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DocSawbones
Reviews
Kill Teaser (2018)
This... sure was a movie
It's just downright unpleasant. When it's not a nauseating, graphic rape scene, it's just boring as hell. The effects weren't great, but it's a low budget movie so I won't get too upset about that. I will say though, no offense to the others, but Will Wood was the best actor in the movie.
Slender Man (2018)
Slenderman Is Crunchy and This Sucked Hard
I have a lot of feelings about this movie, mostly because Slenderman-related horror is a main interest of mine, and as a writer myself. It wasn't ALL bad, it was nice to see it go back to the original story, by having Slenderman hunt after vulnerable children, and the acting wasn't awful. Hell, even Slenderman itself didn't look too bad, but dear god I was disappointed.
The characters were flat and disappointing, with little to no development throughout the movie. The dialogue was ridiculous, with its feeble attempt at connecting to other Slenderman horror series through the "It's like a computer virus but the computer hardware is your brain" line. Especially when the virus connection has been made before, but through the physical sickness way. It would've been perfectly fine to reference MLAndersen0 or Marble Hornets by calling it a sickness or something like that. Some of the way the scenes were filmed made me think they had a GoPro attached to a selfie stick on their stomachs.
I'm mostly upset with how Slenderman was portrayed, as it is the main villain and focus of this movie. Its appearance was fine, it looked nice, whatever. But... why was it crunchy? When its tendrils would move, there were crunching and cracking sounds. The way it was "summoned" into the movie was pathetic, a video? Really? Who's idea was it to make Slenderman walk? It ruined the horror factor of it, because it just looked downright silly. To quote my friend's opinion on that, he said, "Slenderman has effeminate hips." Also, why did it clip through the houses like this is a poorly rendered G-Mod map? Why did it video call the main characters? Why, why why?!
To close this off, I want to mention a line that was downright insensitive. In the end scene, the younger girl says, "Messed up people doing messed up things, to make more stories to talk about" which is a very obvious connection to the stabbings that happened a long while ago. Which is... pretty yikes, to say the least. Why do people keep on bringing it up? Do you really want that poor girl to relive her trauma?