I just went to see it this morning and a huge pot of macadamia nut brittle vanilla ice cream wasn't enough to soften the bitterness (yes), I am thus compelled to write my first ever movie review in order to try and keep people from giving their hard-earned cash to whatever evil corporation struck this movie upon us.
This "movie" is about Chris Johnson, a guy who can see up to two minutes (except when the plot suddenly decides it's three hours) in the future. He uses this power in a cautious manner as to not attract too much attention on him and lead a peaceful life until he can finally meet True Love (tm), since he saw in a vision that a hot woman would one day enter his favorite restaurant at 8:09. So one day his dream finally comes true, although it turns out the girl in question is a gigantic prick. Not to worry though, Chris Johnson can see in the future WITH HIS MIND POWER and thus imagine every possible way to win the hot woman's heart, since everybody knows the sure-fire way to long term relationships is to hide your personality and put up an act. Sure enough when night comes up they end up in the same bed, and thus become lovers forever. Unfortunately this is the exact time European terrorists decide it's a good idea to bomb LA. At least I assume they are European, sadly there only was the dubbed version of the movie at my local theater but I think I heard one of them speaking German and another had his lips perfectly in sync with his voice, so he was probably French. Their motive is never explained. Thus begins a convoluted (by which I mean SHITTY) plot involving the two main characters making huge sacrifices for each other since they are True Loves and the bad guys being terribly retarded, accompanied by some of the worst CGI I've seen in the last few years along with horrible acting (although admittedly judgement is always clouded in dubbed movies). To top it all off, the ending is OBVIOUS.
Apart from Jessica Biel's beautiful body and the comic relief brought by Cage's haircut there is absolutely nothing remotely interesting in this movie, it simply is a gigantic waste of time and money. Tamahori made Mullholand Falls, Cage made, hell, he's acted great in tons of awesome movies, so I can only assume Next was intentionally made in order to crush the very minds of its viewers, then Tamahori can make a movie about it and get tonsa cash, there I discovered the whole plan. I will never sleep again until I get my 6 euros back.
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