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247°F (2011)
We can all thank dumb women...
Men? Please stop writing female characters. Can I just write that as a nutshell review? Maybe I need more words I don't know but that about sums it up.
Becky (2020)
So why did I fall asleep?
Oh man. So lots of big names and good acting, but who wrote this and why are they so boring? And what was the end result? Was she supposed to be awesome? Cuz... no. So watch this. Expect no results and at the end you will turn to your partner and ask whether that movie was "alright".
Porno (2019)
Okay... no
When I was ten I "directed" a play that was so awful and out of control the instructors of the drama programme I was enrolled in actually had to call a stop to it. The crazy thing is that I've regretted that into my adulthood. This movie reminds me of that. Someone should have called a stop to it maybe about a half hour in. It stopped making sense around that time. Now whoever is left should feel the same regret I felt since I was ten for "directing" something that someone should have called a stop too early.
La nuit a dévoré le monde (2018)
Do We Care?
Why do we care about some idiot with limited survival skills surviving a zombie apocalypse by falling asleep in a locked room? Next time you're in a potential zombie apocalypse, just fall asleep and you'll be fine. Now we gotta watch this guy that no one cares about, pull a one-man stage show that is no Tom Hanks on the deserted island, deal with his boring existence and his weird affinity to really bad punk rock music. Skip it. Too many "why would you do that" moments and no payoff.
Hallowed Ground (2019)
If you're a lesbian horror fan looking for a good lezz horror flick, skip this please.
Huge horror fan, of even the bad ones and I'm a gay woman who would love a horror movie with lesbians in it and would give it every possible chance. But skip this. Seriously the script is terrible, the victims are unsophisticated, you want your females to be good victims but they suck and they make terrible decisions. Don't even get me started on the fact that this WILL offend most lesbians for reasons that will become apparent early. Long monologues where no one interrupts their bull crap and at two or more points you can see the camera guy who doubles as the sound guy in the shot. Don't. Just don't.
Ghostland (2018)
User Reviews and Audience Awards Prevail
Dear horror fans, and I mean, real horror fans. This is a good movie and as a horror fan and a fan of the original Martyrs, you won't be disappointed. So please read the user reviews and not the lame-O film critics that really shouldn't be reviewing horror movies if they only like Rom-Coms and overly marketed movies with big names and production companies with deep pockets.
Downrange (2017)
If I Had Written This, it Would be Very Similar
Hey man, no spoilers here. Look, if I wrote a movie where people were stranded at the side of the road because there was a sniper, it would be similar to this. All us horror fans can never accept the "5/10" horror movies get because the majority of these "reviews" come from non horror fans. As horror fans, we want to see a movie where we could understand why the characters did what they did. That's all. That isn't much to ask for. Enter this movie. I was impressed! It's a situational movie and the characters didn't make me want strangle them through the screen. Give this movie a lot more credit than it is due. It's worth the watch!
Badlands of Kain (2016)
Skip It
Nothing happens. You as the audience will find yourself pointing at the television and asking the characters why they are so stupid. By the time something finally does happen, you've lost interest. You're probably checking your Facebook account to see if someone liked the picture of your dog that you took earlier that day or you are catching up on sports scores. The characters are uninteresting. The creepy guy isn't creepy, which I find odd because there are so many creepy people out there. They should have spit out their window on a Sunday and found someone better. The acting is bad. I'm not sure why anyone liked this movie. I think sometimes people are "supposed to" like boring movies to justify why they wasted their time watching it. My advice though is to skip it.