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4/10
Recycled Garbage
21 September 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Maze Runner borrows all its beats from other films. There's nothing original here. This is an obvious ploy to take us for a ride and this recycled crap is what is wrong with Hollywood.

This movie is weak in all areas that make a movie classic, but strong in all areas that churn box office tickets; this is all visual.

We were rooting for these characters to die, and hoping for each turn that this would turn into an amazing slasher flick like Cabin in the Woods... but we were disappointed.

Harry Potter meets Hunger Games meets The Lord of the Rings meets every other film made with teenagers. They had a Piggy character from the Lord of the Flies novel, but he wasn't picked on. The main character is a cardboard version of Taylor Lautner's Jacob, and the female lead isn't really even in the movie. She does absolutely nothing except give one of the boys a chance to say, "girls are weird". I realized after the movie that the girl in this movie is Kaya Scodelario or Effy from Skins. Kaya can act -- she is insanely good -- and they barely gave her any lines or anything to work with. We don't know who this character is at all by the end. She might as well stayed in the basement.

Three years these young men are stuck together. There is no homosexuality, no masturbation or jokes about masturbation (come on man these are teens -- there would be SOMETHING), no attacks on the first girl to show up in a few years. Nobody even hits on her. Nothing at all. We are simply expected to throw human nature out the window.

The set for this shitty film is a Hollywood Sandbox surrounded by a death trap. Snoooooze. The death trap is not particularly interesting. The big baddies that patrol the deathtrap never once decide to scale the walls... because they are machines programmed to serve a purpose. What purpose? We do not know because Hollywood prefers not to reveal that. They haven't decided yet. There is no background, no huge reveal as to why these teens are in the situation they were in, and we are left in the dark at the end of the film.

But that's not even the biggest issue here. Nobody who made this film really thought very hard about the serious flaws. None of the boys scale the walls to map the maze from the middle? From up there you can see the whole maze.

This is just unintelligent mediocrity with some pacing and action but it's not even that good unless you try to watch it as a comedy, which is what we did.

You leave wondering what this was even about. Then you realize it was about making money for Hollywood via shitty CGI.
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House of Cards (2013–2018)
10/10
An American Twist on a British Classic
1 February 2013
When I thought about Francis Urquhart of the original House of Cards series, I could not help but imagine Kevin Spacey in a way that was similar but a role of his own making. Spacey's role of Francis Underwood, in Netflix's original series, is nothing short of a tour de force. The convenience of being able to watch the whole season right away is also something to mention as a new, fresh and exciting method of television excellence. No longer do we have to wait and be fed slowly the episodes as we wonder what might happen and find ourselves somewhat disappointed -- now we can be swept away. And that's exactly what will happen to you when you sit down to watch this. 13/10.
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Dexter (2006–2013)
5/10
Blown Away
17 March 2008
EDIT: Now scored 5/10

Half of this series is amazing and half is terrible. Due to numerous reasons Dexter's writers and creative direction took a wrong turn after Season Four. I do not recommend anything past maybe the first few episodes of S5.

PREVIOUS REVIEW

Previously Scored 10/10

I was amazed by Dexter from the moment I cracked open the DVD first season, to the moment I stopped watching the last episode of season one. I'm not your typical viewer. I try to see things in their entirety,without commercial interruption. I have yet to see anything from season two, but I am waiting for upcoming seasons to hit DVD, with great anticipation!

Dexter Morgan is pretty motif-psychotic, and this series about him is absolutely brilliant, in the same exact way. I found it difficult not to be completely lured into his world, much like everyone slows down to witness the potential horrors of a morbid traffic accident. We can't help it. A voice inside us tells us to keep driving and ignore the potentially shocking images, but our bodies somehow take over and curiously force us to turn and witness it all, drink it all in and get a sense of what happened and in turn, what could happen to us if we don't stop and slow the pace a bit.

You can't compare Dexter to anything. It's unique and yet the writing is rooted in good fiction, stream of consciousness style, where pretty much anything can happen with the right connection and cadence, primping and puzzling.

Sadly because it's Showtime, they will end up cancelling this before it can reach its true potential. Rumor has it that a third season has been green-lit, but you can never be too sure, with ShowTime. I am still miffed about "Dead Like Me". You can therefore imagine, I am afraid to get too attached to Dexter. Three seasons is joyous! Four would be better, but this is the kind of series I would like to see not only make it to a seventh or eighth season, but the kind of series I would like to see taken to the big screen, much like the Star Trek franchise, only better written, conceptualized and executed.
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