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The Bye Bye Man (2017)
Typical January PG-13 Trash
I had low expectations for this film, being a PG-13 horror film called The Bye Bye Man and all. But even I was surprised at how bad this was. It's almost seems like a parody of these wussy PG-13 money-grubbing horror movies that have been released in the last few years, but sadly it takes itself way to seriously to be a parody.
The acting is absolutely terrible from all the main characters and it's actually pretty hilarious at some points. The effects are also just as bad, seriously the dog looks like it belongs in the first Resident Evil game, and the main villain isn't intimidating at all. And as usual in horror films, the teens are all complete idiots that constantly do stupid things to move the plot forward. Like why would you put a hammer that you're going to use to kill someone in plain view of said person WITH FREAKING BLOOD STILL ON IT!!??! The scares were all extremely predictable and cheap jump scares that aren't even scary because the The Bye Bye Man looks like he belongs in a retirement home.
It's obvious this movie got a lot cut from it when it was downgraded to PG-13. The movie constantly brings up trains in relation to the villain but never explains its significance. Not to mention the three random naked people on the train tracks that aren't ever mentioned again. But anyway this movie is a passable piece of garbage that isn't scary in the slightest, do yourself a favor and save that hard earned cash for something actually good. Hopefully once the studios realize these PG-13 crapfests don't sell, we'll get some quality R horror films to replace this trash.
Mr. Jingles (2006)
The cover is the scariest thing about this movie
Whoever thought it was a good idea to make this movie and put their name on it should be pitied...
Mr. Jingles is, so far, the worst horror movie I've ever seen. It's shot like something that belongs on America's Funniest Home Videos. Everything looks like it was filmed by a $10 camcorder with a piece of sandpaper over the lens.
The effects are what you'd expect from a low budget piece of trash like this. Everything looks like it was brought at Walmart, and they overuse the fake blood so much to the point where a gallon of the stuff will pour out of someone's mouth from one stabbing. And if all that somehow doesn't take you out of it, then the cheesy stock sound effects and horrible acting will. Not a single character in this video has any more personality than plank of wood for Mr. Jingles to plant his axe in. The only one in the movie that seems to have any acting skill to speak of is the titular killer clown, who is perfectly over the top and cheesy and makes the film much more of a comedy than a horror movie. And if you are looking for a horror that's so stupid and terrible that its funny, then Mr Jingles is perfect for you.
Suicide Squad (2016)
Worst DCEU film yet
I had really high hopes for this movie after seeing the trailers. I thought it would a funny, dark comedy kind of superhero movie with lots of awesome action, and a new rendition of the Joker that could live up to the standards of previous ones. Boy was I wrong...
Let's start with the editing. It's godawful and makes everything in the movie hard to follow. The movie just randomly moves between scenes with no real transitions or setup. The effects are also pretty terrible. The Ancient God Whatevers look like they belong in an Asylum film. Not in a movie with a budget of 175 million dollars. And Killer Croc looks like the lovechild of Jaws and George Costanza with a bad case of greyscale.
The acting in this film is okay. Margot Robbie does a good Harley Quinn, Jai Courtney isn't terrible for once and is actually funny at times, and Will Smith is Will Smith cosplaying as Deadshot. Everyone else is either forgettable or has really terrible lines. Like Rick Flagg, who is just there to give shitty exposition so the movie can just add random fan service characters without worrying about actually having to show their personality and traits.
But the worst part of this film is the Joker. With any Joker incarnation, he should be able to make the audience laugh and be scared by his performance. Jared Leto's version tries way to hard to be both and fails miserably. When he tries to be funny and over the top, he just comes off as extremely cringy, and when he tries to be scary, he just seems like like an edgy tryhard. His acting as Joker isn't helped by his terrible design. I mean come on, those stupid tattoos are basically exposition on his character because Rick Flagg isn't there to explain him. The film also absolutely butchered Harley Quinn and Joker's relationship. Suicide Squad made it seem like the Joker actually loved Harley. Their relationship was always meant to be an abusive one where Harley has deluded herself into thinking the Joker loves her, when in reality, the Joker is just using her. This leads to the Joker coming off as more of a lovesick puppy instead of a manipulative criminal mastermind. And if a film can't even get its most hyped characters right, it isn't worth wasting your time watching.
Keeping Up with the Kardashians (2007)
This show has been going on for 9 years now??
What about this show that people find so appealing that it warrants 12 seasons over the course of 9 years escapes me. Kim and her gang of Botox-abusing clowns have no talent to speak of. All the ""drama"" on the show is so obviously scripted and so cringe worthily executed by a bunch of talent-less hacks that it is impossible to get invested at all in their lives.
Overall the show's success can be chalked up to the fact that it is the epitome of what makes reality TV bad. It's cheap to make, features people with no talent but are famous anyway, and somehow manages to rake in millions of viewers.These combined factors pretty much means Keeping Up with the Kardashians is going to continue being one of the top contenders for the biggest embarrassment to American pop culture.