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Reviews
Ted Lasso: (I Don't Want to Go to) Chelsea (2023)
There is no way those 10 star reviews are real
My wife and I have watched season 1 and 2 maybe 3 times.
We watched the first episode of season 3 and then went back and watched the first two seasons again. The show is fantastic.
Season 3 episode one was kind of tame and lame. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't good by any stretch.
We watched episode 2 of season 3 this morning and it was terrible.
Whoever wrote it gave the vibe of "Ted Lasso? That's a pretty typical whacky sitcom right? Sure, I can write that."
Jokes that repeated and never died, intentional dumb confusion about situations and words, a lot of toilet humor and juvenile jokes.
New storylines that seem cringe, predictable and not needed.
Just awful.
I feel like this going to be like Game of Thrones season 8 based on the first two episodes of this season.
The Time Traveler's Wife: Episode #1.6 (2022)
More bad changes
The first 4 episodes expanded on scenes in the book or added new things that were interesting and touching. In this episode, they shorten dramatic moments from the book and make them worse. Robbing them of dramatic tension and cleverness.
The Time Traveler's Wife: Episode #1.5 (2022)
Changes for the worse
This episode starts to change things for the worse. Significant changes from the book that detract from the story. Mark is not how anyone would picture him from the book. Uncomfortably tense scenes that just linger in awfulness.
The Time Traveler's Wife (2022)
It's a great story, wrapped around a great premise, and now it's a great series.
(This started as a 10 star review and has been changed to a 6 based on episode 4 and 5 and the direction the series appears to be going.)
Watching episode two which I paused to write this. Episode one is nothing unexpected. It is very well done and I liked it. In episode two, things are expanded a little bit. Scenes that might have been a paragraph might be half an hour. Explanations are now shown, not told. And right now, there is a scene making me tear up that I do not remember from the book. So, they are adding content, I think, but they are doing it 100% in the vein and feeling of the book.
The book holds a special place in my heart. The movie was a disappointment because it focuses so much on all the heartbreak and miscarriages.
For me, this series captures the feel and magic of the book.
As another reviewer said, I hope they do nine seasons. I am of the same mind. I just want to live here for a while. I hope they expand the story into his daughter and her adventurers.
Its a great story, wrapped around a great premise, and now it's a great series.
Edited review - Episodes 1-4 were great. I am fine with some changes being made to the source material, especially when I want them to add more and to keep the series running. I am not fine with them changing the source material for the worse. Episode 5 and 6 both do this, and for unfathomable reasons. I don't even know if I can finish episode sxix is so bad. Episode 5 was a struggle and focuses on uncomfortable situations that you can't wait to end, and they don't. They just drag on and on and on. If I wanted to watch "the Office" I would. And I don't.
Episode 6 starts with more bad changes. They ruin the tension and reason of the house buying scene and then ruin the lottery scene, making both minor and dumb and not fun at all.
The movie started out well and then focused all its energy on miscarriages, beatings, tragedy, and sadness. This series looks to be going in the same direction, taking fun scenes from the book and ruining them.
I'm lowering the rating to 5. Because now they have gotten rid of many good scenes with his friend, the pharmacist. They are making changes that might make sense if they had to end the series as soon as possible. The early episodes were great, these last two have been garbage and cut out important parts of the book.
Episode 6 is more of the same. Rating down to 4. They make major changes to the book, they throw continuity out the window, and they have rushed to the end where all the miscarriages happen and all the fighting.
If you're just going to make the same mistakes the movie did, why even bother with this?
Henry tells Henry things that he never would have told him in the book, he gives him information that would alter Henry's reaction to current events, and now older Henry does not believe they will ever have a child.
Except younger Henry, the same Henry, knows they will.
The scene with his friend who has aids, was a touching, emotional, heavy scene in the book. Here, it is a throwaway line with zero impact.
Claire gives a depressing speech about how marriage isn't about making each other happy and there is a clumsy attempt to say Claire always wants another Henry.
This is like bad fan fiction of the novel at this point.
I cannot even imagine what they are going to do for a second season now.
Not a fan.
The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window (2022)
Who thought this would work?
I love Kristen Bell and I was excited for this. But it is a pretty good collection of things I hate in television right now.
Based on the title, and a few of the gags, you would think this a farce. It is not supposed to be taken seriously. And that is completely true, except when it isn't, which is always.
I'm not sure why they thought it would be possible to combine cringe embarrassing humor, a farcical take on thrillers, and try to be an actual thriller all at the same time.
Imagine if you combined Caddy Shack with Friday the 13th and the Office. Would you laugh while Bill Murray got eviscerated and screamed for mercy and blood went all over his tool shed? Would be on the edge of your seat if Kristin Bell brought her famous chili into the office and spilled it all over everything, except, actually, there is no office, there is no chili, and she's in a k-mart in her bathrobe hallucinating?
I don't know how they thought this would work, but it doesn't.
Ted Lasso: Inverting the Pyramid of Success (2021)
Did D&D write this?
That was a very poorly written season finale. Just clunky with poorly written resolutions and logic.
I feel like D&D (Game of Thrones) wrote it. It was very similar to season 8 in the sense that they went for big scenes with zero emotional impact.
Unlike some people, I loved this season. I thought season 2 was better than season 1. I've watched the Christmas episode 4 times. It started out a little slow but then picked up to being fantastic right up until the disappointing final episode.
Roy renting a house for six weeks without checking if that was a good idea with Keeley.
Nate's blow up at Ted was just nonsensical yelling that mostly didn't make sense.
The billionaire having a huge temper tantrum.
Nate turning around at the end being all dramatic.
The entire episode was all sound and fury signifying nothing. Big scenes that felt forced and not well written. I mean, that episode was so bad it makes it much easier to wait for season 3.
Superman & Lois (2021)
Thanks for this WB
"Superman and Lois" is the best representation of Superman since Christopher Reeves. I love the actors, the plot lines, the special effects, the fight scenes.. All are really good.. The writing is too much teen drama, and the logic fails sometimes, but it's a really great show. That gets better every episode.
I admit, there are some episodes that are just beyond bad, but they are few. And after the complete disaster of anything having to do with Superman in the Snyderverse, this is a badly needed breath of fresh air.
Superman's optimism, his can do attitude, his folksy Kansas upbringing and always believing the best of everyone is on full display here.
For a long time superman fan, I'll take what I can get, and parts of this are perfect.
The Nevers (2021)
The show is a beautiful train wreck
The actors and set pieces are fantastic, which is what the 3 is for.
The rest of seems to be written by a hyperactive high school student with ADD.
There is way too much going on, way too many plot threads, way too many characters and not enough depth.
Everything about this show needs to slow down and trim the fat. Get rid of the pimp that opens a brothel specializing in touched prostitutes' both male and female. Stop spending so much time on the machinations of Lavinia Bidlow and the council and Maladie. Pick one. Make the others shadows or hints of things to come.
Its all over the place and distracting and rarely fun. There are times when someone does something and you are surprised because the show thinks you know what this person's touched power is and you don't. There are plot points that happen that reference things that might have gotten a mention 3 episodes ago, or never. There are plots that make zero sense to anyone sane.
"The government is stirring up hatred for the Touched, so we have to be on a guard." Probably the best way to do that is to save, from punishment, a known mass murderer who is touched. Yes, lets associate ourselves with her and once she is rescued just bring her into the fold and let her live in the house with us? Is that the plan? Because the police surely won't prosecute you for taking someone from their custody. I'm sure that will work out well for you.
What are the back stories of even 3 of these characters? They all float in and out of scenes and we know them not at all. We know some of them by their powers and very little by their character and personality.
Its nice to look at, the actors are all wonderful, but its just too busy and all over the place and very little logic to the actions of everyone.
Jupiter's Legacy (2021)
Perfect adaption so far
Jupiter's Legacy. There are some brutal reviews here, but a lot of good, sane ones too.
"The costumes look terrible." You know, they don't look terrible. They look real. Like they're made out of cloth not spandex/lycra/polymer/plastic that no one would actually wear but, admittedly, look fantastic in Marvel movies. In fact, one of my greatest knocks on the Watchmen movie was the costumes looked like Marvel costumes and the fighting was slick and hyper violent. And if you understood "Watchmen" neither of those things were right. Part of the point of that book was the fights were street brawls, not choreographed symphonies of violence. And in the comics, the costumes in Watchmen had seams and loose threads just to highlight that.
So, I'm glad with the way the costumes look.
I'm only 30 minutes into it and I already love the absolutely perfect depiction of this world's Superman who is lost in the modern world. Completely disillusioned by his children and things happening around him that he doesn't want to understand, still believing in the truth and goodness of humanity but disappointed on a daily basis, his morals and code not outdated, but just ignored. And his kids... how do you live up to Superman? You can't. No one can. So far I think it captures the comic perfectly.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
What a mess
The opening scene of Diana as a young girl was good.
Everything after that was a train wreck.
The "villain" literally says "I wish I was the magic stone."
Not an exact quote but what he wished for and how they phrased it, the moron should have turned into the stone. He literally should have become the stone.
If you can't even write at a fifth grade level don't write. Hire a professional.
The lasso was just ridiculous. It was more powerful than Wonder Woman, stretchier than a rubber band with no limit to it's length and a living thing with a mind of it's own with no continuity regarding the comics.
The first fight scene in the mall, a whole ten minutes into the movie shows you they don't give one fig about making this a serious movie like the first. The entire thing as slap dash slapstick with zero logic throughout the rest of the movie.
We made it 59 minutes into the movie before giving up in disgust. This is a poorly written slap in the face to the first movie and it's fans.
Away (2020)
None of the enormous budget went to the writers.
I checked out when Hilary Swank comes into an airlock from walking on the moon, shuts the door and takes her helmet off immediately and starts breathing.
If you can't be bothered to learn how an airlock works, in a show about space, I can't be bothered to continue watching.
The show has been canceled and will not be reviewed for a second season. I am not shocked.
The Alienist (2018)
Nonsensical scenes kill the immersion
The cinematography is great, some of the actors are good, it's a high quality production. That's the good. Almost everything else about this show is bad.
Like, the ladyboy prostitutes.
There is literally a scene where a character says "We've shut down all the other ladyboy brothels in NY, so there's only this one left for the killer to strike at!"
Sorry, How many ladyboy brothels do you think there were in NYC in 1896?
I'm guessing ZERO.
Is this wish fulfillment, shock value, or just terrible, terrible writing?
hint - it's terrible writing.
They use a decoy, a kid who is not an actual prostitute and looks unconvincing and uncomfortable the whole time is not going to fool the killer. Plus, he stands around never approaching anyone and wishes the whole thing would end. Why not just use one of the already willing to help the police boy prostitutes?
Also, the signal that he needs help will be to "polish one shoe against the back of his pants."
Because, you know, when you're stationed on a rooftop, across the street, looking DOWN at a crowded street, that won't be just impossible to see or anything.
While standing on the roof, one spotter tells the other spotter to "Watch the light" referring to him lighting his cigarette.
Oh, I'm sorry, are we on the front line in a war now and you're worried a Nazi sniper is going to see the light and fire at you? He says this twice, as if the street below them doesn't have street lights lit and anyone on the street looking for a boy prostitute is going to look up and scan the building roofs to make sure no one is watching him? And two male figures leaning over and watching people won't tip him off but the match will?
A guy opens a door on the roof and comes out. One detective goes chasing after him shouting "Are you looking for a child prostitute!!! What are you doing up here?!!?"
I don't know, hanging laundry, having a cigarette, looking out over the city, getting some fresh air? Maybe one of those things? I sure as hell am not up on a roof looking for a boy prostitute since they're all on the street below, but sure, punch my lights out for now reason.
The lack of good writing and logic goes on and on and on like that in every single episode.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
This is my reactions while watching. Major Spoilers
I have never seen this movie. I thought I would live blog it.
Spoilers if you haven't seen it. And here we go.
Jim Carey is great. I love him in serious roles. I totally believe that he is a quiet just outside the norm guy.
Is that Kate Blanchett? Somehow I thought this was one of the twins - Natalie Portman or Keira Knightly. She looks great. Young. And I totally believe she is crazy.
Yeah, I don't believe in their first meeting when she is talking to him he would say "I have to get back to my writing." I just don't. But minor.
Okay. No I would leave. She is crazy.
Good call Jim. Erase that number off your hand!
And you didn't.
"Can I sleep at your house? Let me just get my toothbrush. "Drive Joel, Drive!"
That is the cutest Kirsten Dunst has ever looked. Even counting the cheerleader movie.
This is a procedure for very weak people.
This is trippy in a very cool way. The dissolving memories as they work on him. I'm sure this would be much more confusing if I didn't already know the basic gist that they keep finding each other and then erasing over and over. Is there more to it than that? We'll see I guess.
Creepy hobbit stalker stealing panties and telling Dr Banner. Nice.
"Constantly talking is not actually communicating." - Well, I totally agree with that.
Okay, this has been trippy for a long time now. We get it you're hanging out in his apartment erasing memories and he's reliving them and they're disappearing, but this has been going on for a long time...
I feel like I'd doing video game chores in real life by watching this. Like, I've never seen it. And its one of those movies I've heard so much about, and felt like I should see it? But this is rapidly losing it's appeal. But I have to keep grinding my dailies and finish it.
So, Bring it on and the Hulk are now dancing on his bed in their underwear.
And now it's all gone up and he's a child under a table and comatose.
I see now. This isn't going to stop. It's a journey through his memories showing why he is the way he is. Interesting.
Okay the scene where he is being bathed in the sink as a baby/full grown Joel, that's pretty awesome.
Trying to hide her in his most embarrassing memories.
Why is Bring it On hitting on the old doctor?
This is making me.... And she's kissing him.. What the...?
And now the wife is there? WHAT IS GOING ON?
"Oh you poor girl, you can have him. You did."
Wait... Oh God...
OMG! OMG! He erased her memory! OMG!
And now we're seeing when they (Joel and Clementine) really first met.
Breaking into a beach house for the night, and the house is slowly crumbling, so cool.
Sometimes its about expectations. I expected them to meet, erase, meet, erase, meet erase and its not that at all. It's a journey of his choices and life and memories and regrets. Choices he made with her.
"I came down the stairs and you were gone."
I left. I walked out the door. I was scared. I was like a scared little kid.
I wish I'd stayed. I do.
I wish I'd stayed...
"Was it something I said?"
Yeah. You said "So go." With such disdain.
And she's gone. And now we're back to the start.
OMG. Kirsten sent them tapes of their memories.
Cool cool, where the.. is this going...
Sad ending...?
Kinda hope it doesn't end like this.
And Hobbit's out too.
Now he's listening as she walks in.
"Library. It's pronounced Library."
OMG turn off the tape already!
Why is the tape still running?
Turn off the tape Joel! For the love of God turn off the tape!
Please stay. The movie hinges on a happy ending...
Thank God.
Once I let go of my preconceived notions of what was going to happen I really liked it.
That was right in my wheelhouse.
Will watch again.
10/10
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
If you love Eurovision
If you have never seen Erovision or been to a Eurovision party, you will think this movie is terrible.
Same if you have, but just don't like Eurovision.
If you love the cheesy song contest that is stuck in big hair rock power ballads of the 80s, then you know this movie is a love letter to Eurovision and is extremely well done.
Living with Yourself (2019)
Couples drama, very little comedy
This is about a schlub of a guy who isn't making anyone happy.
His wife isn't happy with him and she sets up a profile on a dating site.
His work isn't happy with him and he's doing a crap job at it.
He's not happy with himself either so literally no one is happy in this show.
Oh, there's also a clone thing going on but that's a very minor part of the show. Very minor.
It's a bit confusing as they decide to tell the story with multiple flashbacks and "how we got here was that this happened before, but you're not seeing it until now."
Overall, it's a show about a couple who are having trouble. They're trying to concieve but Paul keeps skipping his appointments and pretty much seems like a waste of space for a human being.
This could have been an exploration of a number of things. Not wasting your life and being your best self, seeing the wasted potential and making changes, how this affects your marriage. It could have been about how having another you makes work easier but adds another mouth to feed. It could have been about polyamory and how bringing someone new into a relationship affects the core relationship, especially when the new person is better than one of the primary partners.
But it's not any of those things.
It's a wife and husband struggling to have a kid, the husband being useless and how things are falling apart for them. Overall, it's depressing with wasted potential from a great idea that goes nowhere.
I quit on episode six because I couldn't take it any more.
Watchmen (2019)
Brilliant
Watchmen short review:
When someone associated with "Lost" does 4 episodes of crazy stuff you assume the crazy is going nowhere and is going to be bad.
Not in this case. Everything that happens from beginning to end actually had purpose and reason behind it.
It all added up. It all came together.
Episode 4 to 5 things start to pull together with great story telling and reveals.
It was great.
It was fantastic. Damon Lidelhoff has clearly read and loved the source material. It was the best continuation of the Watchmen story that has been done. And there are many.
In case you're wondering Dr Manhattans motivations and actions are 100% consistent with the way the character was written by Alan Moore. Yes, an omnipotent God like detached being would act the way he did for an attractive woman and he always has. And yes, he has always been unable to change events that seem simple for him to change by taking action. The flow of time is immutable for him.
This might be frustrating at times but it is 100% consistent with the creator's vision.
Highly recommended. Two thumbs way up.
Mr. Mercedes (2017)
Why do screenwriters think they can do it better than King?
This is an abomination of the book.
In the book, Hodges is retired and grumpy but a good man at heart. In this, he is so unlikable that it's ruining the story for me. He's not just a grumpy old man he's a mean and stupid drunk that drinks way more than he did in the book.
The book starts with Hodges bored and contemplating suicide. He lives alone has nothing going on in his life, and no, he doesn't have a pet turtle. What the hell? He is friend's with Jerome and would never throw a can at him or talk the way the TV Hodges does.
Hodges gets new life when the Mercedes killer contacts him. He stops drinking, he exercises, he gets more positive. Life has meaning again.
NOT IN THIS SHOW!
You don't care for Hodges. He's a mean old drunk which no redeeming qualities.
They change the book to add antagonists, a love interest, change major character's personalities, and even the ending.
Why?
To fit some tired and rote 80's formulae?
If you have the hubris to think you're a better writer than King you are sadly mistaken.
Good job ruining one the best King trilogies.
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
The last six episodes are garbage.
An open letter to Weiss and Benioff:
You have ruined a great franchise and spoiled the enjoyment it brought to millions of people.
You have ruined any future rewatches of this great epic with your poor choices and decision to focus on spectacle over substance.
You have taken a redemptive story arc and made the entire journey worthless, unsatisfying and mute.
You have made loyal people treasonous for no logical reason.
You have taken smart characters and made them idiots for the sake of shock and awe.
You have taken good characters and good armies and made them evil for the same purpose.
You have taken strong, worthy characters and turned them into vengeful petty girls because a man rejected them.
You have given unsatisfying, even poisonous endings to villains who the viewers demanded be brought to justice, only to have them escape humiliation, justice, retribution or even to feel bad for their evil acts in any way.
You have made once great characters petty, stupid, vindictive, shallow and even forced them to say petty, stupid, vindictive and shallow things to each other so that we are left with almost no one to cheer for at the end. We literally no longer even care what happens to these shells of these once great characters.
You have forced your fantasy escapist viewers to watch a 45 minute montage of a city being bombed and innocent people being killed. All the while wondering if the destruction was ever going to finally end and we could get back to the story.
You have made weapons be omnipotent in one episode and completely ineffective in the next using no semblance of logic and reason.
You have made armies supposedly the best in the land ineffective and cowardly for no logical reason.
You have made dragon fire be unable to get to a main character who is hiding behind a rock in one episode, then able to concuss with the force of a bunker-busting bomb in a future episode.
You have told us an entire tribe of people was wiped out in one episode only to be miraculously resurrected in the next. And grow even larger in the final episode!
You have killed the joy of this series, killed the chance to ever recommend or share it with future generations, and slaughtered the replay value of what was once a great epic.
You have, literally, killed get-togethers and parties for the end of the show. Who wants to gather with friends to watch the last episode of what has become a depressing train wreck?
My wife and I watched the last episode a night after it aired. We were going to have a big party with friends but after episode one of season eight, that was in doubt. After episode three we knew that wasn't going to happen.
The only good thing about S08E06 was that this travesty is finally over.
Go wreck star Wars now you hacks.