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The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)
Horror or comedy?
This is a gritty reboot of Arrested Development, and you can't convince me otherwise.
A dirty business tycoon gets taken down, over way too many episodes I might add, on Netflix even, and all his children - plus his mean lady - with him. We're introduced to every one of his children, in excrutiating detail, and they are all some version of the Bluths - Gob, Michael, Lindsey and Buster. I realised this when we first got to meet Prospero, who's a complete Gob if taken to an extreme. After that I had a hard time taking anything very seriously. Especially since much of the acting in this show is quite lacking. I'll get to the exceptions.
Let it be known, I like Mike Flanagan. He does some good stuff, Bly Manor notwithstanding. But on this one he got waaay too self-indulgent for me. This could have been told over half as many episodes, just cut down on the endless monologues from the horrible people. It's all very "eat the rich," which I do appreciate and support. But this show repeats the same message over and over into the tiresome. We get the point. We really do. Stop preaching, just tell the story.
Let's be positive: all the Ushers die, and we're happy to see them go because they're all the worst (except Lenore). Some of the deaths were very entertaining, and although telegraphed from a mile away, I for instance found myself clapping and laughing as Prospero's party melted away. That's the good stuff. Camille should have been more mutilated by that chimp, like in Nope, but the ceiling mirror that got Tammy was a nice touch.
Carla Gugino steals the show. Again. She's just magnificent, no matter the material she's given. And Mark Hamill was unrecognisable as Arthur, a character I felt should have had more screen time. Maybe flesh out his backstory, because that stuff from the convo between him and Verna in the last ep sounded interesting.
So yeah, not really a bullseye. A bunch of good stuff, a bunch of bad stuff. Mostly terrible characters, with whom we spend way too much time. Fun deaths though. And Juno is cool.
The Menu (2022)
A reminder of how great movies can be
I had such a good time with this one! A wonderfully dark comedy, and one of very few movies to ever give me a full belly laugh in the theatre. Going in mostly blind, I didn't catch the tone at first. But from the moment I caught on, my face was locked in a huge grin for most of the runtime. By the time the smores came to be, I was practically rolling in my seat.
The story/script/plot? Brilliant.
The characters? Perfection.
The direction/cinematography? Expert.
This whole thing is a scathing but joyful sendup of wealthy, snobbish, joyless, pretentious, elitist people of any kind. To balance that potentially obnoxiously preachy message, make it palatable, and create such an engaging story to boot? I'm impressed.
Plus, it's not lost on me that the sole survivor, the only one deemed worthy to live on, is the one among them whose profession is seen as most dispicable in conventional society. And after all these ridiculously overdone meals, the is saved by a burger!
Just lovely.
Black Adam (2022)
Wasted potential
This thing had much going for it, at least in the idea department, and it could have been great. Sadly, it fails on too many fronts. For all its good ideas, it's honestly just too clumsily done. The incompetence on display is surprising at this level of blockbuster moviemaking. This is B grade stuff.
For starters, the screenplay needed at least two more passes. Flesh out the characters, not just the set pieces. Finesse the dialogue. Have them interact believably. Make us care! For one, the movie fails to balance its tone, which makes the small attempts at comedy fall flat. And sadly, the character Hawkman comes off as severely stupid. Every action he takes, every word he utters, only serves to escalate the conflict and further endanger the people they claim to protect. At one point I was sure I was watching Team America. Thus, his implied friendship with Fate comes off as unearned - Fate would never suffer such foolishness. When I don't believe the characters I get taken straight out of the movie, and it's so hard to engage afterwards.
Speaking of Fate... How very dareyou kill off my favourite character in his very first movie? Unnecessary. Unearned. Unbelievable.
The director should be replaced. We see what he's going for, but as implied earlier he's not competent enough to accomplish any of it. The scope here should be vast and the stakes should feel massive, but instead we don't care and the flick looks and feels small and unengaging.
The storytelling here is very rushed. We skip from location to location with no room for the characters to breathe. We never get to know them, and so nothing they do really matters. Pierce Brosnan at least tries to make his meager material work, oh how he tries, but the flick just won't let him. It's frustrating to watch.
Dwayne is sorely miscast in any role that requires depth of character. That dude is a movie star, not an actor.
I won't harp too much on the CG stuff, we know those guys are underpaid and overworked, and they never have enough time to make a solid product. That said, the Final Boss™ looked laughably bad and I blame the studio and producers.
Even the music is generic and lacklustre. I just can't with this thing.
I don't really know why at this point, but I expect better.
Smile (2022)
Worthwhile
The good:
Cool premise, some good scares, the first death gave me chills - overall a worthwhile watch. Solid effects and production design as well. And, there's some nice commentary on mental health. Always appreciated.
On a purely technical level there's not much to fault here. Except:
The bad:
Some serious editing issues here, certain shots/scenes go on for way too long. This should have been 1h30m.
I do have some complaints about the character work. I need to root for some characters, but it gets a bit difficult here. They are just so unsympathetic, which is often a problem with these newer flicks. Plus, the acting is often subpar, but I fear that may be because the script sometimes makes them do and say some very illogical things. If my sister came to my kid's birthday with a dead cat and had a complete meltdown, I WOULD HAVE THEM COMMITTED! She's obviously cracking and noone acts on it. This takes me out of the movie.
So, some flaws and too long but worth watching.
The Batman (2022)
This really didn't work for me
To me, this reads as a very stylish fanfic. This is not a very tight script. It's structurally messy, and its ideas are broadly drawn and underdeveloped. As for its tone, well... The movie leans hard into darkness and grittiness, to the point of parody and to the movie's detriment. I found myself snickering at several points where one really shouldn't.
Robert Pattinson is severely miscast, as both Bruce Wayne and the Batman. His Bruce is unlikable and unsympathetic, and his Batman is goofy-looking and unconvincing. And sadly, he had absolutely zero chemistry with Zoe Kravitz. Their brief "romance", if one could call it that, was soulless.
The new Batman theme is just hollow. After spending three hours with those same two notes grating in my ears, I'll be happy to never hear it again.
Alfred was a nothing character, the cops were deeply stupid, the voiceovers read like rejected drafts of Rorschach's journal (Watchmen)...
But Paul Dano was good. What little substance there was in this style-fest, he provided. That, and the fact that the visuals were competently crafted, serve to keep my score as high as it is.
Make no mistake: this is a mediocre movie masquerading as a much better one. Let's not be fooled.
I onde dager (2021)
Laughed my t*ts off, 8/10
This semi-dark comedy really hit home with me. The characters are spot on, and the comedy is occasionally gross but us Jackass fans don't mind that. I'm pretty sure there are some Norwegian/Scandinavian stereotypes here which may get overlooked by some foreign viewers, but which gave me a pretty good chuckle.
I don't even like Aksel Hennie, and I loved him in this flick. Atle Antonsen plays beautifully against type, if a tad wooden. Noomi Rapace is great as usual.
There are some predictable turns, but it also managed to surpriese me a few times. One of the better Netflix productions, I have to say. I wouldn't give this 8/10, but it made me laugh so much! I might even give it a rewatch.
The Wheel of Time (2021)
Mediocre across the board.
The script is amateur, the characters are unlikable and have zero chemistry, the acting is stiff and unnatural, the costumes are below cosplay level, the music is out of place... I'm so disappointed. Sat through 3 episodes, and I don't think I'll come back for the rest. This feels like Kevin Smith's Masters of the Universe all over again, made by someone who hates the source material.
The arrogance!
Stargate SG-1: The Pegasus Project (2006)
Can I get a "hell yeah!"
First comment after viewing the episode: Now THAT is how you put your band of heroes back on track after several episodes of misery!
Daniel finally gets to go to Atlantis. Yay. SG-1 has a dual mission to accomplish: Daniel&Vala use the Atlantis library to search for the two remaining possible locations for Merlin's weapon, while the others attempt to occupy the Ori Supergate by establishing a wormhole from a black hole in the Pegasus galaxy to the Supergate. The "how" is ingenious, and I won't try to explain it. Oh, and Rodney gets to help out, which is actually a good thing. On his own the man is intolerable, but his interactions with Carter are hilarious!
They manage to keep the action and suspense going throughout the episode; the "gate team" try and fail in their mission, while a Wraith ship approaches. Daniel/Vala make a startling discovery about the library interface. When Daniel senses something's wrong, you just KNOW something awesome is about to happen, and when she turns to him and speaks...goosebumps! Oh, and Teal'c destroys an Ori ship.
Like Chrichton would've said: Can I get a HELL YEAH! 10/10.
Stargate SG-1: Flesh and Blood (2006)
How to start your season
"Camelot" left our heroes in a pretty bad place. Merlin's weapon wasn't found, they failed to stop the Supergate from activating and the Ori troops flooded into our galaxy; the Korelev was destroyed along with a bunch of Jaffa motherships and Tealc's ploy to bring the Lucien Alliance into the mix didn't help at all. Things are looking bleak indeed.
So the season kicks off with Vala giving birth to a child the Prior calls "Orici", which is basically the Ori equivalent of the Harcesis. Vala puts it nicely, "they used me to get one of their own across the border". The Harcesis story was very badly handled, so here's hoping they do a better job with this one.
It's actually pretty exciting to watch "our team" pick up the pieces from the end of last season, because they really are quite screwed (pardon the language). And in spite of their rather hopeless situation, they go after the bad guys, get the main characters back and flee with their tail between their legs!
There's so much good in this one; Mitchell's rescuing Sam (awesome flying!), Vala naming her daughter after her "witch of a woman" stepmother, the Ori incursion at Chulak, Adria actually being a really really creepy kid, and the overall ominous feeling throughout the episode. When the Ori storyline was introduced last season, I was thoroughly pleased. After 8 seasons of Gua'uld it was a welcome change. And at this point in the saga, they've become an even more tangible threat; they have troops on our territory, they have a superbeing on their side and their ships so far seem to be invincible!
This awesome season opener gets a 10/10 from me.
Stargate SG-1: Stronghold (2006)
Politics, subversion and loss
This time we get to follow Teal'c and Bra'tac in their efforts to uncover a plot to subvert the Jaffa council, and I have to say it's good to get a Jaffa episode without any of the usual pigheaded, hostile nonsense they tend to spout. Someone's brainwashing members of the council, and for the sake of the Free Jaffa nation, our heroes must reveal the truth! We get some good scenes of interactions between Teal'c/Bra'tac and the council members, some of whom are old friends of Bra'tac, and the whole brainwashing story is pretty well carried out.
There's a "B" plot in this episode as well, concerning Mitchell and a war buddy of his (Ferguson) who is dying because of an aneurysm caused by a piece of shrapnel in his head. Mitchell feels he's to blame for the situation, and this leads to some rather touching moments between them. Turns out, Ferguson has guessed pretty exactly what Mitchell's top secret assignment is, which a frustrated Mitchell isn't at liberty to confirm. In the end, he decides to do it anyway, and Carter brings him a modified version of the memory device from "Collateral Damage". Nice continuity there. The scene where Ferguson gets to live Mitchell's memories of his adventures with SG-1, is very moving because basically a dying war hero for a short while gets to be part of something great!
All in all, the two separate plot lines come together nicely because of their underlying themes of bravery, guilt and loss. The show is on a hot streak now, without a weak episode since "Babylon". Sci-fi geeks everywhere; rejoice!
Stargate SG-1: Collateral Damage (2006)
A different episode.
This is a different episode. It's a bit darker than what we're used to, and with its theme and the look of the "memory flashes" (and probably because it's Browder's head being memory-probed) it actually reminded me of Farscape. That is not a bad thing.
I found this episode very intriguing; the concept was clever, the episode was well written and they handled the technobabble side of it very well. They made the "memory grafting" process sound believable (as believable as anything in sci-fi can be anyway), which is admirable. We've all seen similar ideas in other shows handled badly, with explanations going against all logic and ultimately ruining the show. Not so in this case. My sense of logic was very much in sync with their explanations. Kudos.
This episode also gives us a rare insight into Mitchell's head. We get to see bits of his past; tragic and semi-tragic events, some of which helped him become who he is today, and some he'd rather forget.
All good murder mysteries need a surprise ending, and such is also the case here. They did their best to keep the killer as inconspicuous as possible, while setting somebody else up as the "obvious" choice, and I'll admit I hadn't guessed who it was. And how their government ultimately treated the whole incident... Mitchell was vindicated, but the victory certainly left a bitter aftertaste.
So; a different episode - but a brilliant one.
Stargate SG-1: The Fourth Horseman: Part 1 (2005)
It hits the fan.
First I though, "poor Damian Kindler, getting stuck with writing the Jaffa again"... I'll say this much; he does a damn fine job this time.
The episode starts when a Prior returns to Dakara and finds Gerak convinced that Origin is the way to go. From there, the main plot threads center around three things: The Jaffa and their possible fall to Origin,the work on the anti-Prior device and the Prior plague hitching a ride with SG-6 and running rampant on Earth.
There's an ominous tone all the way through this one, and I like it. They build the suspense nicely with the plague spreading too fast for the military to contain, until they just have to admit they've lost control. Earth is actually vulnerable! This makes the Ori, again, a bigger threat than the Goa'uld ever seemed to be (although they did have their moments).
But it wouldn't be SG-1 if they didn't spice it up with a little humour. The scene with Carter and Dr.Lee in the lab, for instance, made me laugh. He's rambling on and on, and there she is with her earplugs in. Hah. And then, enter the creepy kid. Sorry, Orlin. Orlin?!? The previously ascended guy who built a Stargate in Carter's basement? He's a kid now? They give us an explanation equaling "a kid's brain has more room for all the ancient knowledge then an adult brain", but I'll assume that's technobabble for "the actor who played him last time couldn't make it". Never mind; he gives us some backstory on the Alterans and the Ori - which is awesome!
We're of course revisiting the Orlin-Carter romance, which Carter certainly is past but Orlin is not. There is a conversation or two about this, but the images they invoke are just icky and the whole thing is best forgotten. And speaking of forgotten: Orlin's deteriorating condition makes the plague-fighting part very suspenseful. Will he manage to do what he needs to do before he's useless? Exciting!
The episode ends on Orlin's brain slowly dying, the USA closing its borders and Gerak stepping into the Jaffa council's chamber as a Prior!
Stargate SG-1: Prototype (2005)
He's back...sort of.
This is back to some classic SG-1. Retelling the episode is just boring, so here's why I'm pleased with this episode:
- They're keeping the Ori arc going in the background by using the threat of the Supergate to explain why they HAVE to go to a specific planet.
- Carter gets to show off her intellect again by finding a way to get through the "blocked" Stargate, something we've missed since she spent the first 6 episodes of season 9 off-screen. Also, this leads to her getting to be part of solving the Khalek problem in the end.
- The scene with Daniel in the control booth and Khalek strapped to the table, where Daniel exposes him as the spawn of Anubis, and Khalek does his "holy crap I'm evil"-speech is just chilling. I actually got goosebumps. Props to Neil Jackson.
- Woolsey, who usually is the writers' tool for preventing the good guys from doing what needs to be done, gets to have a semi-good point. Don't get me wrong, I hate the guy and want him to die, but what he tells Landry is sort of a good point and Landry acknowledges that. Still, Jackson is of course MORE right. And the conversation between Daniel and Woolsey at the end of the episode is dead on.
- Khalek is awesome. His nonchalant demeanor towards Woolsey ("Dick"), his efficient, deliberate movements when he starts breaking loose and neutralising everyone around him... I'm very pleased. Even his death is awesome; first the surprise bullet from Daniel and then the barrage from him and Mitchell? What a way to go!
- Anubis was my favourite Gua'uld, and even though Khalek wasn't HIM, it was good to revisit that particular villain.
- Ascend-o-meter! Giggle.
All round, this is the way I want my SG-1 episodes: Suspenseful, exciting, ancient tech from strange planets and no Jaffa!
Stargate SG-1: Babylon (2005)
Bah!
Yet another really annoying Jaffa, spouting meaningless bulls**t about honour and vengeance while refusing to listen to reason. Isn't this getting old? Don't the writers see how downright stupid this is?
Anyway; while the concept isn't all bad for this one, the execution is. SG-1 are looking for a group of Jaffa called the Sodan. Naturally, they're hostile morons who attack without warning. Mitchell gets hit and captured, but not without wounding one of the Sodan, whom gets taken back to the SGC. The way this is done seems a bit contrived, but all in the name of plot I guess.
A Sodan named Jolan trains Mitchell in the fighting ways of the Sodan so he can get killed in a ritualistic fight against the brother of the Sodan he shot. He also tries to convince the Sodan that the Ori are false gods. SG-1 try to get Mitchell back while working on an anti-Prior device AND convincing "their" Sodan that the Ori are false gods.
The clever (though not original) twist of this episode is that Jolan turns out to be the brother of the Sodan Mitchell shot, and also that Jolan tricks both his brethren and Mitchell in order to save him. This episode is an utter mess, but for this twist I'll give it a 2.
Stargate SG-1: Beachhead (2005)
Almost there.
Almost there, in two senses.
First; the concept for, and execution of, this episode is brilliant. Nerus, the hungry Goa'uld, approaches our heroes with information about an Ori attempt at establishing a beachhead in our galaxy. While this turns out to be a setup with SG-1 and the Free Jaffa powering the Ori force shield and thus actually helping the Ori, thanks to Vala(!) they ultimately fail. Almost there. And you have to love Landry for the way he treats Nerus towards the end of the episode. Nerus' face when he realises his fate is hilarious, and so very rewarding!
Second; this episode could easily be one of my SG-1 favourites. It's THAT close to getting a 10/10 rating. Where does it fail? Gerak and the Free Jaffa. The Jaffa have always been a minor nuisance to me. They're always pigheaded beyond belief, often blind to the simplest logic and thoroughly suspicious, hostile and ungrateful. It gets progressively worse throughout the seasons, and with the election of Gerak as their leader they just say "screw it" and jump the great big Jaffa shark. You would think a race of "proud warriors" obsessed with "honour" and "respect" would be a little more willing to display these traits towards the people who are so directly responsible for their freedom, but no. I have no more patience with them. "Beachhead" would be perfect without the Free Jaffa. So; almost there.