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Reviews
Streamers (1983)
Total bore....
The producer/writer/director who thought that a two-hour movie of relentless talk between gay soldiers (or crypto-gay)confined in the barracks is entertaining must have been out of his mind. I failed to understand the purpose of this film or the motivations of the principal characters, in order to sympathize with them. Somewhere between the lines there must be a message about tolerance and indiscrimination but it never comes through. Instead we are forced to watch 3-4 people beating around the bush in the same room, without any coherence or plot. The climax (when it finally comes) appears completely unnatural and unjustified, making me feel that the makers of this film were desperately trying to find a spectacular ending. Probably this script could have worked better as a theatrical play (although I still have doubts). Avoid to watch, absolutely worthless and outdated.
A.A.A. Massaggiatrice bella presenza offresi... (1972)
For giallo addicts only...
Lame giallo for hardcore fans only. Upper class girl Cristina Graziani decides to leave home and get away from her restrictive father, only to become a prostitute, albeit a high-class one thanks to the efforts of a dandy pimp named Oscar. As one might expect, soon everyone of her clients drops dead by a dark figure in trenchcoat and hat (and of course the killings are made with a razorblade - quite typical in giallo films). Demofilo Fidani is known as a hack director and he proves just that. No rhythm, no suspense, nothing spectacular about the killings and actually nobody seems to mind that much (not even Cristina). To complete the picture, no red herrings are used in this film and the disclosure of the killer's identity comes as no surprise. As I said earlier, no reason to see this flick, except for giallo-addicts.
Dracula 3D (2012)
A Smear to his name
This time the verdict should be unanimous: Dario Argento has definitely lost it. Yes, that certain touch that made him stand apart among his contemporaries and even earned him comparisons with A.Hitchcock, is nowhere present and it makes you wonder even if it really existed at all. If I haven't read his name at the credits, I would have thought that is a third rate made-for-home-video production that teeters on the end of absurdity before actually falling. From the very start, one has to bear the terrible cgi effects, the indifference of the actors ("I know this movie is crap, but hey, I could use the dough"), the lack of rhythm and the lethargic direction, if there is one. Let alone the fact, that we're still have to bear another unsuccessful acting venture of his daughter and an awful dubbing. Why on earth should Argento retell the Dracula story in a very limited budget (as it shows), while he could use the money into an entirely original idea? The answer is anyone's guess, I can only say from my part, that maybe he wanted to surprise us with the use of a praying mantis, probably a leftover from a 1950s sci-fi movie, which, as you can expect, made every spectator burst into uncontrollable laughter. I know that all you Argento's followers will see this one, despite all the condemning reviews, just don't pay any money and of course be prepared for a total waste of your time. As for Dario, he should really consider putting an end to his directorial career, because "movies"like this dismal failure only further damage the reputation of a director that has "Profondo Rosso"and "Suspiria" in his back catalogue. He really hit the bottom of the barrel this time...
Zi'ab la ta'kol al lahm (1973)
Amateurish and boring..
Don't be fooled by the storyline given by IMDb, sad to admit that I was, though. The movie is amateurish, to say the least, even by '70s standards and I'm sure that even Jess Franco could do it better. The story makes no sense at all, beginning as an action flick, turning into a love story halfway and somehow managing to incorporate a shootout for the finale. It also features the unbelievable scene where Anwar enters a party, stumbles half-dead in the living room, but the lady of the house continues her oriental dance, without blinking an eye, although as it later turns out, she was his lover in the near past!! Not mentioning the totally unacceptable "disguise" of the old lady!! Only thing positive the "assets"of Nahed Sheriff, otherwise yawning from start to finish.
Katarsis (1963)
A Horrendous Mess rather than a horror film..
This film must be one of the most difficult C.Lee's movies to find and I was (un)lucky to see it in an after midnight screening in an open-air cinema under the title "La Sfida Al Diavolo".It follows the story of a group of teenagers who like wild parties and wind up stranded in a castle in which C.Lee appears as the castle keeper dressed in medieval style. Meanwhile, a subplot involves a suitcase and a spy ring and guess what, Lee appears again dressed in suit! I can't remember much, (it's been 10 years or so), but the overall impression was that this movie was destined for wider audiences (for example, there's a scene in a nightclub where singer Isabella Ianetti sings "t'hanno visto domenica sera"!!) and somehow the scenes in the castle were added afterwards. The plot is incomprehensible and totally absurd, Lee has very little screen time and from time to time the viewer has to suffer a ludicrous voice-over! The few people in the theater were laughing all the time, since no one could take seriously this movie. I myself, thought it was a horrendous mess, however, I certainly would like to see it once more, for collector's sake.