This film can be best describes as one hour and forty-five minutes worth of a visual run-on sentence. At no point during the incoherent rambling of a film did I presence anything remotely worth watching. Jackie Chan's impression of a wooden plank is outstanding, but it didn't work in his favor to keep the charade going throughout the movie. Chris Tucker is washed up; his time was the 90's. He is every unoriginal comedian who can be loud and annoying. I used to think he was funny, but then I turned 13. We understand, you're black, but sadly that doesn't make you original or funny, so knock it out. The movie is unfunny, has no plot and no originality, lacks depth, and if that's not enough, I can guarantee that if you've never experience what can be considered a "brainfart", you will. The movie was basically the regurgitated spew of Rush Hour 2; this reeks of trash. Watch at your own risk.
Reviews
13 Reviews
Deliver Us from Eva
(2003)
Eyes never seemed so heavy before. DELIVER ME FROM THIS MOVIE
23 December 2005
This film was disgusting, in the most amazing of ways. It sucked more than a 5 dollar hooker, and was as entertaining as Carson Daly... yeah, that bad. I couldn't believe that my friend lent me this. I almost stopped being her friend. I saw this free and still feel I was robbed. I would only recommend this to my arch nemesis, Ben Affleck. I feel the name couldn't have been less cheesy and Gabrielle Union is a TERRIBLE, AWFUL, PITIFUL, but f*ckable actress. Unless if you're a nimph who likes masturbating to Ms. Union, I wouldn't watch it, and even then, there's no nudity scenes, sorry for the disappointment. If your local library is open, take your time to read a book and don't see this cheap movie. I feel bad for LL Cool J.
Catch That Kid
(2004)
A long sigh of grief
23 December 2005
I am curious to know what the fascination is with this pitiful excuse for a film. I understand that this film is intended for kids, but come on. Stop underestimating their level of intelligence. The scenes seem formulaic to the point of exhaustion. The beginning seems rushed. The bank manager was one dimensional (c'mon, who's THAT mean?) as were the security guards (who's that STUPID?). I fell asleep half-way through (personally, I found my nightmare about James Lipton getting arrested for exposing his genitals more tolerable than this waste). Don't watch this film and don't take your kids to watch this film, unless you want to traumatize them for life.
The Day After Tomorrow
(2004)
Save your money, this is trash
23 December 2005
This film had HORRIBLE acting, and was more expected then Adam Sandler's speech at the end of every single movie he's been in. As soon as the scares of the end of the world began, this movie was release and it wasn't a surprise. The detail and imagery was great, seemed real, almost made me feel slightly sad when my very own NY was under ice, but with the sh*tty script and horrible acting, there was no way to feel sympathetic for this peace of turd. I still haven't forgiven Jake Gyl. for this film, although I want to see Jarhead, anyways, back to the subject. This shouldn't be aloud to hit televisions. The only thing that can make this worse is if TBS tried to show it, with their happy, keep the kids safe, strict censoring. All around, watchable film, but wouldn't skip homework or babysitting my little brother over this.
Stealing Sinatra
(2003)
Useless roll of film
23 December 2005
I don't know where to begin. Perhaps the whole idea of this movie was just a disaster waiting to happen. There is nothing slightly humorous about a kidnapping. I don't know what was more offensive--the subject matter or David Arquette's "performance". It was like watching a bull get it's penis cut off, although I think the bull felt better afterwards. The filmmakers should find something about Sinatra other than his son's kidnapping to show (like, I don't know, his TALENT AS A SINGER!!!!). His family shouldn't have to relive that horror. Thank GOD it was just shown on HBO and not released in theaters. Please don't watch this if you have any self respect.
Cheaper by the Dozen
(2003)
Bad Mooooooooooooooooooooooooviiiiiiieeeessss.....
23 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Cheap is the correct word to use for this low-budget, trashy, commercial, work-shopped movie. It was so 'Blah' that writing this summary is difficult. The characters are not defined, yet they make up for it with cliché filler. Steve Martin, lame. Hillary Duff, lame. Tom Welling, lame. Those were the good actors, the rest were so pitiful, I felt like ripping my eyes out more than priests want to molest young boys. I'm not going to make a Michael Jackson comment, you try to figure that one out on your own. I've never seen the original, but this remake has tarnished it forever, and PERSONALLY, I'm not giving part 2 a chance. Join the movement, quit supporting trash....Oh, and Ben Affleck did NOT co-write Good Will Hunting. - enjoy!
Are We There Yet?
(2005)
Please, don't support this film.
23 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
It would be an insult to bad movies to put this piece of garbage in that category. The only thing worse than another work-shopped black movie about obnoxious children sharing a hubby Love moment with a player about how dads aren't around, is if the player in this lame attempt for comedy, is none other than the Natural Born Killa of NWA. Apparently Ice Cube needed some quick getaway money, because most drug dealers in South Central could not be paid ENOUGH to act in this cheap film. It shouldn't even be called a backlot production. If you search 20 ft. under rock bottom, there's this. Don't waste your hard earned paycheck on this. I mean, Ice Cube riding on a horse? C'mon, it's time to cut the horse manure. If I were God, I'd send anyone who supports this straight to hell, that's my personal opinion.
Daredevil
(2003)
If the fact that Ben Affleck is staring doesn't scare you, watch it.
23 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Ben Affleck is horrible in this role, but then again, when is he not. Jon Favreau is the only actor I pity for I know that there was gun put to his head and he was FORCED to sign a contract, a lot like in the Godfather. Jennifer Garner was... Blah. A 2- dimensional actress, with a character cliché'd and with a double digit IQ, this is not a good film. You might like it if you and your friends are drugged, if not, I wouldn't consider renting this. I wouldn't buy it if I were high. As retarded as Forrest Gump, Ben Affleck (whom did NOT help write Good Will Hunting) is mediocre and shameful. He isn't talented enough to trick a person into thinking McNuggets are safe, therefore, he shouldn't be allowed to show himself in front of a camera(including photographs). Please, stop the vicious cycle, tell your friends that this is more dangerous than cancer, DON'T WATCH IT!
Kill Bill: Vol. 1
(2003)
Great film, relief from the norm.
23 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
There is nothing better than being saved while drowning and that is what this film has done to the movie industry. From direction, to lighting, fighting sequence, and coloring, this is simply amazing. Acting is dead on, great timing, writing is top-notch quality. This was the diamond that made the dirt worth digging. A pot of gold at the end of a rainbow of terrible films. Tarantino never ceases to amaze me, the cast is excellent, I can only love a film like this and hopefully more movies like this one will appear and less Nick Cannon movies will be made. STOP NICK CANNON! and Omarion and Marques Houston, if you have the time...
Hulk
(2003)
Note: This should not be considered a movie.
23 December 2005
You cannot begin to fathom my disgust when I began watching this film. Not only was I disappointed that one of my favorite comic book characters was simply obliterated in front of me, but it made me sad and sick to my stomach that actors, writers, and directors just don't care about their job or the work they release since year 2000. with few exceptions, the millennium is a sea of horrible movies, and we are the excrement flowing with it. As expected as a rape in jail, this 'End of the World As We Know It' movie is full of crap. Bad acting, horrible script (VERY), I cannot believe this was ever made. Sometimes I feel like DC Comics payed the writers and director to make a nauseating Marvel Comic film and that it was all a big conspiracy. Sadly, this hasn't been proved yet. Oh, and to end my message, I've never seen a doctor be so dumb since Supersize Me.
Love Don't Cost a Thing
(2003)
Save yourself, don't watch this film if you love yourself!
23 December 2005
This movie is definitely the retarded cousin of the bunch. I would rather watch Mo'Nique try to be funny in another black comedy than watch this ridiculous, half-as*ed film. George Bush should make Saddam watch this film in order to extract nuclear (nukuler) secrets. Loaded with silly catch-phrases, and cliché'd characters and plot, this is simply and only be explained in one word: Pathetic. Watching this film was like pressing on my testicles, maybe worse. If you watch this film more than once, you are a masochist. I wouldn't recommend this to most sex offenders or murderers, for one simple reason: no one deserves this type of treatment. Please, save the world, and walk into your local videostore and burn this to the ground. Help your community... enjoy!
You Got Served
(2004)
From the acting to the directing to the script and all things in between, this film is without a doubt, one of the top five worst movies I've seen in my life.
23 December 2005
The only reason i voted 1 of 10 was because there is no 0 option. This is the worst attempt at a drama movie in at least 10 years. I would honestly feel more comfortable watching a slow-motion home video of a man attempting to record excrement leaving his anus. Besides the fact that this follows every cliché African-American 'dance-off' or 'underground-rapper' movie ever made, it also contains poor actors, horrible writers, sick direction, and music excessively over-used. They remixed Beethoven, just so you can get a clue. I would save 10 dollars and my dignity by not buying, and won't dream of renting, a DVD or VHS of this. This is probably the tape that killed the people in The Ring, which by the way is horrible as well. DON'T WATCH THIS!
Pulp Fiction
(1994)
Best movie ever!
13 November 2005
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is my favorite movie because it has amazing writing, excellent acting, the director is the best of his generation, and the cooperation and wit is spectacular!!!!! everyone can relate to these people and the situational irony and suspense ties in perfectly. i like how these people that have never met, cross paths, and connect. Quentin Terentino at his finest with this script and his directing skills, John Travolta's career is reborn with this film, Samuel L. Jackson was perfect for his role, Uma Thurman great as always, Bruce Willis plays the tough all American as usual, and Ving Rahmes is as always the ruthless boss, one other great thing about this film is that is is one of the last things to come out of Hollywood that wasn't work-shopped and commercially exploited till the point that there is no personality or originality to the story this is definitely one of the best films ever, without a doubt, and my personal favorite of all time... enjoy!
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