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Reviews
Andromeda (2022)
Low budget
This is not the worst film ever, but it is let down by a low budget which comes across very early on and stays with it throughout. The CGI is very obvious and dated. Acting is wooden and the flow is pretty staccato in places. Props are even worse.
The story itself is quite compelling and you tend to stay with it. Given that this was probably also affected by the writers strike and the various problems over the pond it is not a bad effort. That Amazon has it on Prime is a good excuse to watch it.
Not everything is Star Wars quality filming. And that is the issue. Audiences have come to expect better CGI, better CSO and better writing. Give this a chance. There are a LOT worse that are out there!
Expend4bles (2023)
Incredibly poor
The first 3 films were engaging, action-packed and well made. This is utter garbage with the worst CGI ever! The story could have been excellent with the cast that made the other films great entertainment, but this simply lacked .... everything. Wooden acting, utterly useless CGI that made everyone look as though they had just been highlighted by a five-year-old with a crayon. Scenes simply did not make any sense. It is like cameos put together by an amateur with a home movie set, pen, pencil and Stanley knife. The really sad part is that I cannot get the 2 hours of my life back or the £10 that I spent to watch this rubbish in the first place. If you want to watch the best part, watch the trailer and then move on. Don't waste money, time or effort with this turkey.
Lioness (2023)
Better than most
Whilst nobody could doubt the acting in this, it all comes down to good writing. The story is hardly original, but the context is different. Saldana is, as usual, brilliant and is thoroughly believable in her role. I'm not quite sure what Kidman has done to her face, but it is her role that I question. If there is some sub plot going on, then it defies definition and this is having watched the penultimate episode. Freeman is always a crowd-puller, but again, his appearance is very late on and not entirely convincing. As a whole, the team is very well put together and the story does engage the audience. The side issues and fringe characters add flavour, the locations are great, the filming solid. Whether this manages to pull a second season to anything like the hype remains to be seen, as for the end of series one - I hope it ends with the audience wanting more!
Red, White & Royal Blue (2023)
Awful from start to finish
I wish that there was something positive to take away from this, but I could not come up with anything. The acting is dreadful, the "plot" is non-existent and there is no story. Obviously there will be the gushers and swoons from certain sectors, but when it comes down to it, the film was appalling. How Amazon got Uma Thurman and Stephen Fry to "star" in this is simply beyond me. I am also somewhat bemused by the alleged reviews that say how wonderful it was etc. Etc. I am not an *.ism whatsoever, but my patience with the whole story was sorely tested. Locations, backdrops, contexts were all far too contrived and implausible to make it even ridiculous. Finally there are the two 'lead' actors. If there was a love story, it was so subtle that it could not be determined even as the end credits rolled. From start to finish it was an insult to my southern aspect and a 'film' you would do well to avoid. Try watching paint dry or the grass grow - at least that has reason. This has not.
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
I don't get it at all ...
I saw this film being nominated for an award, so I thought I would give it a whirl. Jamie Lee Curtis and Yeoh plus a recommended story line, I had high hopes. It was over 2 hours of my life I will not get back. It is confusing, difficult to follow and exhausting as the film jumps between subtitles and English. I guess that the story was well intentioned and there is obviously a huge following who enjoyed the film and its randomness. It certainly ranks high in the 'weirdness' scale. Somewhere in the multiverse there is a version of this which I will understand, but I fear that no matter how times that I watch this, its popularity baffles me.
Aladdin (2019)
Boring and uninspired
Will Smith is no Robin Williams, and everyone else is just playing along. It starts off badly, and somehow manages to get worse as you go along. After the opening credits run, you are left with the forlorn hope that things can only get better, but they don't. Aladdin himself is barely holding it together. Jasmin was more Onyx and Jafar was as sinister as a wet kipper on a wooden wharf. The parrot was ... present, but lacked any depth beyond barely comprehensible words. Then we get to the songs. If there is one thing worse than bad musicals, it is even worse musicals that try to better their originals. Genie's best song was in the cave of wonders. In the original cartoon. Here it is simply awful. I could go on, but it is not worth the effort. Really!
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Very disappointing ...
The first film was very good and I had been awaiting this one's release with high hopes. Unfortunately, those hopes were dashed within about 15 minutes of the start. The story is pretty much non-existent and it has far too much reliance on CGI which dominates the entire film and is completely overpowering. As a result, Cumberbatch's acting talents are stifled. The supporting actors are downplayed, making the entire film more of an ordeal than a pleasure to watch. This is not a Marvel film that I could recommend, although anyone who prefers CGI to story may enjoy this more b.
A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)
What the heck was the point?
There is two hours of my life I won't get back. I've seen more interesting paint dry. The grass growing would be funnier. I guess you need to have a humour lobotomy to appreciate the titles at the beginning and the end, 'cause they are better than the very, very, very long bit in the middle.
Left Behind (2014)
Disappointing
The books are so much better. There really isn't much more to add. Too long. Too boring and none of the characters really gelled. Although it should have been with a deeper Christian message, the essence of the first book was maintained. Too much focus was put on the plane, rather than the "why" of it all. All in all it was a turkey.
No Time to Die (2021)
The fastest 2¾ hour film, the best Bond yet
I was sceptical of the hyped reviews. However, this is probably the best Bond. Ever. There is no let-up in the entire film. Beautifully shot, breathtaking scenery, brilliant plot. I defy any Bond officianado not to be moved during the film. The best 2¾ hours I have spent in a cinema yet, and it probably ranks as the best film I have seen.
The Expanse (2015)
At last an Adult Sci-fi series worth watching
5 seasons that have only improved with each season. The characters are credible, the storylines complex yet easy to follow, the effects add to the series (as opposed to overwhelming). Although season 5 is the last available, more are apparently in the way. I cannot wait!
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2020)
Nothing funny about it
This was the most cringe-worthy rubbish to be touted as comedy I have ever watched. Puerile, toilet humour that did nothing make me smile once. Someone pad a lot of money to make this film, and to have an untalented lead to front it.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
A long overdue finalé
Patrick Stewart is one of the most iconic actors this generation has produced. This series, whilst only in its opening episodes here in the UK, shows exactly how good his acting is when coupled with talented writers. Don't look for TNG in this, it is nothing to do with it. It stands apart, but obviously works within Roddenberry's world. Picard has matured as season three (possibly the last season) has launched. There are many Trekkies who will not appreciate this, but they need to look further than 'skin deep'. The nuances are eye-catching and thought-provoking, and as an aging Trekkie myself, I appreciate this entire series and always look forward to the next Friday 'drop'.
Minions (2015)
Oh dear ...
Armed with my young son and ready for an afternoon's entertainment, we sat down to "Minions" with eager anticipation. Sadly, the film is simply not up to the hype that surrounded it. I am sure that technically it was brilliant and the software was wonderful, but when you have an audience of over 80% children (under 10 years old) who are simply not laughing, you know it has missed ... badly. The pre-show ads got more laughs. The story is simple enough and is easy to follow for any pre-school audience member. It is always worth watching an audience leave and to try to follow the buzz. In this case, the audience left within the first seconds of the credits starting, and the auditorium was empty (save for us) before the credits ended.