Reviews

If dr who has taught uas anything its that it can do horror, blink, midnight, the two silence episodes in 1969 and this has a brilliant horror concept thats eerie and at times quite psychological but as per most modern shows its not really put at the forefront instead it turns into a scating indictment of nationalist politiciants and i dont have an issue with that it just really felt like it should have been a two parter, horror for part one ruby in 2043 fighting the man in part two while basically not ageing a day apart from bigger glasses, it was just like a cool slideshow more than a cool story.

I think this would have been an awesome independant film or something with the 73 yards concept and the psychological effects that are really just brushed over.

So i guess in summary great writing, brilliant concept for the first 20 mins just really rushed and ended quite suddenly with ittle explanation, like was it all a dream, a vision, a warning and im curious as to what the woman said but i think this will be the standout episode of the series for sure.

This show is way better than it should be its got such a wacky setting and plot but it just is so charming and endearing, Its what the Japanese thought victorian England should look like complete with pretty bad geography wacky hairstyles, overly evil rich people and a slight gay overtone that just makes me so happy considering a lot of anime rather oversexulises womem and some ive seen are super homophobic. I implore you to watch this incredible retelling of the Sherlock Holmes mythos it may only have your basic characters in and not really delve much into te lore but its still pretty great.

Brilliant atmosphere, stellar dub which is something i rarely get to say but since its based in britain its actually has a dub that adds rather than subtracts, the music is super and the animation quality doesnt leave anything to be desired. Now i give it a 9/10 because of the title opening promising lots of action and the show not really delivering but thats more of a me problem.

9/10 a pure anime with no ridiculous fan service or overly graphic scenes to interupt a great story maybe evn comparible to attack on titan in quality.

Im on episode 17 currently and im just getting worn out of all the ridiculousness, i watch the 3d movie gantz0 and that one is fantastic absolutely fantastic this is a mess of perverted, violent, ridiculous and absurd scenes kinda thrown together, now i have given it a 4 just cos the animation is good and some of the action is decent but it is surrounded by this cast of 3 characters who are all actively ludicrous people that could never exist 1 is a teenage boy that is so horny that all he thinks about is a girls boobs like thats his entire personality hes mad that a girl wont have sex with him and in one episode he dreams of forcing himself on her as payment for living in his house like thats just normal behaviour then. He just randomly has sex with this woman who looks like 30 years older than him because he is a school kid so the fact his entire character is basically fenril from black clover if black clover was perverted is crazy, now honestly the girls not much better she is so oblivious to the fact that th emain kid is always perving on her that she lives with him and while a character using her body to gain favour in an anime isnt exactly new she just does it like without realising its crazy and also literally every few episodes someon tries to sexually assault her, its insane but when her characters first introduction ws appearing naked in a room and a dog trying to assault her i dont know what i was expecting she is just not a character she is an excuse for perverted nudity with like a bit of a suicide storyline and parental abuse just so shes like 1% of a human. I could talk about her all day because she is the absolute worst always hiding behind everyone being a damsel in distress and just unable to think for herself which in terms of the lead female character is the worst trait. Now the third guy hes the only guy with some semblance of sanity and character development he has a younger brother and hes a bit of a coward but he has heart so he tries to save people but usually fails so thats an actual character for once.

The rest of the cast are just nobodies sent to die apart from the cocky kid at the beggining who dies halfway through he was vaguely interesting other than that pretty pathetic.

Now all this might sound like daft adult oriented anime stuff with a bit too much nudity but it doesnt sound too ridiculous, well wait it gets weirder the tone is no way what you expect like bubbly light hearted maybe over the top anime style nope its harrowing like kids die, so much child abuse, casual homophobia and racism, just straight up sexual assault, lots of gang violence and very violent bullying, at one point a kid and his grandma are horribly killed after the kid is running around yellng for help its just so incredibly awful it borders on parody, especially when every five minutes theres a close up of bouncing boobs or the main character saying how much he wants to have sex i just cant fathom who would write this and then what pervs animated it especially considering the unrealistic proportions.

Final note on the weirdness theres a totally pointless bit of plot with a bikers whos wife cant breastfeed and then suddenly she can so he commits suicide, and you guessed it they felt the need to animate a lactating breast and they did it completely wrong as well like not anatomically correct at all it would have taken like one person there to have met a woman to realise this, im not usually gonna make go talk to a woman jokes but seriously guys consult a woman on your anime.

I know anime has a lot of fan service and i can accept that its just innevitable but dear god this trascends that to a whole level of creepy tone clashing absurdness why would you animate a character lactating why???

Maybe im stupid and this is all parody but having seen Gantz0 that is like a proper serious animated film i dont think it is, full discolsure i watched the english dub so i could play starcraft 2 at the same time but i cant think a dub would screw it up so much when half the show is naked women and giant unrealistic boobs.

I will finsh it while im playing some starcraft and add my notes on any weird stuff that happens below.

This happened that was weird in the midst of a big alien battle the main guys are just watching a homeless man get beaten to death and for some reason there are homeless hunters killing homeless people for some crazy reason like its totally unrelated to anything its just added in and who knows why and the guys doing it seem unphased by the explosions around them they just want to bash a guys brains in so much like is the writer of this episode anti homeless did he just want to show people homeless people dying. I am in awe of how screwed up this show is.

So i finished it and may i say it... didnt get better it just stayed so lame, killing off characters just as they get interesting and then introducing a possibly interesting plot with human foes and it just ended up being more boring undecisive back and forth chatter not to mention more pervy crap, the main guy got to do a few things i guess but nothing noteworthy and of course every single character dies pointlessly like zero common sense in any death lets not jump out of the way of these bullets lets just die or lets not shoot the obvious murderer lets just let him shoot me. Damn this show is just so lame and i sat through it hoping it would be as good as Gantz0 it totally was not, i guess you can watch if you like pervy anime with incredibly out the blue dark tones that are insane, and where else can you see animated lactating (man someone actually animated that and broadcast it on tv so disturbing). Please if you have a funimation subscription watch anything else.

Im a fan of godzilla a big fan so ill review this in 2 ways cos it hits both niches its a great godzilla movie and a great movie movie. So first as a movie this is a spectacular drama about a disaster hitting post war japan and the people fighting it and despite the language barrier it hit me hard in places, especially when godzilla launched a mushroom cloud and it destroyed the entire city much more effective than any other scene in a godzilla movie. The human drama was brilliant with the orphan kid and the failed kamikaze pilot ill admit the end where the surrogate mother was still alive was a bit cheesy but not enough to make me dislike the movie. The second thing about this movie is the godzilla action the vfx are solid not as good as shin or the monsterverse for sure but super good i felt the scale and the plan to sink big G and rise him up was quite unique i loved it.

So this movie proves to be suitable for a fan and your average movie viewer, it hits a bit of nostalgia as well with the slo mo atomic breath and the original music, like king of the monsters it used akira ifukubes theme and it was spectacular it didnt update it too much unlike how bear mcreary did but it was still such a nostalgia hit but not too much to prove a detrement the soundtrack also featured a track when the plane wss distracting godzilla that will stay with me for a while it was about as good as persecution of the masses from shin godzilla, a good trend with these latest toho godzillas is a pretty spectacular score.

Id like to also commend the lack of boardroom meetings while this movie had less action than shin it didnt pad its runtime with a hundred boardroom meetings it felt like a great period post war movie sprinkled with godzilla not a mediocre modern disaster management movie sprinkled with godzilla. Further comparison with shin is the design choice its hard to point out which is better id have to say shin but only the final form minus one looks good throughout.

Final thoughts check this one out it deserves to win an award or something for the best movie of 2023 and considering that list includes john wick 4 you know this movie is incredible, and definitely listen to the soundtrack.

This feels really high budget with good production value which is scarce in britain even Doctor Who lost any sense of production value over 5 years ago so this gets points for that, but it obviously has flaws really glaring flaws at times like in the first series the main antagonist gets hit by a car and killed by who you ask the answer is who knows cos it just doesnt cler it up and ends really suddenly, then skips 2 years i assume cos it doesnt date it so i guess robert carlyle won the general election and do they bother exploring that, nope. But stop right there you say series 2 doesnt have any unresolved issues oh wait yes it does, that reporter dude got shot but nah who cares about that, who was handling him not really even stated that much and who blew up the sunk ship its hinted at being America but never said and in the next series Francines MP election isnt even brought up and lets not mention them doing like a whole series worth of stuff in the last episode like why are they rushing a conclusion the pacing is terrible.

Thats the bad but there ius good, Richard Dormer is excellnt and unfortunately absent from part 3 with no context, Carlyle isnt bad but i think his performance and character as a whole declines poorly he was quite cool and heroic in series 1 but he just becomes a bit of a shrub in the later parts. Nobody else is worth mentioning.

The writing on characters ranges from really good to predictably lame especially with the wife and daughter they are just poor and misused plot devices at times, Francine is the biggest switcheroo shes good in 2, lame in 1 and kinda okay in 3.

Now i have to address the elephant in the room this show is about tories and it really doesnt portray them very accurately even Archie the obvious parallel of current tories feels to clever and sometimes patriotic for a tory the ginger lass in 3 is way to clever and confident organising a military coup to be a tory and Caryle is way too liberal to be a tory, Labour are portrayed in part 2 as quite coniving as well which i think is more for the thematic purpose of the show but i dont think labour have it in them to be so coniiving.

British politics is full of really bad guys at this time who are almost comically incompetant and daft and this show does not do that justice, so it loses me at times with its version of our government, you can say the characters being unrealistic is good or bad but it is what it is and the scenarios shown are completely wild and them all converging to happen so quickly is bad writing but saying that i enjoyed it i would have made it 10 episodes a series and had more character development andmore government figures portrayed but 7/10 seems fair for good production value and decent entertainment value if you ignore that ginger lass saying 'wokerati' thats just completely cringe inducing.

I never really like scream much theyre good enough 1,2 and 4 are great 5 was decent 3 was terrible compared this one sits neatly inbetween 3 and 5 in quality id say, obviously theres so many plot holes and stupid character moments like why on earth would the ghostface lady invite a boyfriend over the night theyre going to try and kill the main characters and fake her death thats just extra body count for like no reason and their motivation is revenge not bloodlust so thats stupid, the store owner saying hey before shooting at a guy is ridiculous like the movie should have ended there pretty much, the fact they suspect the cute boy as the killer when he saved two of them is a bit insane as well and if i get into that lady who just starts going all movie explaining randomly ill blow my gasket cos the rest of the movie is dead serious bar that one scene literally just that. Speaking of the fact she thinks both candyman movies are as good as each other just proves shes lame and shoulda got ganked. Which leads me onto my main real issue there was like 7 real none ghostface deaths in the movie and id say like 4 dont count cos they were random people in a movie about a slasher there wasnt much slashering just samara weaving at the start, kittridge from mission impossible and the Asian lady who it seems her partner gave very little about like she had a gaping chest wound and wasnt the first over the ladder thats crazy.

But if you can take stupid plotholes everywhere its decent the main 4 characters are interesting if we dont include movie lady as a main character and the twist killers were vaguely well implemented i kinda expected them to go with kirby but that ethan guy was dead obvious, so obvious i was kinda surprised felt like he needed more focus so it felt like a betrayal, the movie is also 30 minutes too long so theres that going against it.

Final notes its a really stupid movie but its entertaining enough to not hate it it holds no candle to scream 1 though wes craven was a genius whoever made this not so much. It was alright if you like Scream. Not as good as the thers bar 3.

It starts off fine a bit daft and sloppy but you cant see the cracks form yet to her credit ruby rose did the best she could with what must have been horrendous material to say this movie is based in reality its written like a call of duty fan game that a edgy 13 year old made after hearing Soap say drop him too much but no its based on a book by andy mcnaab and hes credited in some way so either he didnt watch this or his book is lame.

Now i usually only write reviews when a movie is insultingly bad or really great or has a user score higher than it should this meets criteria 1 and 3 cos anything above 2 is being way too generous, i can forgive an action movie for having bad writing but this is a thriller too and its about as thrilling as the contents of a bottle of smart water its predictable has 0 tension all the characters are infuriateingly dumb and unlikeable especially the two leads the posh sas fool who more one dimensional than any character in a film starring bruce willis from the past 5 years and the docror girlfriend who is written like someone who just discovered how to be an adult or something seriously i dont understand her shes like every cliche in one and then she starts saying drop him like its supposed to be cute or something when it just sounds dumb as hell i think the two times she says that phrase might be the nail on the coffin of me saying anything nice about this film.

The action sucks, the writing sucks, the characters suck, sky suck for greenlighting this and the fact Andy Serkis is in it makes me sad for him its a permanent blemish on his career.

Dont watch this pile of nonsense please and take SAS out of the title is a disgrace to there name.

First we have to explore what make horror great, its the atmosphere more than anything and unlike the 2013 one this movie had some decent atmosphere it felt constricting and dark at times but it was more often just kinda dull looking cos of the limitations of the setting but i say hat they could have explored more rooms or floors not just 1 room a hallway a parking garage and an elevator in a 90 minute movie and a reasonably paced movie at that. Going back to atmosphere the parking garage was full of it more of the movie should have been there a nice big area that even a an underground bank vault but they just never utilised these cool things for building any horror or tension they just wanted to solatter some fake blood with a grinder and a chainsaw which i dont have a problem with except that this being a feature film and it was about the same quality as an episode of ash vs the evil dead in the horror and gore department, i would have liked more horror and tension not just mediocre goriness and some absolutely stagnent character development.

Now i know i said i wanted horror and tension which i do but id like to point out also the comedy element of the evil dead which was completely missing from most of this movie sure there were some laugh out loud moments but that wasnt sam raimi funny that was this is so stupid and excessive i have to laugh funny, they cpuld have embraced the over the top ness but they didnt they tried to make a horror film but its just a bad one with a vulgar demon and a funny scene of someone eating glass.

I dont know how to catagorze this film really it was just mediocre it felt lazy and cheap in the writing and setting and obviously the practical effects were decent but again only as decent as the 2013 movie and that was awful and only as decent as ash vs the evil dead but this has no ash so it just kinda sucks the only saving graces really is the priest on the vinyl was cool, the book looked awesome and one track off the soundtrack sounded just like hellraisers soundtrack, so much in fact i was expecting to see christopher young in the credits since he did the awesome soundtrack to sam raimis drag me to hell but alas no.

Conclusion watch it if your bored but dont be expecting anything nearly as good as evil dead 2 its just a generic modern horror movie with all that boringness modern horror movies somehow inject into themselves with a slight evil dea twinge of a vulgar demon, a chainsaw and pointless nostalgia bait lines.

The intro is terrible too skip the first 5 minutes.

Why is michael myers a good killer, because he is the shape a man with nothing but the urge to kill i like to think he is the embodiment of all the evil mankind is capable of and in such terms men can survive gunshots an knifes but they cant really teleport which now michael can, why do all the halloween movies end up sucking cos they make him more than just a man bent on killing. This one does that a bit with the teleporting but not as badly as 4, 5 and 6 so its got that going for it but by the end of this one he comes out still feeling like a supernatural force like jason vorhees which to me is a bit lame as i always like think of him as just a man and knowing that a man can be this evil is trrifying but i guess not.

Why i like the 2018 one so much its tense its raw and they beat him its not overly reliant on him being some kind of superman in this one by the end he has has survived so much punishment got up killed everyone and then teleported as if by magic to judy greer, like i could accept surviving the mob even though it was inprobable, maybe judy greer could have knifed him in the head but just teleporting right behind her is too far.

Now i usually go negative first and as you can see i gave this a 6 so the possitives are the design of michael he is terrifying with the burnt up mask and slow walk then we have tommy doyle i quite enjoyed him shame he never got to properly 1v1 michael. Next positive is John Carpenter i never really liked the first halloween film too much it was deent but it had the greatest soundtrack of any horror film and he is back giving us another killer soundtrack pun intended, im probably giving it 5 of the stars just for this soundtrack alone. Final possitive is the firefighter scene while maybe a bit messed up was a brilliant intro i woulda liked the see michal fight off a bunch of cops or something not just a bunch of rowdy idiots who we really dont get a well filmed scene of michael facing off with they just batter him a bit shoot him and then he gets back up and we have a few quick cuts of him stabbing them as if the director couldnt really fathom a way michael could actually just kill like 12 people without them knocking him on his backside not to mention he scene having 0 tension since he obviously is gonna get up and kill them cos theres a third film.

Kinda went negative toward the end but well continue that trend this movie is 1hr 45 and in total there are like 4 slashery scenes. 3 big action scenes and a whole lot of wasted time i like Jamie Lee Curtis and Will Patton but the movie focussing on them in the hospital is just annoying they dont do anything in the end tommy should be the focus and he just did a great deal of nothing himself then dies quite unceremoniously. The movie either needed more carnage or more tension it was not tense enough to be a horror, not actiony enough to be a action thriller and not destructive enough to be a b movie esque slasher like the later friday the 13th installments it just kinda sits in the middle having a few good scenes and then a really stupid ending that breaks my immersion in the character.

This is approaching rant territory now cos it kinda really annoyed me at the bery last minute, sure i didnt care judy greer died but the way he just teleports behind her if michael killed her just before she stabbed him in the back and then had a 1v1 with tommy after everyone else fled in fear from the indomitable michael myers thatd have saved the movie for me but nope he gets up somehow murks 12 guys then teleports to judy greer queue credits just lame they were trying to do some supernatural stuff with him with lauries damn speech about him being the spirit of killing or something not gonna lie i checked out cos i knew he was gonna wake up it had 0 tension they left it too long if he would have woke up like 30 seconds or a minute after being put down it would have had more tension but nope we have laurie do her stupid speech and judy greer go to the window then he wakes up.

Final thoughts, it was decent i guess maybe just skip the middle hour it is boring and pointless and definitely dont think about how stupid some of the character are by going to take on michael myers with 2 old women and some doctors or lonnie on his own like i thought hed have an important stake in the movie nope dies offscreen and definitely dont quetion why nobody tries to shoot him in the head they all go body shots loomis put 6 in his chet and he walks away, the only time you see a gun to his head is loomis in the flashback even cgi body double loomis is the only on with any sense.

6/10 maybe just listen to the soundtrack.

John Wick has set the bar very very high but the first Extraction came in swinging with glourious fight choreography and a gritty atmosphere, and this one follows suit with its john wick esque action and the same grittiness to it, but thats not my favourite thing i like that it isnt a clear and obvious studio copycat like most of the john wick clones it adds some thing to it theres a team of people he is saving people its a fun and different spin on the john wick clone and Chris Hemsworths vulgar and sarcastic Autralian really plays well.

With the obvious stuff out the way id like to say that in a world of studio movies with your marvel and dc crap everywhere (which ill admit to liking a few of) you can get very cynical about movies they all have to have there references and cameos and meet diversity quotos and have product placement and glorify the military or have a poltical statement about whats currently the new trendy thing to be offended by, yes maybe John Wick and these movies do that a wee bit but it doesnt stick out to me i could just watch the gritty action unfold.

I'm going a bit off topic but my point is this feels different to all the carbon copy big studio action films it feels good to watch like 10 years ago Fast and Furious kinda feeling it was over the top fun so go watch it.

The few flaws i noticed were i saw a crewmember in the background of a shot and the muzzle flares and gun noises felt a bit weak at times, also i will never not mention whenever theres unamed allies they always go down like chumps these guys are profesionals like our boy Hemsworth and they just stand there and die either dont have them or give them something to do.

The whole first act of this movie felt like a call of duty mission as well complete with a big fight, driving and then defending a train i really did appreciate that i think it might have been single take as well really adding to that immersive video game feeling.

10/10 make a 3rd one.

Action good, plot moderately intersting, effects are reasonable for TV the world looks convincing but the dialogue, pacing and tone is just off the charts weird.

The dialog and overall writin just feels really juvenile and bad like a 15 year old wrote it, admittedly im watching with english subtitles but squid game, that one on the moon and sweet home were fine so im confident this isnt a translation issue its just really really bad, the whole show is paced weird as well sometimes its super slow other times they just gloss over things not bad enough to lose me but still pretty bad, this is the worst thing though the tone it just keeps going from goofy kids to executions, suicide bombers, headshot and oh goofy kids again who barely even acknowledge the inhuman level of tragedy that just happened to them, like sure a bit of dark humour or light hearted tension breaking jokes are fine but this is way too far like the subject matter and the overall tone is super dark but the breaks to goofiness and the bad writing just really doesnt work to sell the dark it just comes across like theyre being super edgy and comically evil just because the writers want to show violence rather than it serving much of a point.

Now this gets a 5 because of the action and poitential of the plot, the whole show should have been less dark and just about the deliverymen and the deliveryman competion which was very entertaining rather than the comically evil Ryu guy trying to purify the gene pool and murder kids and refugees.

Its worth watching maybe its better if your korean but dont go expecting the next sweet home from this.

Okay first when looking at the purge we have to look at the previous ones the first one is a solid thriller the next 2 are mediocre action films 2 being better than 3 and the 4th purge film is a messy generic social commentary action fil that was just bad and trying to make a point but the movie was bad so the point falls flat, with that out of the way this one takes what was good and bad about 2, 3 and 4 and mushes it together you kinda just have to forget about 1 cos that tone never returns.

So we have decent schlock action and a social commentary, the action was good a bit all over the place and didnt help build character so it was just eye candy which is fine, the commentary was better handled than the first purge with its point being that if we keep fighting we wil just tear each other apart and lose what the original point of america was like obviously its not really that meaningful with the mediocre writing and short running time i did like how the two main dudes had differing viewpoints on the issue but learned to respect each other there wasnt any stupid conflict betweeen them they just had a disagreement in stances and learned to accept each others stance and adapt through the movie so that was nice but thats all nice i can say about the commentary of the movie.

Its a decent schlock film with a good budget and look to it go watch it just dont get hemmed in with the poor writing and the weak character development, oh and one of the main characters dies and obviously its the one with no character development like utterly pointless couldnt have made us care about him before killing him, nah too much effort.

8/10 but i am minussing a star for 3 false jumpscares with dumb sound effects like he closes a door and his wife is there oh sooo scary not really but what if we add a generic bwooom noise, still not scary and just pathetic stop doing these fake jump scares they are pointless and the real jump scares would be better without that awful sound effect it is like treating your audience like theyre a bunch of babies who need to be told when to be be startled its lazy stop it.

Sorry about the jump scare rant watch the film ignore the jump scares.

A movie can be bad and thatd awful but at least it gives me words to say or scenes to laugh at, this movie is competent well shot, well acted its just theres no substance in it they do mediocre puzzles a few die the end, there was a semblence of character development with the girl who couldnt feel pain but no she dies immediately after tat reveal so thats irrelevant, the guy hving a crisis of faith it happens once and then he dies saving said person who then immediately dies so that was irrelevant and the other lady just doesnt hve any character and then dies, this whole movie lives on the two from the last one which is just lame and bad filmaking.

Ill mention the twist ending that wasnt a twist it was super obvious and i believe in a trailer for the film so thats just stupid.

You might say the only thing that matters is the saw traps well in saw youd be right because they are well thought out and the consequences are brutal for both character and audience, in this the traps are medicore the puzzles are just stupid ranging from i could figure them out to so cryptic they can barely be solved unless you are one of the characters in the movie who somehow know exactly what to do and where to look. Oh and the deaths are barely shown so who cares theres no real weight to having acid if you dont get to see soeone get acid splashed it just cuts away.

This movie is lame its not worth your time unless you are incredibly invested in the most boring character from the first movie.

If you want traps go watch saw 2

4/10 for being mildly competant and having a decent soundtrack i guess.

Theres good stuff in here witty dialogue decent setpieces and as individual things these are all fun but put it together and it alll feels really ham fisted and rushed like he beats the bad guy in like 30 seconds after hugh grant does a little speech it was reaaly quick and not particularly rewarding to the viewer it just kinda happens.

Now that might make it sound bad cos the film is pretty bad but its worth watching for certain reasons, Jason Statham has some great lines in it and good banter with Bugzy, Cary and Aubrey Plaza not really Josh Hartnett hes kinda all around lame in this, Bugzy Malone has a couple scenes that shine really needed more screen time tho, Cary Elwes is really great in this just kinda fun to watch, Aubrey Plaza is obviously the best part shes very Aubrey Plaza but not Aubrey Plaza enough to make the whole movie weird just right why she is in a Guy Ritchie movie is beyong my comprehension but it kinda works, shame she wasnt in the gentlemen or something better.

Now we get to Hugh Grant doing his cockney routine from the gentlemen, it was good once but i think twice is overdoing it it has stopped being funny.

2 more positives and 1 negative to round it up. Great soundtrack for an action comedy and a really fun opening sequence with style, now the negative the action is boring as hell fistfights are lame. The shooting has no punch and the biggest sin is the lackluster bad guy fight i also dont think aubrey plaza got to fight any bad guys really she shot a gun at a car and thats about it, she mostly just had mouth closeuops intercut in the action which was odd.

So overall bad story with no payoff that seemed rushed but it did have promise and a talented cast who put some fun into this sinking ship of a film.

5/10 1 bonus star for Aubrey Plaza.

The only positives here is the alien design is cool but you literally see two human ones and 3 animal ones then they run away, so boring. There is 0 horror element despite being on shudder, ill not bash a bunch of kids who cant act ill bash the filmakers for thinking just cos stranger things did it we can too, that was lightening in a bottle kid main characters in low budget horror is usually just bad and this forwards that belief they were wooden had like 0 emotion and there 'authentic kid dialogue' sounded like something a 50 year old white man wrote.

It obviously had something to say about indiginous cultures in there and they were too opushy with it, usually i dont like being pushed agendas or whatever but this movie was so dull i wouldnt have minded some more indigenous culture stuff if i have to say that you know this movie is dull.

Dont believe the 5.7 rating it has this film sucks and the skin aliens look like they were copied straight from other movies, good concept terribly lame execution, if you cant hire good kid actors and you arent making a cheeesy 80s horror throwback just make the characters older.

This is about as crazy as the turbo killer short but even less comprehensible, obviously it looks and sounds stunning but its like some surreal drug fueled art installation came to life, its hard to know what to say about it like go watch it for yourself see if you can comprehend it, ill briefly try, giant naked women are robots that have been destroyed now gas mask red head is bringing them back in german perverts ship ton destroy humans with naked space dance parties where yoi spin women around to launch space debris, i dunno describing it is just hard but it looks incredible, the 80s synthwave aesthetic and score is top so go watch some giant naked space ladies fighting ships with synthwave music.

This is a simple military go into bunker fight evil. Mutants movie, like doom, resident evil, the outpost, its about as good as them but with a much smaller budget so thats admirable, its also the best shudder exclusive ive seen so thats a bonus point.

Its all pretty solid until 70 minutes in where it is incredibly bvious the movie had run out of steam and the writing staff must have been rushed into thinking of a reason for more people to die, they do that stupid plot point of man gets captured so they all go to save him and all but 2 die so 4 die to save 1 so stupid its all fine when the sas leader dies that makes sense but the black lass just kinda stops moving for no reason, the middle eastern dude just decides he doesnt want to live or something, british man 2 just dies despite being the only voice of reason. Its such a lamr way to kill of characters, if they needed to find like evidnce or plant a bomb fair enough but they dont cos the military is gonna bomb it for them. Its so lazy and blatently obvious they had run out of ideas im docking the to 8 stars, which is a shame cos apart from a bit of over the top actin this film is good fun.

Hit the ramp hard, soared well, did not stick the landing.

To really understand horror reboots/sequels you have to talk bout the original, a slow burn, suspensful, understated eerie horror movie. The original is a masterwork of surreal horror visuals and brilliant visual horror its not like creepy in your face scary but it has its moments of dread. And the best horror soiundttrack if not best soundtrack put to film by Phillip Glass who is a genius the soundtrack is definitely the most memorable part of the original as well as tony todds iconic performance.

Now that you know about the originl we get to this mediocre follow up. Sure its fine the visuals and style choices are excellent but theres just 0 eeriness or horror apart one great scene at the start when the guy walks out a hole in the wall, the rest is just meh even the kills are mostly offscreen or obscured which is pointless unless there is some suspense that the expendable characters might escape or fight back but they have no chance so you may as well show candyman candymanning them since there isnt really any atmosphere in the film to keep me interested.

Honestly until right at the end i was going to say thid was 7/10 good style with the puppets, decent music, not a reboot. But the ending just took any subtlety with the message of the series and said screw it with a hamfisted forced ending that really didnt make sense to the established rules of candyman, why did he kill the cops she said his name its not like he just kills white people he killed black people a couple scenes prior, not to mention i know police are bad but like would they shoot a man half dead lying on his wifes lap and how they did that without hitting her in the leg, its obvious they were out of ideas and judt said screw it this is a popular issue lets do that at the end, this mentality is lame political statements can be loud sometimes im not against thst but in cadyman where its quite a subtle and understated take on racial injustices just dont throw all that away write clever.

So in conclusion, movie mediocre, original better, fun visual style, decent soundtrack, very in your face toward the end losing any subtlety, removing all subtelty they didnt even think to entertain me with a bit of slasher stuff and the dialogue is very bad.

To there credit they did really time it well to get those extrta social awareness points from the critics so well done there i guess, cos the metascore is highe than the original by 20 points and no one thinks this is better than the original and if they do they shouldnt be movie critics itd be like saying i prefer the phantom menace to a new hope its ludicrous.

Tony todd has a wee cameo which is nice but with the amount of onscreen candyman he may as wll have played him fully.

Why did i watch this you ask, amazon prime reccomendation as netflix just wasnt working and with hat context you can already see i had 0 feeling this film would be good but i turned it on hile playing a game on steam and watched through only to be absolutely shocked at how slow paced an 80 minute movie can be theres just nothing. 10 minutes before they talk, 40 minutes before they even do anything remotely active where they randomly murder 2people for no reason i guess to be edgy unless you count swimming and showering which shouldnt really be the draw for a zombie movie.

But lets discuss what three things this movie with its settings and characters could be, tense survival horror, fraught reationship drama, goofy apocalypse girlfriend comedy, nah lets just do the first two somewhat but just incredibly drawn out and boring, there is barely any character drama, everything is so slow and oh my god do they just linger on shots of silent walking and several conversations of unapecified last times where something undisclosed hppened, the terrible acting doesnt help either.

There is like a full 1 minute shot of a girl taking a jacket off and putting things down 5o odd minutes in before you even see a zombie. Slow burn is fine but not in an 80 minute cheesy zombie film, this is a 20 minute short film stretched to 80, they couldnt even get it to 90, theres literally normal shots where nothing is happening played slower i hate this so much elongating a movie for no real reason, just have the girls sneak around zombies for longer with tense music instead of slow motion stream bathing, a longer conversation with the people they immediately murder maybe.

I could make a better movie if i had access to a resort and actors and thats really not a brag cos i dont think i could direct a movie but i could definitely beat this.

Just for the love of god put a few jokes in or an emotional moment or some real tension.

The box art also is terrible truly generic oh look attractive women ho ho watch this film for the skin type junk but at least it looks like someone thought about making it intersting good colour scheme big letter z its not awful and that is the only thing positive i can think to say, intersting box art, like i guess lgbt representation is nice it doesnt feel forced or hammy its just kinda treated ike theyre normal people without the big show and tell lots of movies have with gay characters which is kinda insulting a lot of the time trying to empower a community you just end up singling them out as different qhich is not really a great message but here theyre just generic interchangable lovers which i guess thats nice, in a better movie id praise that kind of portrayal of representation but this movie is dirt.

Like if the movie had just ended when kim got taken 7/10 since it didnt and they just plainly dont try and rescue her is just insane, they even had a dead one to show to the authorities, a 2 minute scene with a copper saying they couldnt find her but they,ll keep trying and seal off the house would have been nice, nope just she takes a picture to her that makes sense, no police involvement for the abduction of the woman you love what are you gnna say she just wandered off.

Genuinely i cant take it when movies show aftermaths of events that dont make sense just end it there no need to add a 2 minute aftermath scene that makes 0 sense couldnt even put police tape near the house.

Im so amazed at how stupid that is all the positive things i can think to say are the creature design is nice and i like the focus on the girl as the main character gives the terror some more layers, like theres obvious stuoid horror movie tropes like neglectful parents and stupid scenes of parents blaming there kid for something it would be incredibly hard for them to have done, but compared to the end thats all very forgiveable.

Do yourself a favour just turn it off right afer kim gets dragged down the hole.

Normally i would avoid being overtly negative but im gonna be, some of these cheap horror movies are quite innovative unique ideas, this is not one it had an idea that would be like a 10 minute short or some weird music video and stretched it out by having a poor actress covered in red stuff prance around the woods naked, then at the end had a poor special effects artist make her give birth to a full size woman, like im all for weird but you gotta balance the weird with an actual story, this was just an excuse for lots of red goo and naked women.

Only one of the actors in the movie looked like she wanted to be there the weird redneck lady the rest were just reading a script and getting paid, the direction and writing was also incredibly poor so i cant blame the actors, from an effects point of view the practial stuff looked good i guess the lghting was pretty sub par i was hoping for a more out there colour palette with cool neon lights like some cosmic horror stuff but i git 1 purple glowing effect.

Now the star of the show the music and sound, i will credit the sound effects they were cheesy and goofy almost comical to a point if intended thats good if not well i guess even screwing up in a funny way is good. Now the soundtrack by Wojciech Golzewski is phenominal i thought it was just a funky synth album before i knew the film existed, wish it had stayed that way check him out his work is incredible better than this deserves.

I believe this films comes under possibly like explotation maybe due to its excessive nudity and blood having nevr seen any of them bar Saw and Hostel i cant really comment if theyre all just excuses to show naked women covered in blood or if theyre actually competant movies with coherent plots so maybe im being harsh and this movie is just copying whats done before but boy is it lame as hell, if it was like a 10 minute short or a music video with some cool lighting like blood machine or something it could be interesting but it was just a bland looking movie that was desperately crying out for some crazy synthwave neon visuals like colour out of space, so it gets a 4/10 for the soundtrack and out of respect for that poor woman being naked the whole movie and being covered in fake blood, this could have been one of those cool cosmic horror synthwave style movies but it was just bad.

Korea is the new home of action sci fi, with this Carter, Sweet Home its all top quality and not hugely expensive to make the budget for this was like a tenth of an averagde american movie even an average netflix movie and it looks just as good if not better, there was also lots of english, french and a whole slew of other nations represented so it didnt feel like most korean, chinese and japanese sci fi does where theyre the only people who made it into space, also means less subtitles in action scenes so i can be more engaged not that i dont mind subtitles they just ruin the immersion in sci fi sometimes.

Now the film itself is excellent everything about it is good, the best part is the cgi, the id actor is decent as well which usually isnt the case, where it loses a grade for me is the tonal switches it can go from heartfelt to fart joke to literal grusome massacre, which happens on several occasions and it really feels out of place going from light hearted space adventure to poor downtroden dad looking at dead children for his dead daughter, then back to light hearted space adventure then back to devestating masacre by soace cops including the main kids dad, i at least thought the dad might survive nope this movie is dark but intermittedly so. It struggles with maintaining a solid tone and really puts you through the ringer, but its still a solid attempt and the korean netflux originals are the only reason i still have a netflix subscription so that tells you there quality.

9/10 coulfd be better written and tonallly whacked but its very nice looking and hits every sci fi checkbox.

Chadwick Boseman was very good as black panther, id rather have seen him recasted rather than the quite unlikable shuri take up the mantle, but thats the way it goes, she is the first reason this movie loses stars she just such a none emotive and bland character who brings nothing to the movie.

Now the good outweighs the bad you have the quite interesting Namor with a decent origin and good wings on his feet as well as his sometimes blue friends with cool outfits, the cgi on them is mid tier but they have moderately goods fight coreography so that makes up for it.

We have talked about the villains and there decent motivation, now we go to the heroes who have questionable at best motivation for heroes they are very deadset on not being heroic hell in one scene okoye cheers as riri wastes several coppers and doesnt try to protest or help when more get murdered but theyre willing to let wakanda die for this random smart girl but hey everyone else is expendable.

Okoye has decent character development and acting despite still retaining her awful accent and her violent tendancies, Nakia is completely the same character so meh, M Baku is the real hero here good acting good character devlopment the only good guy whos actually a good guy.

Now we come to the lamest charact Riri Williams shes just got nothing to offer, when she gets to wakanda she doesnt do anything shes a plot device, young black girl for wakanda to protect from nasty Namor, shes just kinda following the main characters and you dont even see her make her armour, speaking of the armour it looks awful, terrible cgi looks like blurry power ranger armour or something out of a old video game i think thats my biggest gripe with this movie ironheart is pointless and looks terrible shes a plot device nothing more.

Side note Martin Freeman gets less sctreen time which is a shame and he gets called coloniser twice which i dont think is very nice since hes the only american defending wakanda go call Elain from seinfeld a coloniser she has that mindset not poor Martin.

6/10 mediocre cgi, decent soundtrack, 50/50 character development, good villains, heroes suck mainly, lots of stupid sciuence with no explantion and i think theyre gonna involve wakanda in the thunderbolts movie so thats fun.

If this movie had some jokes or something then I could buy it as a dark comedy but it's an intentional horror thriller film that just isnt scary at all, it's incredibly predictable and its just badly directed and written, there's some decent camera work but that's about it.

The beginning starts off promising it lacks any and all subtlety and suspense and the wheelchair thing practically proves ghost's are real. That's about as good as it gets cos the rest of thus movie just goes out if its way to derail itself with having no understanding of character development and emotive writing and about a million predictable clichés, sappy generic music and slo mo scenes, loads of inception bwom sounds and the biggest offender is having dramatic themes such as suicide and grief and making it into a poorly written and borderline offensive portrayal and I just can't explain how badly done this all is.

Let's go out of our way to mention the guy trying to summon the ghost if his friend by attempting to assault his girlfriend then threatening to do it to his sister cos that's not immensely vile at all.

I've seen some Thai action movies and they are good so its not a Thailand problem, this 2 hour slog is messy, vile and not even unintentionally funny like bad American horror it's just unintentionally stupid, it gets pity laughs at best.

I might just stick to Japanese ghost movies much better written.