Change Your Image
akhowson-93036
Reviews
Unforgiven (1992)
Would be good except...
It's boring and Clint Eastwood can't act. Put him in a movie with legends like Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman, and Richard Harris, and this sad fact becomes even more painfully obvious. His line delivery is just so out of place and comparatively terrible that it'd be laughable if it weren't actively ruining an otherwise OK movie. He's known for his "stoicism," but it's honestly more of an emotional vacancy so profound it comes across like he's doing a first table read. I'm struggling to understand the appeal. He is a competent director, for the most part, but there's really nothing all that special here.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
No one told Paul Rudd this wasn't supposed to be a comedy
Not exactly sure what I just watched, but I'm pretty certain it was not good. Got a few chuckles out of me, though, so there's that...
House at the End of the Street (2012)
Messy & cringey
Not even worthwhile as "so bad it's good" content. As boring as this review probably is to read.
The Loneliest Planet (2011)
Uh... why?
I mean, I get it, but I was bored to the point of annoyance by the entire experience. It continues to confound me that certain films garner the critical attention and adoration that they do, especially when they so thoroughly miss the mark on what makes for a compelling watch (hint: it's not 3+ extended shots of hikers walking across the screen). That this was marketed and categorized as a thriller is equally mystifying - "thrilling" is about the last thing I'd describe it as.
Not saying don't watch this, but I would suggest trying to find something better, unless you're in the mood for pretty landscapes and very little substance.
The Countess (2009)
Julie Delpy Should Not Write Screenplays
One of the most egregious examples of bad screenwriting I have ever witnessed. It would be an entirely unremarkable movie if the dialogue, narration, & plot weren't so mind numbingly stupid and if Delpy's delivery wasn't so laughably awful.
To make matters worse (speaking as someone who considers herself a feminist) the vaguely feminist statement this movie's trying to make falls entirely flat under the weight of its clunky delivery. It's really a shame - this could've been a good movie, but it ends up coming across as a Julie Delpy vanity project masquerading as an arthouse biopic.
I truly do not understand how this is such a well-reviewed movie. I'm a big fan of this genre & film style, but this one was a struggle to get through. Honestly the only things that kept me watching were Daniel Bruhl and a twisted desire to see just how terrible the writing could get.
TLDR I would not recommend this, unless you're looking for examples of how not to make a movie.