors actually weren't bad - James Fox was outstanding. The biggest disappointment was Nick Nolte, who I usually enjoy. Once he goes native, he starts speaking a very stiff, stilted English, and half the time, he seems kind of distracted, as if he'd just smoked some of the bounty of Borneo's rain forest. And then the end -- what the ??? Learoyd just happens to be on the same boat as The Botanist (by the way, had the Botanist dumped the girlfriend, or what?)??? The boat just happens to run aground conveniently close to an island ripe takeover by a crazy Anglo ex-headhunting Army deserter??
The Number 23 (2007)
You gotta be kidding!!
Is Joel Schumacher's mama giving this craptastic movie a 10 out of 10? I was just at a screening of this. Everyone was pretty eager - thought this might be one of those movies that's not Oscar material, but a decent thriller. It was even kind of promising in the beginning.It didn't look bad, and premise -- that Jim Carrey becomes obsessed by a book he receives and begins to find strange significance and the number 23 in his normal life -- is interesting. Shades of "The Shining." But when the "mystery" was made clear, everyone in the theater just kind of went, "Are you kidding me???!!!" People were leaving the screening lamenting the hour and 40 minutes of their lives that they'd never get back.
Personally, I think Jim Carrey is actually a damn good actor. And Virginia Madsen, who has often been the best part of the movies she's been in, deserves better, especially after lighting up the screen in "Sideways." Joel Schumacher, however...