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Reviews
I Drink Your Blood (1971)
Your Basic Gore-Fest!
After you get past the first half hour the movie's pretty good. Before that its a typical "B" movie.
But after that it basically turns into a gore fest. Its an hour of blood, gore, guts, saliva, hanging, dead animals, slicing, dismemberment and anything else you can think of.
The bad acting is offset by the sheer volume of blood. The movie is aptly named.
I thought this movie would be funny and there are some unintentionally funny moments and mistakes, but basically its a gore-fest.
Bad for people who have weak stomachs or have a low tolerance for gore, good for crazies like you and me who like this sort of thing.
The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2001)
It Wasn't Even Good Schlock
I often get kidded for my choice of Monster Movies - Zombies of Mora Tora, Terrors of Spider Island, Queen of the Zombies, etc, so I like Schlock. There is the nostalgia I feel when I see the movies I used to take seriously as an adolescent. I used to think Batman was a drama too! I enjoy watching them today with like-minded people. We make fun of them and have a great time doing it.
But this movie contained none of the nostalgia that I was accustomed to. Mostly because it was made in 2001, not 1961.
It also just plain didn't work. Its like they TRIED to make a stupid movie. They succeeded. It was so stupid I couldn't watch it.
The other types of movies I mentioned worked because they were made as serious movies, at least for kids, and adults get a kick out of watching because of all the mistakes in them. This piece of schlock is one scene of DELIBERATE moronic humor after another.
For example, the constant references to science and scientists are a way to get us to laugh at an intentional mistake. Sorry, the repetition is exhausting after awhile.
Anyway, Lost Skeletons of Cadavra could have been a good spoof on 1950's monster movies. But it was a huge disappointment.
Crash (1996)
The "91/2 Weeks" of Car Crashes
This was definitely out of the ordinary. Like the 'Secretary' this movie dealt with strange sexual behavior. I wonder if this is a new track for Spader.
I really felt like we could have done without the gay sex scene with Spader, I had to look away, but on the contrary I DID enjoy the lesbian sex scene between Holly Hunter & Rosanna Arquette.
Okay, so its a double standard. So shoot me!
It would have made more sense if the ending had said something like "Last year 17,000 people were killed in the US by people with Car Crash fetishes" but it didn't.
I didn't know such a fetish existed until this movie. I still don't know what the stats are.
Again, the ending was weird. These people are killing others in the highway for their own sexual gratification and by the end they're still doing it. I don't know what the National Highway Safety Commission would say about this movie -eh, eh.
Still it was a fascinating topic and well done. It reminded me of the movie "9 1/2 Weeks" in the way it flowed. It also followed a steady progression of debauchery like 9 1/2 Weeks did. Maybe debauchery is the wrong word. Perhaps 'insanity' would be more precise.
So I did enjoy watching it I did Feel it could have been easily improved.
The Ring Two (2005)
Be Careful What You Watch On Television,....eh, eh...
Unfortunately, I did not see Ring I when I saw Ring II, so I still have to see it. However I have never been kept in my seat like I have with this movie.
Its not filled with fluff, filler, or even comedy, which BTW would have helped. It is straight suspense and horror. This isn't like those formula Jason movies with fake blood, tongue and cheek humor and special effects. Its an very well made horror movie that WILL scare you.
I liked the end and I won't give it away. I will say there's an awful lot to explain about the end. For this reason I'm sure there will be a Ring III, AND because it was so good.
IMHO, I don't understand why this movie didn't get a higher rating. People who didn't like this movie don't like being really scared..
AND, IMHO, people who don't like to be scared shouldn't rate scary movies....:)
Squirm (1976)
Low-Budget But Better-Than-Average Schlock!
I don't mind low-budget movies if they either make me laugh or scare me. This actually did both.
It was a bit comical in the beginning with the bad acting, and the country cliché's, but if you got into it, it wasn't that bad.
Sometimes the worms looked like spaghetti noodles, sometimes they looked like rope with ketchup on them but they managed to make them move so it was okay.
There were some dumb moments too, like when the house breaks down and they don't run out of there right then and there, but you have to allow for that in low-budget horror. They have to fill up 45 more minutes, right? Anyway, the ending was cool. I don't want to give it away. If you like low-budget and better than average shlock you'll love this!~
The Grudge (2004)
Good Thriller
This movie was really scary. It kept me on the edge of my seat. It also had some good surprises in it. This house is more than haunted, its infested with demons.
It was a bit hard to follow especially in the beginning, but once I figured out which were the flashbacks and which were the present it got easier.
The part of the Japanese Police Detective could have been stronger, but all in all this movie was a spine-tingler. You'll find yourself throwing your popcorn over this one.
The ending is pretty good to, a bit cliché but I don't want to spoil it for you. Go rent it!
Saw (2004)
Best Horror I've Ever Seen.
Truly Horrifying. Scary as hell. I mean this seriously.
This movie is bizarre, well acted, well scripted, and thrilling. Its a mystery as well as a monster movie.
I've seen a lot of horror movies in my life and most of them don't scare me. This one was an exception.
It makes Jason and Freddie movies look like cartoons. (which by the way, they are!) If you like to be scared, you'll love it. Don't watch it with the lights out or if you are alone.
PS> It also has added benefit of allowing you to see the importance of your life no matter what your circumstances are!!!
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Rent Something Else!
I selected this movie because I wanted a comedy and it starred Bill Murray. I knew Bill was one of those laugh-every-30-seconds comedians so I wasn't expecting a lot but I was expecting some light-hearted entertainment.
What I got was a difficult to understand monologue of his adventures on a Jacques-Costeau-like movie set. Its no wonder the company he works for is going out of business, the movie shouldn't have been released. But what I do remember is the 5 of us watching this movie for over half an hour an No One Laughed!!!! It was tedious, difficult to understand and Not
Funny. Do yourself a favor, rent some other video.!!