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Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Spider-Man should be Spider Women
Spider Boy is not a bad film. In fact, it's got a dude dressed in tights shooting sticky goo out of his hand which makes it very epic and acceptable for adults to watch and not look like huge stupid NERDS.
But, its 2019, and Spiderman should have been a women. At least make him gay or transgender, but making him a straight white pre-pubescent boy is woefully behind the times. For this reason alone I do not think it should be nominated for the Grammy's
-Rusty
Once Upon a Time in... Hollywood (2019)
No one under the age of 50 will understand this movie
Quinton latest film is finally hear! His movie is a fairy tale about Hollywood, presumably set in the 1800's because everything is so old and boring. Billy Beane from "Moneyball" stars as stunt guy James. I think Duke Boom Boom from Pixars latest film "Toy's Alive 4" was a much better stuntman. And, he was playes by Keeanu Reeves. Leo returns to the silver screen in his very first role since Titanic! Now, Leonard is older with a big beard and disgusting dad bod.
Unfortunately, I'm a bratty 16 year old and do not understand the constant references made towards old timey hollywood. I would have much preferred the film to be set in the modern year, and maybe make Billy Bean the stunt man for Avengers or something idk.
My suggestion is to go watch spiderman, unless you are an old dork. Spiderman has more webs, and explosions which makes it a superior film.
-Rusty
Game of Thrones (2011)
NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!
Fact: GOT is a show for nerds who still haven't lost their viriginity to anything other than a tissue. The show is fillied with swords and boring nerd things like Dragons and politics. In one scene, Twinkle Dingus gets his willy cut off. I must admit I found it very entertaing, but I don't thing that scene was appropriate for children. This makes me question why the series is rated GOT (Generally for Oll Types of people). It should be rated r for neRds.
The last season was good bc dragon burns the city down. I especially enjoyed the sexy blonde chick snaps and blows up a city bc shes salty.
The tv show has sex, so close your eyes kids. Unfortunately, these are not experienced adult film actors/actresses and the form is sloppy. However, the majority of the audience is virgin nerds so they will not be able to tell that it aint good no.
Im excited for sonic movie instead of this drama.
-Rusty
Cars (2006)
vroom vrooooooom
Exciting and thrilling! Tony Car falls out of truck and ends up in radiator springis. He wasnt used to that and learned to appreciate his lavish lifestyle when he had to drag a bucket of tar down the road. I related to this movie because I'm a little spoiled brat!
-Rusty
Ghostbusters (2016)
Ghosts schmost
A true dissapoitment. The marshmellow man does not look nearly as cutting edge as he did 30 years ago
-Rusty
Good Burger (1997)
Welcome to Good Burger Home of The Big Burger!
Welcome to Good Burger Home of The Big Burger! Ha! that classic line remains just as funny today as it did 22 years ago while I was still a developing cluster of cells in my mothers belly. Key and Peele play the burger boys and lemme tell ya, working with them looks like a hoot! My favorite scene is where Keenan peele steals the burger bus and crashes it into the pool injuring 30 young lives.
-Rusty
Flubber (1997)
Flubber Bubber, don't forget to wear a rubber!
The absolute PINNACLE of film making.
The decision to cast Robert Williams as "flub daddy" remains just as bold today as it was 22 years ago when this film originally graced our eyes on the silver screen.
-Rusty
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
ammble gets a 3 from me
Yeh it was alright. Definetly better than the first annablell film but the doll just aint that scary no more. The folks down at pixar have done a good job with creepy dolls in their latest film "Toy Box 3", and I think these folks could take some inspiration from them.
-Rusty
Toy Story 4 (2019)
Fun
Toy Time 4 was good! The toy's are all back, and yes, that does include Cowboy Wood and Buzzy!
Wood's arch is finally complete and I was satisfied with his story, as well as the new toy; Bo, the delightfully curvaceous porcelain doll. She pleases the feminists by acting as the strong independent female lead, while also bringing the viewers a good time.
Only complaints are as follows: Those dummies are creepy af and gave me a week long of piss filled nightmares. Buzzy essentially has nothing to do all movie and it shows. The only moment of importance he had was to say goodbye to our favorite sheriff. The rest of the movie he actually does nothing and learns nothing.
Forkmeister is a despicable addition to the cast. If I were woods, I would have let him fly off the van die bc he was so gosh darn obnoxious.
-Rusty
Deep Creek (2018)
Deep
Awful. Characters are some of the most despicable human beings imaginable. I hate all of them. A drama like this only works if the characters have some sort of likable traits. There's nothing to like about these losers. How much do I hate them? I had to send a confirmation email to my imdb account to write this review. I endured that 2 minute pain and would gladly do it 50000000069 more times before I watch another second of deep creek.
-Rusty