Reviews

This is a technically great movie. What it lacks is any kind of emotional response. It spends so much time on technique that the edit forgets what leads an audience to care for characters. And there are so many characters. If you are a cinephile, all the greats are "quoted" but what worked for them (one focused style) does not work here because it is like a ransom note with every scene/moment is different. The acting is great and committed. The color-grading (a weird mention) fails in a few dark-lit scenes. Score is fine but unimaginative. Re-Recording mix is especially dull (especially if you watch in surround.) But the biggest problem is the lack of generating any emotional response. I believe the building blocks were there but the film is dull and forgettable as is. It needed someone to tell the director to knock off playing homage and focus on story.

You have to look at it as the campest movie since Serial Mom. If you take it seriously you'll have a bad time. If you embrace the ridiculousness and the cast punching it up, it's fantastic. The casting director did a great job.

There are tons of flaws in direction and writing. But the cast really commits and there are some scenes that make it worth it. Obviously Nic Cage is a standout (most fun vampire since Willem Defoe) and the chemistry between Cage and Hoult works. Aghdashloo and Schwartz are a fun, unexpected pairing. Maybe underutilized. Awkwafina's delivery style usually fits but runs a bit flat in some areas.

Every truly terrible trope is done here. Maybe even in the first 10 mins. An example: an RPG is fired at chained doors. Does the door get a hole blown into it... nope. The door swings outward and opens a little. So not only is the door not damaged but it opens in the wrong direction. And that's just the minor bad. The classic every bad guy can't hit a target but good gal hits every one (despite being massively exposed - sometimes choreographed that way.)

There is a part where the American uses English/UK holiday terms. Ones they wouldn't know. (Obviously no American writers)

And I can't even figure out the accent Jamie Bamber is trying. It's not American (and I grew up in every American region he's "attempting")

This is Syfy made by Lifetime. That bad. Truly terrible and yet not worth "so bad it's good" levels.

This episode is just one giant Disney product (resort) advertisement. Every mention of the resort is painfully coerced. I'm guessing the writers were held hostage after Disney resorts post-Covid suffering loses and Disney being their bosses. They even throw in all the new rides/locations by name at Disneyland in the most awkward way and push all the merchandise sold at the park. (and the music is a terrible fit.). I'm sure the actors looked at the script and groaned. (There is a monologue that just jams in as many ride names as possible for no reason.) Really hoping there aren't more episodes like this for the season. Bad start.

Credit for trying to do something new. First act good. There seemed to be a commentary on basic primal needs/concerns. Second act falling into every creature-feature territory. We could go to Tremors for the storyline (and it would make more sense.) Third act completely dumb and nonsensical.

There was an interesting story to be told but it was lost. Something that could have an emotional point. Instead left with the "baddie" being dumb as dirt and the good guys doing dumb stuff (with no victory). Shame. Acting was good. Plot was lacking as it got to the conclusion. VFX ended up being lazy. 5 stars at best.

Desperate attempt at doing a stylish movie but fails. The substance is laughable. And the lead character (the "realiistic" individual) performs/reacts instance over instance of non-plausible/unrealistic reaction/actions. If you "ground" the main character and place all the others in a fantastical sense of being, the main character needs to actually seem realistic (thoughts, actions, reactions.) She does not.

Lazy episode of clips from previous episodes (from other seasons.) Must have been a way to stretch budget this season. 10 mins of new "story" and the rest old clips - with no new info infused. And the new "story" is lazy writing. Just constantly re-writing the shows own rules - comes off as nonsense babbling by the characters.

The basics is the "plot" is really thin. Still there have been good horror movies with barely a plot. The big problem is neither the characters' actions nor motivations make any sense. In every situation they don't just do the dumbest thing - they do things no one would ever do. The blame rests on both bad direction and a bad screenplay.

It's so painfully desperate to be clever. You can feel the writers and production effort on the external but there's no internal interest in the lead. It keeps screaming "look at me, care about me" to no avail.