Change Your Image
bacharhajbakir
Reviews
Captain America: Civil War (2016)
As exciting as a senate hearing
Captain America: Milking the Franchise.
There are rumors that the Hollywood movie industry manipulates the IMDb ratings (this is going to get me banned so I might as well stop typing) and the score for this movie does not in any way make these rumors less plausible, en contre, I am now convinced it is so (this is my own personal opinion based upon no facts whatsoever, even tho the facts are there to be checked, I claim no knowledge of such undeniable facts). Plausible deniability - Check.
Ever since my long days of boredom in all my years of school, I have wanted to experience the ultimate experience in boredom. I'm talking about the kind of boredom that stops time. I looked long and hard, I signed up for boring jobs, got boring friends and went to boring parties. You know the usual stuff. Nothing could scratch my itch for boredom. I had to go deeper, and deeper I went. I was looking at the UN website trying to find a nice boring hearing of ca 2 hours and 27 minutes, which happens to be the length of this movie, but I couldn't find any. Earlier I was looking into US senate hearings on some boring subject such as Foreign Relations, yummy I always wanted to be bored to death on US relations to some backwater Kingdom somewhere in the middle of wherever. BUT, I found this movie instead and boy oh boy was I BORED. This hit the spot! I'm amazed at how bored I was. I wanted to walk out, but the boredom had propelled me into an out of body experience where I could not control my body, I could only watch my self bored literally out of my skull sitting there bored. This is like bored-ception.
Anyway, now I no longer owe Satan 2 hours and 27 minute of my life time due to that bet we had a while a ago.
What about the movie and the things that were happening in the movie? Surely the action was good at least? Well, if you've been in a coma for the last 100 years, then the person watching your comatose body for 100 years would be less bored than watching this movie. To illustrate the action: I have seen cars before, so when someone comes at me with another car, I'm not impressed. The action in this movie is an excellent mid-range car that will ultimately not turn any heads. You have seen the action done better somewhere else. But, if you are a boredom affectionado like me then you have to watch this movie in 3D. Now you can be bored in three dimensions!
There was some kind of moral message, that we should always do something that is not the wrong thing even tho it might appear to be not the right thing to others at the one before second sight and friendship as well... Also civilian deaths were like maybe not bad but not really good either? In the end I wanted everyone to die to spare us the rest of the movie.