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mainsman
Reviews
J'ai rencontré le Père Noël (1984)
It's so bad, it's GREAT
I remember this movie from my childhood. Having been born in the early 80s, for some reason I remember watching TV during the holidays circa 1988 when this movie came on. I remembered two kids in the woods and an Ogre. That's it. However, it left some sort of impression on me...for the life of me I don't know why. It took me 23 years to track this movie down (based on extensive internet research...i.e. googling) and the payoff was huge. I bought the DVD in 2011 and it's become an instant hit with my friends and I. We watch it every Christmas season, each year getting more people to view it. And here's why it's such a hit...it's so deliciously bad in every way imaginable. The script is bad, the actors/actresses are bad, the "visual effects" are bad...everything is bad. It's so awful that is great. Honestly speaking, if you have a sense of humor and 90 minutes to kill, please buy this movie and watch it once a year during the holiday season. The songs will get stuck in your head for days. Certain scenes will stick with you indefinitely. The plot is so incredibly absurd...a young french lad has 2 parents that have been taken hostage in Africa (where in Africa, you ask? Just Africa, of course), so he asks Santa for them back in time for Christmas. Being bullied by his fellow classmates, and being abused by the school janitor (unbeknownst to his negligent school teacher), he gets on a plane with a female classmate (no questions asked due to pre 911 air travel) to visit Santa in person so that his wish might come true. Hilarity ensues. Fairies, elves, reindeer, an Ogre, crocodiles, monkeys, African warlords all make an appearance. Fantastic. My 10/10 rating is not sarcasm. It's genuine. Please, take the time to watch this film. If you go into it in the correct frame of mind, it will leave your sides hurting from laughter. Combine with eggnog or other "Christmas cheer." And lastly, "Stop all your crying business."
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)
Pure drivel
This is not a good movie. While the premise is an interesting one, the move is a failure on almost every level. To start, the acting is dreadful. Being a Tim Allen fan (The Santa Clause is one of my favorite Christmas movies), his acting in this movie is wooden and listless. In most scenes, it appears as though he is struggling to remember his lines. As bad as he is, Jamie Lee Curtis is somehow even worse. The entire move she appears frumpy and disinterested, until her daughter calls and suddenly it's as though she just found out she won the lottery. Three or four times she shrieks, "BLAIR!" when her daughter's name is even casually mentioned. Just awful. The supporting characters don't offer much either, even with some decent comedic names (Dan Aykroyd, Cheech Marin, among others). Next, the script is bad. As stated earlier, the premise of a family choosing not to celebrate Christmas amongst a community that holds the season in the highest regard could be funny if done correctly. Unfortunately, the reason behind it is murky. Luther (Tim Allen) and Nora (Jamie Lee Curtis) are spending the first Christmas without their (now) grown daughter. Luther, who is portrayed as a real tightwad, suggests that the two of them sail on a luxury cruise instead of spending the holiday at home, thus saving money and escaping the depression of having an empty nest. Fine. How that leads to a full boycott of every aspect of Christmas is not really explained. However, Nora buys in hook, line, and sinker. Then, the daughter surprises mom and dad by flying in from Peru with new fiancée. Suddenly, Luther is chastised by Nora for having planned this in the first place. Why, you ask? It's not really clear. Yet, for some reason the mere suggestion of planning a vacation over Christmas is so awful, they go to great lengths to hide it from their daughter. "She must never find out about your idiotic plan," says Nora. Huh? Finally, the movie is disjointed. It's almost as though the Director finished filming and noticed he only had a 70 minute movie. How do you fill the extra time? Add a strange Santa Claus character, and a robber that serves no purpose to the story. Also, add plenty of physical comedy gags that are overly done and fail to hit their mark. In fact there are two funny parts in the entire movie: Tim Allen eating/drinking after getting BOTOX injections, and an inadvertent scene of a fireman getting hit in the face with a ladder - which the director (thankfully) left in, increasing the comedic value by 100%. Avoid this movie.