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andrewsteff
Reviews
Halo (2022)
Shameful
HALO is a show that should have been a home run. It's a simple story about the greatest threat a future humanity has faced. Master Chief should be an almost mystic figure, who you barely think is human. A grinding machine of a war that humans are losing. Instead we get CW levels of writing, that completely undermine any good bits you could get out of this series. The Covenant should be a threat we don't even understand, and are terrified of, with a hierarchy that thinks of humans as rats. But no, we need exposition and girl power so we have a woman called 'the blessed one' who is not only a strong badass but also conveniently gives us all the exposition we need concerning this ALIEN threat! Why? Why do we need this base-level kind of writing for a premise that was RIPE for elevating?!
The writer admitted they never played the games, but even that isn't an excuse. This IP has great world-building and fantastic novels by Eric Nylund, that really illustrate an elevated human society, trying their best to combat a completely alien source before coming across UNIVERSAL threats. The story of Halo was ripe and ready for any filmmaker to come in and transform it into the next Avatar. Peter Jackson, Neil Blomkamp, Steven Speilberg, all names attached to this story at one point. Now we get to see the adventures of Kwan and Master Chief have relations with a traitor to humanity. In conclusion:
Bad Writing + Wasted Opportunity = HALO.
Damsel (2024)
Girl-bossed to close to the sun.
Honestly the first 3rd of this movie held some water, but by the time we got to the last act I was ready for the movie to be over. The writing got worse as the movie went on and honestly this might be the movie that kills Millie BB for me.her acting is quite flat in the lead-up and I can only hear her do the 11 scream so many times before I'm like "is this what you're good at?!". The girl-boss trope is also super-tired now, they don't establish that she even knows how to use a sword but by the end, she's a fantastic warrior? I miss Ellen Ripley. More Netflix slop for the bucket, but hey VFX weren't completely terrible.
The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)
Ballad of a lost franchise
I really wanted to like this movie, I rewatched all the originals right before and it only made this movie look so much paler in comparison. The actual "Hunger Game" in the movie at its most basic state in the timeline was entertaining while it lasted and the lead playing a young Snow along with Viola Davis chewing the scenery as a maniacal villain are the highlights, but too many musical numbers (there was all of one instance of singing in the original series) along with the stiff acting of the female lead and the tired length, made this seem like a Hunger Games if it was made by Disney. A bit too cheesy and long in the tooth, and a disappointment when held in regards of what came before.
Magical Girl Friendship Squad (2020)
Unmagical
I really tried... but what... what are we doing here?
Phoning in pop culture jokes that will age like 3 day old yak milk?
Making characters that are supposed to appeal to a specific demographic while also making them as bland as possible?
This is a shining example of 'edgy cartoon by boardroom'.
There are better ways to waste your time, trust me.
A Little Late with Lilly Singh (2019)
Cringe much?
Most cringe-worthy show I have seen in a long time. Yikes...