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Reviews
Found Footage 3D (2016)
Insipid FF Film is too self-aware for its own good
I love found footage movies; I can find something good in the most incompetently-shot, horribly-acted found footage film. So let's get that out of the way: this movie has one really inspired scene of gore. The actors also do the best they can with what they're given - they are competent (particularly Beardy Sound Guy - love him), and they deserve better.
Now, the bad: this movie, in an attempt to be edgy and self-aware, has its characters constantly pointing out the flaws in found footage movies. How they're all so terrible, how there's no reason to be filming all of this, how jump scares are dumb, and so on. It then goes on to indulge in all of those flaws, as though lampshading their use somehow forgives the filmmaker's transgressions.
Spoiler: it does not. If this movie took those found footage tropes and turned them on their head, or put a novel spin on them, all of this winking at the audience could be forgiven. Instead, the filmmaker chooses to dutifully plod through FF clichés, to the point of lifting lines and shots from other, better films. They also commit the cardinal sin of naming better movies. Look, guys, if your movie sucks, you should not shout out to other movies -- it just reminds the audience that they could be spending their time with a better quality of entertainment.
And, unfortunately, if you take out all of this winking and sneering, what you are left with is a very bland film. The scares are non-existent. The monster is the definition of boring. The characters are the worst kind of clichés, so much so that I don't know any of their names -- they are simply THE DOUCHE, THE PRIMA DONNA, THE QUIET GUY, THE DORK, THE OTHER GIRL, THE PRODUCER WHO INSISTED ON A SPEAKING ROLE, and Beardy Sound Guy, who I really liked. You'd think that as much time as the characters spend shouting out each others' names, one would have stuck, but nope.
The best thing you can say about this film is that it is "competent". There are words, and they sound like they were spoken by humans. There are pictures, and you can generally see them. There is a location, and it looks like a place in the real world. But, honestly, I am willing to tolerate a bit of incompetence for some inventiveness, and that is one thing that this film SORELY lacks. I think I understand what they were going for, but for me, it didn't work. Unless the goal was to point out how bland, illogical, and uninspired found footage movies have become by making a bland, illogical, uninspired found footage movie...in which case, good job!
13 Demons (2016)
So-so concept redeemed by great acting
I always feel compelled to give a shout out to movies that pleasantly surprise me, and this is one. I almost didn't watch it, because the box cover makes it look like a cut-rate "Warcraft". It is most definitely not that.
"13 Demons" is really the spiritual successor to movies like "Mazes & Monsters", in that it marries the D&D panic of the early 80s with a more general fear of what happens when nerds go berserk. I will say that the structure of the film is problematic, in that it spells out the entire plot in the first five minutes, and doesn't provide any grand revelations. What is left, then, is a character study.
Fortunately, I found this film very compelling in that regard. The three main actors (one of whom is the director) quickly transition from broad stoner stereotypes to more interesting, obsessive personalities. The arc of their transformation is interesting to watch, and they play well off of one another. The dialog, which appears to cause some people consternation, rang very true to a gamer and general nerd from the 80s, and the delivery of said dialog was top notch.
I would never claim that the film is without flaws -- it has some very jarring issues. Somebody went absolutely nuts with the fake sweat, to the point that it is actually distracting. The two main characters are very difficult to distinguish at the beginning of the movie, as they both appear very similar when smeared in blood. And, as previously mentioned, the first 10-15 minutes of the movie can be a slog because of the annoying stoner stereotypes.
That said, I was absolutely pleasantly surprised by this film. I thought the acting was positively stellar, and I am willing to forgive a lot for films in the "Satanic Panic" sub-sub-subgenre. And, since I was expecting "World of Fightcraft", I was absolutely delighted to discover an entertaining, subtle character film.
And, yes, I realize that it does not speak well of me that I was willing to watch "World of Fightcraft".