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EuroTrip (2004)
2/10
This film gave me permanent neurological damage
17 June 2020
This movie made my brain hurt. It's a fairly typical early 2000s teen comedy, complete with the standard wooden acting, jokes that are obscene and crass for the sole point of being obscene and crass, and a plot that makes zero sense. Having no plot isn't necessarily a bad thing for comedies. In fact it's often a good thing; many of the greatest movie comedians to utilise absurdist humour, such as the Marx Bros, WC Fields and Wheeler & Woolsey, used very silly (often non-existent) plots simply as a means of transitioning from joke to joke.

But that's where this film falls painfully short: The jokes. Or lack thereof. Whenever the writers try to establish a joke beyond, "haha lots of naked men", or "haha man f...ed in his bottom" (seriously I'm not a prude by any means, but the sex in this movie is embarrassing), it falls flat every time. Some sequences, like the part where a character fights a French Street performer for no reason, plays out like a Smosh YouTube skit circa 2007. It's clearly aimed at children, as no adult could withstand the barrage of poor acting and non-sequitur "comedic concepts" that drag out WAY too long without falling into a cringe-induced coma, yet the sexual overtones of this film make it wildly inappropriate for any child, so it seriously boggles the mind as to who the target audience is supposed to be.

Other jokes, and admittedly the ones with more comedic substance, are always established with so much foreshadowing that they can always be spotted a mile off, feel incredibly contrived, and when the joke you predicted three minutes ago finally manifests it leaves you scratching your head wondering why they bothered to write it in the first place.

As a comedy, I'm not too fussed about artistic direction, cinematography or production, but needless to say it's all atrocious and dates this film very badly to 2004. And that's not a good thing; it's aged more like a bowl of fresh fruit than a bottle of fine wine. The majority of the film's soundtrack is a forgettable early 2000s rock-pop single by some indie band, which would be fine if it weren't so obvious that the film was basically serving as an advertisement for the single, with it being repeatedly played ad nauseam and even mentioned and sung by characters for literally no reason, whether plot-based or comedic.

If you are a thirteen year old, or have the mental faculties of a thirteen year old, you will probably enjoy this movie. For anybody else, unless you're blackout drunk I struggle to see how you'll find any enjoyment from this absolute trainwreck of a film. Netflix should be ashamed of itself for exhuming this rotten corpse from 2004 in order to pad out its low-budget offerings.
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7/10
A Heartwarming Pre-Code Cagney
4 November 2017
Warning: Spoilers
James Cagney demonstrates his versatility as an actor in this charming pre-code classic.

When one thinks of James Cagney, they almost always think of his roles as a gangster, or as a dancer. While the former may, to some degree, describe his role in this picture, the character is not your typical Cagney.

Cagney plays the commissioner of a reform school, who sees an opportunity to improve the lives of the juvenile offenders whom society has turned its back on. He gives a brilliant performance, appearing particularly sensitive for one of his 'tough guy' characters; one feels a genuine sense of caring for the downtrodden youngsters.

The youngsters themselves could be described as the main stars of the picture, particularly Frankie Darro, who delivers a very powerful performance.

Though the plot itself is rather simplistic, particularly in dealing with complex themes regarding criminal reform, the outstanding acting carries the film with flair. Furthermore, the direction, allegedly handled in part by Michael Curtiz, is another highlight; great suspense is created in several scenes, most notably the final climax of the film, making for a particularly memorable viewing experience.

The Mayor of Hell is yet another forgotten pre-code classic waiting to be rediscovered.
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