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Harry Brown (2009)
5/10
Would have been great with a real actor in the lead role
2 December 2009
Well the plot is fairly straight forward. Old man turns vigilante. There is a flavour of Gran Torino but not offensively. The film does try to stand apart. And there is a lot to like in this film. As others here have stated there is a curious mix of ultra realism and fantasy. I found this quite acceptable in terms of making an entertaining film. If I wanted to watch a documentary I would. Or britains toughest cops or some rubbish with people fighting outside nightclubs.

Also the plot progresses in a satisfying manner. It doesn't take too long between setting up the characters and some action starting. The action again is satisfying. It does start to get a little predictable towards the end but is acceptable all the same.

So why the 5/10? Sir Michael Caine. He lumbers through this film in such an awkward manner. There are so many scenes where a real actor could have kicked this film into overdrive. None of the development scenes have any impact. And the one big showpiece scene in the dealers warehouse is ruined by Caines lumpen and almost emotionless delivery. The dealers performance is excellent. This scene could have been huge but ends up feeling a little silly.

The film is watchable if only for everything but Caine. Just imagine if a real actor had that part. Shame.
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Ink (I) (2009)
1/10
Amateur hour(s)
9 November 2009
Well firstly I must say all the shills in this comment/review section suckered me into watching this film. Really before I start trust me that they are shills without a doubt. No sane person unrelated to the makers of this film would ever give it over 5/10.

Well I'll start with the positives- There are some nice effects here and there with one glaring exception. The succubus bad guys do look quite sinister using simple but quite effective tricks. The filters and muted colours are evocative and suit the material.

OK that's that over with. Now I will try to keep the negatives relatively succinct so this doesn't turn into an epic post.

The script is just a shambles. Utter juvenile trash. I mean this rubbish manages to make Twilight look like dostoevsky. That bad. The theme of dreams is apt as the plot seems to have been literally dreamed up over night. Or probably during the course of a daydream while sat on the bus to work(school). There is little explanation of the tenuous reasons for the bizarre dream people who give good dreams etc. And if you can manage to get to the toe curling finale you will probably feel very frustrated. The kung fu fighting while adequately choreographed and performed lacks any real context and as a result any real impact. The lead actor is the only actor who seems to have anything even approaching professional abilities, and those are rendered laughable by one half of his role which includes the comically bad prosthetic nose. I do actually feel sorry for that guy as if he wasn't literally smothered by this juvenile nonsense he may be capable of putting in an acceptable sub-bale performance.

The characters are all paper thin and range from the simply annoying to the truly silly. Stupid angel with no eyes character tries so hard to be annoyingly funny but is just annoying. The storyteller has some of the most toe curling and awkward lines I have heard. And there are some other people. That's about the best I can say. There are some other people who say some things that are irrelevant and have some irrelevant kung fu fights. Although the little young girl does actually manage to not be annoying or precocious.

The dialogue is consistently dreadful throughout and really reaches a peak of absurdity towards the end. Leaden and ham fisted platitudes pour from your speakers like a sonic cancer.

Well thats about all I can say really. This is easily the worst film I have ever wasted my time on and I have seen some real stinkers. Jamin Winans as I note is listed as director/producer/writer/editor/composer. Well maybe for your next film you might think about sharing some of that load with some people who can actually do that work. You know, maybe get some of those shills to actually help you make a good film instead of spamming IMDb with nonsense reviews. I understand this is an indie low budget feature but that really doesn't excuse the utter rubbish that has been produced. If anything this film is pretty negative for indie features as there is such a gulf between this and a good high budget film.
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Knowing (2009)
1/10
Indoctrination Vehicle
25 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
What a truly disgusting film.

I did realize that this film was going to go down a conspiracy style path. The silly numeric message from the time capsule buried in the 50s by the protagonist's son confirmed that. OK its stupid but I can dig stupid if it fuels a fun film. And for the next 45 minutes or so the plot trundles along in a suspense filled manner. The initially odd incursions by emo men in black was offset by a decent scene with a plane crash.

Nothing special up to that point but also nothing that offensive. I did start to suspect that I was watching a stealth M. Night Shyamalan film. Now that did worry me as his films always irritate me having that same decent suspense build leading to a stultifyingly childish ending. If only.

No, Alex Proyas has gone one further. Obviously not satisfied with a typical Shyamalan ending he takes it to the next level. Now I am not certain exactly what religious extreme he is pushing towards here. Be it scientology or some other generic rapture/ufo nonsense. But in brief within say the last 10 minutes of the film the strange visitors turn out to be aliens/angels and take the "chosen" children off to start again.

Now I am of no religious denomination personally but I don't think that has that much of a bearing on how much this film irritated me. There is no resolution of any of the plot devices used to build suspense. It seems the sheer fact that aliens/angels are involved is a de-facto resolution of any questions you are left with. And further the overt religious ending is at odds with the bulk of the film that honey traps you into a sucker punch propaganda ending.

Now I have watched plenty of films with heavy aliens/god themes and while I may not personally believe these things if the film is enjoyable I have zero problem with them. But the experience of this film irked me on two levels-

1. The ending is deeply flawed and lazy which renders THE WHOLE FILM an un-satisfying mess. I disagree whole heartedly with comments such as "good film, bad ending". Bad ending=bad film.

2. Not only is the film dreadful on an artistic level but by the closing credits I felt like I had been subjected to a 2-hour indoctrination into some scientology/rapture/ufo cult/religion/whatever.

At least Mel Gibson's religious vanity vehicle was clearly flagged as such.
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Killshot (2008)
1/10
Awful made for TV movie
19 May 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Truly appalling waste of space. Me and my friend tried to watch this film to its conclusion but had to switch it off about 30 minutes from the end. And i can count the films I have switched off before the end on one hand.

The script and direction are leaden and deeply uninspiring. I wouldn't be surprised if they found the script in a pile of cast off scripts from 1983. For example the irritating scroat threatening the real estate guy from his house phone. I mean seriously. The police would be beating his door down in minutes. The scenes and events just wash by you like turds in a river. It is difficult to understand the actual thrust of the film. The narrative flicks between characters in a seemingly random manner breaking up the pathetic attempts at building the characters. Oh and what "characters" they are. The protagonist played by Rourke is dreadful. He could have just sent a cardboard cut out of himself and stayed in bed. After 60 or so minutes of the film I had built absolutely zero attachment to this character. He is neither sympathetic nor hateful. Just a disfigured dummy from a shop window blundering through every single scene. His motivation is impossible to discern from his generally mumbled and emotionless delivery. Is he happy? Is he sad? Angry? No idea. Just those same dead eyes staring out at you from a disfigured chunk of flesh. And the native American theme is just awful and pointless.

The good guys are at best unlikeable. A dull white collar stereotype and a simpering neurotic ex-wife stereotype. Cue archetypal wife with shotgun face off with bad guy, "you aren't going to shoot me" that is both tiresomely unoriginal and annoying.

The richie nix character seems interesting at first but soon descends into an irritating one sided psycho character. Which seems at odds with the seeming intention of making the bad guys in some way sympathetic or at least realistically motivated.

Roasario Dawsons character starts with some promise but soon descends into a sickening and childlike parody of the gangsters chick scenes from Jackie Brown. You really want me to believe her character was SO attracted to Rourke's? Or worse she is just a floozy who sleeps with anything that moves? Realistic female characters FTW!

In summary a complete mess of a film. Hopeless characterisations and performances. A leaden and hackneyed script along with uninspired direction. And ultimately extremely dull. Its not even comedy bad either. Laughing at Rourkes haggard face gets pretty old after sitting through the first 15 turgid minutes of the film.
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