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Reviews
The Revenant (2009)
Neither funny nor scary, but watchable
I don't really know why this is labeled as a horror comedy when it's neither funny nor scary. And that's not me trying to be clever or saying that only my kind of humor is comedy worthy. There's a lot of movies that aren't funny which I would still labeled as a comedy, just because it at least tries to be. But The Revenant doesn't really do that. Sure, it has it's (kinda) funny moments, but so has Titanic, and I wouldn't refer to Titanic a comedy. Titanic is actually scarier as well, now when I think about it. Maybe you should just skip this one and rent Titanic instead.
It is watchable though, and the makeup and effects are really well done, to be fair. And the acting isn't horrible. Storywise, it's a little slow in the beginning, and far too long. But I sat put 'til the end, and anything you'll watch 'til the credits deserves at least a 5/10. And that's what this is. Nor good or bad. Just, okay.
Sublime (2007)
A sublime piece of _s h i t_ is what it is.
This is NOT horror. I repeat, this is NOT horror. Sure, it's a horrific situation for poor George, but the film isn't scary. Not even a little, at any time. And I don't say this to be "cool". I'm saying this as a fan of horror movies that makes you wanna crap your pants just so you'll get an excuse to leave your seat. I'm not gonna drop names, but if you like 'em you know which flicks I'm talking about. I would say it's a dramatic thriller. No, wait, I would actually say it's a snooze-fest, but the genre is dramatic thriller. You don't really care about the drama, but it's there. Pretty poor acting to. I loved Thomas Cavanagh as Ed, but here he's just some sweaty guy with a problem.
SPOILER. It's not really a spoiler, but I just don't wanna get blacklisted.
Thought about giving it a four, but I just couldn't find any good reason. It stole two hours of my life, so a three is actually kind of generous. I was hoping for a cool twist at the end which would make the whole movie worth the wait.. but I'm still waiting.