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Blood & Orchids (1986 TV Movie)
5/10
This movie is farcical. ***SPOILERS AHEAD***
30 August 2007
Warning: Spoilers
After watching this movie I wanted more info. Wiki to the rescue. This movie couldn't have been FURTHER from the truth. Read it for yourselves. Almost everything is revised or "tailored" for convenience and marketability. Many things irked me but pay particular attention to the fact that Thalia committed suicide (as in the movie) but she did it in 1963 on the mainland. Not in her mother's shower after the trial! AND WHO THE HELL IS POLICE CAPTAIN CURTIS MADDOX? And there was a shooting, but NOT IN THE COURTROOM. Purely sensational. Mr. Katkov should be ashamed, what a prostitute he was/is.

Below is one paragraph, see the whole short article here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massie_Trial In February 1986, CBS-TV aired a four-hour miniseries produced by Lorimar Productions titled Blood & Orchids, written for television by Norman Katkov, who based his teleplay on his own novel of the same title. Though Katkov said that he based his novel on the Massie Affair, his novel and teleplay bear only a superficial resemblance to actual fact. Katkov changed all the names of the principal characters and added other characters for whom no historical warrant can be found (most notably, Police Captain Curtis Maddox, supposedly the one conscientious law-enforcement officer who ever investigated the affair). Katkov's story also departs significantly from actual historical events in many ways, not least of which is making the murder of Kahahawai look like a crime of passion rather than the cold-blooded murder that it actually was--and also laying all the blame on Lieutenant Massie and not on Grace Fortescue, the true instigator of Kahahawai's murder.

I got to admit, I liked the movie a lot more before finding out the real story. It does have a nice look, if not a little heavy-handed in the wardrobe department. KK goes through the whole movie (remember, this is Hawaii) in a freshly pressed 3-piece suit, vest fully buttoned and jacket permanently affixed to his body. And the stupid fedora, give me a break. They want you to believe no one wore shirt sleeves I guess.

5 out of 10 for the moderate entertainment value. Still worth a watch.

hollywoodjim@gmail.com
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Spies (1987– )
1/10
How bad is George Hamilton?
12 July 2007
He's awful, that's how bad. This is partially a response to the previous solitary comment.

I have an episode of a 1984 George Hamilton sitcom that is so bad it isn't even listed on IMDb OR TV.com. It's the pilot (and possibly only) episode of something called "Poor Richard" and he was the star of a minimal cast.

The show has a "Beverly Hillbillies" storyline. George Hamilton plays a millionaire Beverly Hills mansion dweller that falls on hard times (remember the early 80's economy?) and has to sell his mansion to a newly rich farmer from Iowa (Geoffrey Lewis) who has invented a new pig feed supplement. An invention that makes him rich, rich enough to move to Beverly Hills, buy the mansion and make George Hamilton his butler. Yes, his butler. A pretty and young Alley Mills plays the cook. That's it for the cast, TIGHT!

A half hour sitcom with nary a chortle. Unintentionally unfunny front to back.

This show most likely didn't have a second airing, it was that bad, but how come no listing of it anywhere?
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Generation (1985 TV Movie)
7/10
See the future in retrospect! Impossible?
11 May 2007
Now that I've watched it I can say that I loved it. Yes cheesy, yes corny but I'm a sucker for anything that is "future-y", just can't help it.

The storyline was plausible though not very accurate, 15 years in advance might not be a long time to forecast but they picked the WRONG 15 year period. Think about all that happened in technology between 1985 and 1999, the year in which this movie takes place. So many things, the least of which is the internet. There's a scene where the girl is doing homework in front of her computer and she turns to her parents and asks, "Who was the president after Ronald Reagan?" and her mom tells her to "look it up". Isn't that (and any) a question to ask the computer? Laughable! And the biggest "miss", the representation of the Los Angeles street gang, which was oddly non-Latino. Ludicrously absurd and glaringly inaccurate. During one of the street fights one guy takes out another guy with a slingshot! No joke. I think the level of available firepower any name-brand LA street gang has is a couple notches above a slingshot. To express civil disobedience they all blow whistles in unison. Seriously, stop laughing. And the weirdest line of all? The one about "explaining the war with Mexico". It doesn't go any further but the line was delivered definitively. Hmm.

Anyway, nice try at futuristic Sci-Fi on a TV movie budget. Obviously, so obviously, they didn't have mucho bucks to work with here. But the family drama is intact on a few different levels, the sports parallel was funky enough and best of all... there were CARS! Only about 8 in total but some cool future oddities including a low slung yellow roadster and what looks like a minivan of today. The police car has a funny whooshy rocket turbine sound, like a large vacuum cleaner coming in for a landing. Aren't all police cars turbine powered these days? This movie was an enjoyable hoot. I literally watched it twice in a 12 hour period and I can't wait to share it with a few friends. It will be hard to be quiet while they watch though, some parts are just too funny! 7 stars out of 10, highly recommended on a kitschy level.
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