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nathanaelhorn
Reviews
The Witcher: The Art of the Illusion (2023)
Bridgeton meets Witcher
I'm sure whoever got the opportunity to write this episode was more of a fan of Bridgeton than the Witcher... 20 minutes of ballroom dancing and gossiping, then some slapstick clumsiness, flashbacks to Gerald and Yen in bed reminiscing about past parties... No one who started watching the Witcher was ever going to be excited about this.. The season so far has been so boring and nothing has gotten the viewer excited or invested to look forward to the next episode... It is a gossip girl style episode with vixen thirsting over Gerald in a fancy costume... The entire party is supposedly to gather information but it's just a boring mess that gets repeated from the start after 20 minutes...
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Beautiful rehash of the first movie
If you planned on watching the first movie before watching this one. Don't as you'll enjoy it less. In a nutshell, it's a beautiful movie but as so much nowadays, the story is lacking and is almost exactly the same as the first movie, with the difference that they are out of the woods and into the water. Also, if you enjoy animals telepathically asking "how are the kids doing", this is something for you. If you like unbelievable plot armor, this is something for you, if you like a huge military investment that revolves around revenge and involves very lame bad guys, this is for you, if you want to see how amazing and perfect CGI has become, this is also for you.
Amsterdam (2022)
Boring and long.
The trend of these type of movies has only brought really boring unoriginal movies. I feel like after knives out, which I enjoyed, every movie since that fell under the same category, was extremely boring. Just like this one, just like murder on the orient and death on the Nile, all so boring and unoriginal. It's like the story they are trying to tell would fit in a 40 minute movie and they are trying to stretch it in 2 hours. It's probably much better as a book, but as a movie it's so long winded and every scene takes so long to go through, you end up not even caring about the plot anymore because you're just waiting for it to be over.
Wrath of Man (2021)
Best Jason Statham movie to date.
The grim dark atmosphere, the build up, the multiple story plots, the twists and cold blooded performance and the script was all top notch.
Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)
All the bad reviews look like bots...
This was a great movie! Full of suspense, great acting, good plot and very mature writing. I usually don't like kids in movies as they always come hand in hand with cliches but here it's done really really well! Overall really good movie.
6 Underground (2019)
It's ok. But it felt like this was the draft...
Could've been much better, a lot of inconsistencies, a few examples:
1. they lose a driver and talk about needing a replacement so they pick a sniper.
2. They speak about a code that you have to follow when you're a ghost; everyone breaks the code. (Family visits, leave behind those that fall behind)
3. It's all over the place, I love that it's taking place all over the world but it doesn't tie in nicely.
4. Attack on the boat happens during day time and suddenly turns into nighttime
5. Music is a hit and miss, it's not hard to get it right but they never tune the mood with the music properly.
6. Villain is an amazing actor but was underused and poorly written
7. We get backstories on all the characters but they feel irrelevant
8. Bombs are placed in a lot of places but no one seems to notice and how did they do that so fast?
9. Fastest Civil uprising I've ever seen in a movie. Someone shouts revolution and 15 minutes laters they have banners and marches through the streets?
10. What kind of a safe house is a boat full of guests that can just come and go as they please, no one has security checks?
11. It's their second mission and they talk about how they were the best of the best but their plans and execution is really lacking and fails
12. Ryan didn't even think they'd make it as far as getting on the boat yet the plan was to stage a coup?
A lot of other stuff...
But I kind of enjoyed the movie, just felt like a Netflix movie again...
Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)
Didn't meet expectations, try hard.
Here's why (without spoilers)
The plot doesn't make sense. Person X does something without any clear motive, while it becomes more and more obvious that this was the dumbest choice of action yet it decided the entire faith of the next 2 hours... Then the solution is going someplace really illogical when recourses 1000 times better are available to fix the problem but for the sake of "family" the choice is made to do something illogical which decides the faith of the second part of the movie... Then the acting, it's ok, but the comedic relief was never spot on, it was always a bit off... Just try hard and it felt more like I was looking at a cinematic version of The Rocks Instagram. I mean, I love The Rock, but I came for an over the top crazy movie, instead I got a somewhat crazy movie with failed lines, jokes and abnormal plot continuations.
Imagine aquaman, but less Chinese influenced, with jokes that aren't bad but aren't good either and music that's good instead of really weird
Mr. Iglesias (2019)
Comedy that's so dumbed down that it's cringe
I get that this show is not aimed towards the European style humor, but if this is the direction all comedies on Netflix turn to, I hope we get a better alternative soon...
Aquaman (2018)
One of the better DCU movies but far from great
Let me start out by mentioning this movie Was visually stunning, but lacked a lot when it came to good back stories and villain motivation.
First of all, the cool looks and lame jokes in the beginning of the movie are way too forced
There are two villains frog man and the Atlantians that want to destroy the earth dwellers... The motivation of the frog men to kill aquaman is not at all explained and then they give you the simple reason that aquaman declined to save his father ... Let's take a look at why he didn't save him...
1. Criminal daught in the act
2. Aquaman first showed mercy after getting blasted by an explosive bullet
3. Decided to let him die after he threw a grenade at aquaman when he was on his way out, then died because the submarine collapsed on himself...
Ok, Atlantis people never even tried to negotiate the end of sea pollution or prove their presence to the earth dwellers so their motivation to attack is not at all reasonable since earth dwellers have no idea they are harming an entire civilization of humanoids...
Lastly, there are so many inconsistencies and bending of logic that it all feels very forced and set up...
It's an entertaining movie with stunning visuals, but it's not a good movie and it lacked an overarching score like the one in the MCU.
Oh and what the hell was the Rocky training montage scene where Frog man builds his suit? That was so cringe... To be honest almost all the music in this movie was cringe..
Lastly, what did the FBI agent from ant man do in the DCU? He's even gonna be in the sequel?!
Westworld: Phase Space (2018)
Don't forget, we are 6 hours into a TV Show
The problem I have with Westworld this season is that nothing is happening, I had the same problem with the first seasons but the novelty, grandeur and story was new and untold. In this one, we follow the story line of a mother looking for her daughter, this could've been covered already were it a 2 hour movie, in a marvelous way, but in Westworld they keep dragging this on for way too long. The other story lines are also way to uneventful. The way we get from point A to point B is too boring and insignificant up to this point. If you are going to introduce a plot that points to the direction of hosts escaping the park and a mother looking for her daughter, at least make the journey there interesting, this however isn't the case in this season of Westworld.
The Walking Dead: Do Not Send Us Astray (2018)
So many unrealistic mistakes were made
It amazes me that after all this time, the widow of anyone else for that matter, makes so many mistakes like not even putting a guard out near the pen or not shooting the saviors when they were all bundled together rather than allowing them to pan out... Horrible
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
A bland movie with an obvious Chinese influence
Don't watch this movie. It's a waste of time, there's nothing that really hooks you or gets you excited. It's very generic, bland and lacks a funny, intriguing, exciting and compelling factor. The CGI gets a lot of praise but to be honest, I don't like it. It's sub-par compared to the mix of costumes/props/CGI that some of the big blockbusters use to make their elements pop more and look more real. Even movies like Jurassic Park, based on props, are more compelling to watch due to the fact that they didn't use CGI but instead used mechanical dolls that to this day looked more real than the CGI in Jurassic world. For that reason, I do not agree that the CGI here is worth taking a look at. Also, the Chinese factor is very obvious for someone who has been living in China for 2 years and is deeply disturbing because it's just too much... I'm pretty sure the animators were also Chinese due to the look of the characters and especially the animals (aliens) in the movie. Also, the part where Valerian gets shot by a little baby monster called "Da" (meaning big, in Chinese) Is probably a wordplay joke aimed towards Chinese audiences as Valerian suddenly finds himself facing the "Da" mother of the little monster, meaning the "Big" mommy.
The Walking Dead: The First Day of the Rest of Your Life (2017)
This season/series has become what all big budget TV shows have become...a lousy cash cow...
This season was so predictable and following the meta of building up to the season finale without including exciting plot changing moments during the episodes following up to the finale... It is really bullshit what most TV shows and most notably the walking dead has become... They are all just trying to put in as little creative effort to keep the one big splash for the last episode to then put in a poor cliffhanger worthy of being a mid-season-episode at the most just so they can suck more money out of the show...