Tedious movie to watch. Every minute drags on by the mere fact that the editing is so, so bad. The writing is flat and the characters are one-dimensional. The only redeeming quality may be the actors actually trying to deliver a good performance, but it hardly saves the movie from being terrible. It's self defeating. Every time a inspirational moment might have impact, they might add a bad, chick-flick montage scene of girls dressing, or a speech might have terrible synthesized audio giving weird vibes throughout the movie. The character inconsistencies can also be very jarring, especially in how it is edited. For instance, Alice Paul continues to insist she is a Quaker in order to avoid her relationship with a fictional reporter, but literally inter-cut within that scene where she refuses to kiss him she's seen lusting after him. Kind of a disservice to her supposed faith that's one of the excuses she uses for not getting together with him. A terrible mess of a film that makes watching suffragettes more like suffering.
Reviews
4 Reviews
It Happened One Night
(1934)
Gives Me Hope
10 June 2018
I will soon be riding a bus of my own sometime. If Clark Gable as Peter could find a rich young lady who could fall in love with his witty, charming, eccentric and sometimes rough around the edges personality, then maybe I can nab myself a girlfriend by the end of this trip. I just hope my experience lines up more with Peter's than that of Roscoe Karns' Shapely, but I'm not much of a talker like him, so I *should* be in the clear.
LEGO Marvel Super Heroes: Black Panther - Trouble in Wakanda
(2018 TV Short)
Like, what kids wanted from Avengers: Infinity War
10 June 2018
Basically a couple minutes of Thanos being a bad guy before being taken down. Then it's all Black Panther in Wakanda. Then it becomes Infinity War again before ending on a happy note. All the children who were bawling by the end of Infinity War would probably have wanted this to happen instead. After all, Black Panther was a huge hit, so rinse and repeat only adding a tiny bit of Avengers.
A Car's Life: Sparky's Big Adventure
(2006 Video)
Driving Around in Circles for Two Minutes
18 February 2017
Warning: Spoilers
This has spoilers. Do you care? I pray not, because if this movie can be spoiled for you, then help your soul, you're going to regret it.
There's really just so much nothingness to this movie. The story is about a rambunctious car-child called Sparky. His father has a hard time controlling him, and tells him he'll get in trouble if he doesn't start behaving, and he'd end up like his dead cousin's girlfriend, Diesel. Yes, for some reason, he has a dead cousin. It's really randomly dark. Ah, who cares? You sure won't after hearing the awful shrieking that is Sparky's girlfriend, Speedy. There's also Sparky's younger sister, Gracie, who is voiced by an actual child. The voice acting in this is awful, but everything sounds like child's play comparatively to Sparky's girlfriend, a pink nightmare. The movie then just hangs out at a gas station to conserve on animation of movement where we see the HILARIOUS antics of a car driving in circles for two minutes while everyone just kind of stares (except the pink one, who reminds you that there somehow IS a worst voice actor in this movie). Then Diesel shows up to cause Sparky to be even more disobedient. This eventually leads him and his girlfriend out in the open,when suddenly they bump into Diesel. Sparky, because the plot demands it, finds this suspicious (even though he's never been suspicious of her before), and thinks they should leave, but pink car says no. However, before they can go, they are captured by Diesel who kills cars for their scrap metal. She has the pink one slashed, again being randomly dark, and Sparky all of a sudden is smart and knows the moral. The father rescues him, and the villains are caught, and Sparky learns a lesson in why rules are important.
This movie is a nightmare. I'd rate it at a one, but the random dark moments are so amusing that I feel it gets a two just for how it made me laugh at those parts. Unfortunately, my favorite part, the pink car getting murdered, was a cop out and she actually lived somehow. Otherwise, the animation is dull, the movie is at the same, boring pace, and the... "Voice acting"... Will make you reconsider ever criticizing anyone's voice acting again. The humor it tries for is ultimately unsuccessful. The actual funny parts is how the story switches from child disobedience to crime mystery is the funniest part. It really comes out of nowhere.
The characters are boring.
Sparky: The child who never listens and makes you wish to never have children.
Dad: The dad, written like every dad character. He seems mean to his kid but he's only trying to protect him, of course.
Diesel: Really creepy woman-car who wants to kill people for their body parts. Sounds kid friendly.
Speedy: The ANNOYING girlfriend who advocates that every car, no matter how different, has feelings. So basically, a millennial, only this one has a voice to match the annoying qualities of what they teach.
Everyone else: I guess there's a gas pump that's someone to talk to the dad to reveal his dad feelings. There's Sparky's younger sibling, voiced by an actual child, and then there's Diesel's minions.
So, basically, every cookie-cutter stereotype for a kid's flick you could have. Only this is not suitable for children. It's a horror film that most adults are frightened by.
So, yeah, that's everything you want to know about what you oughtn't want to know. If you are one of the poor souls who must suffer this, my condolences.
There's really just so much nothingness to this movie. The story is about a rambunctious car-child called Sparky. His father has a hard time controlling him, and tells him he'll get in trouble if he doesn't start behaving, and he'd end up like his dead cousin's girlfriend, Diesel. Yes, for some reason, he has a dead cousin. It's really randomly dark. Ah, who cares? You sure won't after hearing the awful shrieking that is Sparky's girlfriend, Speedy. There's also Sparky's younger sister, Gracie, who is voiced by an actual child. The voice acting in this is awful, but everything sounds like child's play comparatively to Sparky's girlfriend, a pink nightmare. The movie then just hangs out at a gas station to conserve on animation of movement where we see the HILARIOUS antics of a car driving in circles for two minutes while everyone just kind of stares (except the pink one, who reminds you that there somehow IS a worst voice actor in this movie). Then Diesel shows up to cause Sparky to be even more disobedient. This eventually leads him and his girlfriend out in the open,when suddenly they bump into Diesel. Sparky, because the plot demands it, finds this suspicious (even though he's never been suspicious of her before), and thinks they should leave, but pink car says no. However, before they can go, they are captured by Diesel who kills cars for their scrap metal. She has the pink one slashed, again being randomly dark, and Sparky all of a sudden is smart and knows the moral. The father rescues him, and the villains are caught, and Sparky learns a lesson in why rules are important.
This movie is a nightmare. I'd rate it at a one, but the random dark moments are so amusing that I feel it gets a two just for how it made me laugh at those parts. Unfortunately, my favorite part, the pink car getting murdered, was a cop out and she actually lived somehow. Otherwise, the animation is dull, the movie is at the same, boring pace, and the... "Voice acting"... Will make you reconsider ever criticizing anyone's voice acting again. The humor it tries for is ultimately unsuccessful. The actual funny parts is how the story switches from child disobedience to crime mystery is the funniest part. It really comes out of nowhere.
The characters are boring.
Sparky: The child who never listens and makes you wish to never have children.
Dad: The dad, written like every dad character. He seems mean to his kid but he's only trying to protect him, of course.
Diesel: Really creepy woman-car who wants to kill people for their body parts. Sounds kid friendly.
Speedy: The ANNOYING girlfriend who advocates that every car, no matter how different, has feelings. So basically, a millennial, only this one has a voice to match the annoying qualities of what they teach.
Everyone else: I guess there's a gas pump that's someone to talk to the dad to reveal his dad feelings. There's Sparky's younger sibling, voiced by an actual child, and then there's Diesel's minions.
So, basically, every cookie-cutter stereotype for a kid's flick you could have. Only this is not suitable for children. It's a horror film that most adults are frightened by.
So, yeah, that's everything you want to know about what you oughtn't want to know. If you are one of the poor souls who must suffer this, my condolences.
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