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NewForestWalker
Reviews
Amsterdam (2022)
Quite possibly my film of the year
Strange that on the 30th December I watch a film I had not heard of before
and that I am trying hard to think of a better film this year!
Essentially the story of three friends, Christian Bale (Oscar worthy IMO), Margot Robbie who shows yet more depth to her acting and John David Washington who does a Stella job as the last of the trio of central characters who meet up during WWI and then the film unfolds. I mention them as the central characters versus the main protagonists as they are supported by no less than Taylor Swift, Robert De Nero, Zoe Saldana, Robbie Malek, Mike Myers and more.
At the end I was left thinking I have seen a beautifully filmed, exceptionally well acted, well told story (which was apparently mostly true). Sure it is not going to be for everyone but if you are a fan of cinema, of wonderful acting, of a good plot, put aside a couple of hours and try this film and bask in Christian Bale being Columbo (deliberate or not)
Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)
So formula
Impressive graphics and a great looking SciFi film but a truely second rate plot. I would not have been surprised to find this had been written in a creative writing class for 15 year olds who have a thing for SciFi.
Thinly veiled elements from the Seven Samurai, the wild west, Star Wars (everywhere), the collecting together of the magnificent 7, a baddy you can recognise fron a dozen films and an Emperor straight fron, you guessed it, Star Wars. It doesn't help that they tell you straight up there is no end to this film by naming it part one with part two not out for several months. I won't be waiting with baited breath no matter how good the effects are.
Invasion (2021)
A masterclass in miscasting and annoying characters
The first 6 episodes are almost a complete waste of time with some bizarre story lines eg. A bunch of school kids falling into an open mine and an extremely annoying kid fluctuating between megalomania and school boy tyrant. None of that particular story line adds to the overall story in any way. We finally yet a glimpse of the aliens in episode 7 but don't build up hope as they don't really appear until series 2. If I had to guess I would say whomever wrote or directed the majority of series I was let go as it (finally) changes gear around episode 7 of 8 and then we are off. Series II has some worthy special effects which are matched by some horendous casting or characters with multiple people who deserve to die or at least have their noses broken. An Ame I can soldier who throws tantrums, a mother who is psychotic, a son who should be hog bound and in and on.
It is worth a watch but be prepared for at least half the cast to annoy you intensely.
Miss Willoughby and the Haunted Bookshop (2021)
Like watching an American Christmas film
Well, that film didn't live up to the trailer! What showed echoes of a quant Lara Croftesk detective film in the advert turned out to be an utterly predictable B film with strange echoes of watching one of the cheap budget American Christmas films. Both my wife and I guessed the plot within the first 10 minutes. It would have been quicker but this dross takes time to get going. If they handed out Oscars for wooden acting Miss Willoughby and the Haunted Book Shop would sweep the board. The only reason I have given this film two stars instead of one is the locations are interesting and York looks as good as ever.
I'm sure Americans into English "drama" will enjoy this but, IMO, save your time and watch something like Holiday.
Ragnarok (2020)
Who copied who?
Just finished watching a series on Apple TV called Home Before Dark where a family move back to a small town in America into their grandfathers house, where the main employer has been illegally storing chemicals which have leaked cadmium into the towns water supply. Imagine my surprise when the next series I watch has a family moving back into their grandfather's house, in a small Norwegian town, where the main employer has been illegally storing chemicals (cadmium) which leak into the towns water supply. Sound familiar?
Luckily there the similarities end! Both have their their strengths and both their irritating main characters.
Ahsoka (2023)
Literally painful to watch
Within the first few minutes of Ahsoka starting I already had questions about the casting, acing, script and originality. A 25 year old general? Seriously? I have t-shirt older than her! A, presumably, failed Jeki apprentice cum failed Mandalorian that can't hit the broad side of a barn with 4 cannons, is useless with a light sabre and has zero ability with the force. I managed to make it through 3 episodes, well 2 1/4 and then I started to wonder what I would prefer to be doing instead. Watching paint dry? Snorting vinegar or chilli's maybe? Arc welding with no mask? Appearing on (insert bad game show) naked? When the in space, chase scene / fight started and it took on a pale copy of the original fight with the Millennium Falcon and an equally bad shot Like Skywalker that was it, time to give up! How on earth is this getting high scores? Is everyone under 20 that is giving the 8-10 scores?!
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023)
Bare with it. Slow, slow build up but the end is worth it.
3/4 of the way through I was so bored I popped into IMDB and rated the film 3/10. It was proving hard work, the music was, well, rubbish, the story long and slow and I was pondering on giving up but given I had waited months for this to cone to Disney I stuck with it. Just as well as all the fun and story is in the last quarter. I wouldnbe surprised if Disney had dismissed a director or story teller and brought back someone who understood what Guardians of the Galaxy was supposed to be about. Fun, grandeur, effects, music (still lame until the end) and story.
At the end I re-categorised it as a 6/10 but I won't be rushing out to watch episode 4 if there is one.
Robin Hood (2018)
A distopian take on a well known story
Where do you start with a version as original as this. A well known story concerning a hero figure fighting against the oppressive system. A well known story with multiple versions hitting the big screen. So how do you make "yet another version" that isn't compared to all the others? Easy, change the period or more accurately make the period different, introduce a bit of the Afgan war for younger reference, update the weapons, make the theat more Hollywood and yell ACTION. Sure, if you are a Robin Hood purist or history buff you might get upset but as a piece of cinema this is pure fun. A little odd in places (if you are English) but a good watch.
It's almost as much fun as reading some of the reviews complaining that it is not historically accurate or doesn't stick to the story of RoL. Which version exactly?! No, the clothes are not accurate, no they didn't have magazines loaded shoulder weapons or machine gun type long bows but which part of this story do you seriously consider accurate? Forget the versions that have gone before and enjoy it for what it is.
Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)
Shockingly bad! The script has more holes than a string vest 😡
I've seen some ropey films in the past with script issues but this film redefines bad with the number, size and frequency of the plot issues. How did this get past any form of vetting before being released?!
Lots of spoilers in the next part.
A Policeman, convicted of corruption gets send to a maximum security prison (err. What?) and is thrown in with Idris hating inmates and guess what...
Some time later (can't give it all away) and there's multuple armed London police (not Special Branch etc) chasing Idris waving guns like it is a warzone but with tourists and traffic. Seriously?
Add in the head of the investigation shooting at the ground in frustration (in London remember), police and the fire brigade turning up at scenes faster than Superman, Idris taking a ferry crossing fron Dover to Norway, walking around in serious sub zero temperatures like it's a London summer, a villain that is phenomenally well resourced, for an ex stock broker, and this could be heading for the worst rotten tomato score of all time.
Idris slips into his old character with the ease of professional familiarity but even he cannot save this true lemon of a film.
This will, no doubt, show the Americans, once again, what a good actor Idris can be and what a complete lemon we are to release such dross.
The Northman (2022)
Interesting scenery, sketchy accents, not much plot
I had high hopes for this on the back of the recent Vikings series which seemed to show a more authentic life and people than the Hollywood, clean, buffed, white teethed affairs of the late 50s onwards. The cast looked reasonable with Alexander Skarsgård (from True Blood and other films) in the lead and Anya Taylor-Joy from The Gambit not to mention Björk and Nicole Kidman. I think Alexander started the film before remembering (or being coached) the film was supposed to be Norse not mid Atlantic American as his accent went from "really!" to credible whereas Nicole Kidman stuck to her Scottish accent throughout. The scenery is spectacular although it appears the sea might have been a bit warmer in those days judging by a 1 mile swim to shore the hero does whilst off Iceland! The visuals are great with mud, blood and rustic, period, charm everywhere. Unfortunately the story is your typical American "you killed my insert family or friend member, prepare for chaos" or maybe berserker mode might be more appropriate and to be honest could have been written on a post-it note or napkin if I being generous.
There seems to be a whole section missing between the kid escaping by boat and they presto a muscle bound grumpy adult. This ain't no Gladiator in its scope! Don't expect your far reaching Viking adventures or raiding of any kind. This is purely a short story about revenge with some nice visuals.
Chef's Table: Pizza (2022)
Interesting but very annoying overdubbing
Interesting series into different artisan pizza chefs from around the world (well the US and Italy). Most seem to have had a troubled life but are gifted chefs. The series could do with a lot more about their pizzas instead of the chefs and their life challenges as many of them look look fantastic but, for whatever reason the series has not gone down that route. The most annoying part of the series is someone, in their wisdom decided to overdub the non English but then they included the subtitles which do not reflect the spoken translation! This is the first and hopefully the last time someone does this to a very good series.
Dune (2021)
World class effects, thin on story and inaudible characters!
Like many I remember reading all the end available books (6 at the time), several times, so am very familiar with the plot line. My wife in the other hand had not and found it difficult to follow the plot, as, in all honesty it is thin on the ground! Not an issue if you know the story and therein lies the rub, this version is made for diehard fans not to bring new followers into the fold. The characters are well cast and the special effect further stretch the bound between what we think is real and blue screen effects. The major let down for me is the audio. Several times I missed what was being said as the effects were drowning out the script. Very poor effort and I am confused how this film was released in this condition. This review is after seeing the DVD as I presumed it was an error by the cinema but it is exactly the same on DVD. Paul's mother is mostly inaudible!
I will patiently wait the next one as, to be honest, very little happened in this one but I won't be rushing out to the cinema on day 1 again.
Blood Father (2016)
Utter garbage
Decided to give it a go after seeing it on Prime and checking the reviews. I'm not sure I watched the same film as the people that rave about it as I found it utterly boring. Mel Gibson sounded like he was doing a script read through for a film he really didn't want to be part of. His acting was better in Mad Max which was minimal and non challenging.
Erin Moriarty was marginally better but still unbelievable as a character. Have you ever seen someone get off drugs as fast as this girl! 😲
Vague meanderings into biker gangs (which could have gone somewhere), a Nazi memorabilia selling ex-friend who apparently owed him lots of money but let it slide (!) and a minor part by a drug cartel. I'm not sure who wrote this but it is worthy of Mel and his wooden career.
Short History of the World: A Short History of the Moors (2015)
Subtitles for the French historian (?) would have been useful!
Interesting in parts annoying in others.. A good part of the program had a person speaking French with no subtitles which is about as much use as a chocolate teapot unless you speak French!! 😡
How It Ends (2018)
Can I have mh 2 hours back? 🙄
When a film is called How It Ends you expect it to be, as the title implies, not a 2 hour trek across America playing out post apocalyptic stereo types. Save yourself 2 hours and do not watch this dross.
First Man (2018)
A 3 hour sulk by Armstrong!
Currently 3/4 of the way through and I am bored enough to write a review instead of focus on the film. I can't say this has done much for Armstrong image as he is portrayed as a sulky, loner all the way through the film.
No Time to Die (2021)
I have to (unfortunately) agree with the critics
I so wanted this film to blow me away after the multiple delays and much talked about content but it felt like a script run through before the Bond pizzazz was added. The much lorded Land Rover Defender chase scene involved a jump, about a minute of rough road and lots of Defenders in bushes! All in not a fitting finish to a Bond's career 😔
The White Lotus (2021)
Mundane, slow and painful to watch mundane
A Virgin Radio DJ and his team were raving about this series this morning so I thought I would give it a go. Made it through 2 1/2 episodes before giving up. A whole cast made up of self centred, whingy, morose, characters. The sub plots are dull and predictable, what there are of them. I know one of them (presumably) dies but at the moment I find myself thinking it could be any of them, preferably more, and I don't care. At least something would happen!
Update. Several months later and the same DJ is raving about the new series "easily the best thing on Sky at the moment", "if you don't watch this what have you got Sky for" so I thought I would give it another go. Watched the last episode of series 1 and the first of series 2, well 2/3 before I gave up and swore never to believe another recommendation by Chris Evans of Virgin Radio again 🙄 I kept sitting there thinking "why am I not finding this rude person funny" or the abusive Hotel Manager or the utterly over the top, floucy rich woman.
Awake (2021)
Utterly dull. Awake is something you will struggle to do when watching this!
Imagine, if you will, a Twilight world where a 14 year old writes a mediocre script and then some berk decides to make it into a film. Well that's basically Awake. This may have worked as a series but as a film it had way to many holes in it. Do not waste 1hr 40 minutes of your life watching this sleep inducing bore of a film.
Color Out of Space (2019)
We managed to struggle to half way before giving up!
Apparently this is Nicholas Cage turned "up to 11" but as usual this is Cage excelling at 1.1. Lots of wooden acting and forgettable characters with bad camera work. Do yourself a favour and give it a swerve. The people rating this as seriously scary must live very sheltered lives!
Hearts in Atlantis (2001)
From an age when films just had to be good
This popped up on my recommended list and I was curious why Anthony Hopkins looked so young (because it was 20 years old).
This can best be described as a worthy film "because it needs to exist". Not a horror, full or effects or complex twists but just a good, honest, well filmed story. Watch it with a partner or on your own to feel wholesome and mixed with a little loss at such a wonderful, promising actor in Anton Yelchin.
The Mauritanian (2021)
A harrowing story of torture by modern day America
The story of one of the nearly 800 detainees at Guantanamo Bay which later became a best seller book into the atrocities and torture at the American base. Harrowing to watch and doubly so knowing it is a true story. Sadly another example of what is wrong with the great United States of America.
Extraction (2020)
A plot written in a Post it with space for a sequel!
You are not going to get lost following the plot with this one. What they saved on a script writer they spent on bullets and explosives, lot of them. Only watchable as it has a known Hollywood face and even that starts to wear thin 1/2 way through. Interesting to have a new style of villain I suppose.
Pan (2015)
Horrendous accents and wooden acting
Interesting premise as a story ruined by some very dodgy and movable accents. Peter fluctuates been Dick Van Dyke cockney and posh school with every other line. I still haven't figured out where or what Hook is supposed to be or where from.
A waste of 2 hours.
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Spectacularly bad
The only reason I have not given this film a 1 star is due to the special effects!
Badly cast on multiple levels leading to some version poor and unbelievable acting. Whomever converted the books to a film script needs to be forced to find an alternative career as the gaps and jumps were laughable. The "hero" goes from a precocious, whiny 12 year old to a self proclaimed master criminal in a few days with all the swagger of his co-star Colin Farrell in a Batman film.
He is without doubt the worse casting for a lead role I have ever seen 😂
Frankly do not bother with this film unless you are a sub 10 year old with the attention span of a goldfish as you will get bored with the way they have destroyed what could have been a Potter rival of a film.