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Suspiria (2018)
Starts off well but botched the ending.
So, I've seen the new Suspiria, at last. Basically I thought it was ok. It's well shot and most of the actors were quite good. Although I did have a little difficulty with the psychologist, he seemed something of a caricature and I found the voice distracting. The film is in serious need of editing, it was painfully slow in places and quite boring. The original had more horrific deaths although the dancing death was very clever. It also didn't have the same dream qualities of the original. Although I loved the camerawork I didn't like the blurred slow motion. I found the entire ending weak. Should it have had such an extreme carnage scene or been more subtle ...... I think the latter.
The ending crescendo was botched with that music and voice over. I liked the backdrop of Berlin but I couldn't quite work out the importance of the dwelling on terrorism of that time.BTW I thought Yorke's score and songs was an inspired choice. Not a terrible film, but it does not hold a candle to Argento's candy colored Technicolor masterpiece.
Frankenstein Created Bikers (2016)
Disappointing
I liked James Bickert's absurd Dear God No, it was an original and highly effective homage to seventies exploitation cinema. I expected more of the same and therefore had high hopes for Frankenstein Created Bikers. Sadly the magic of Dead God No is nowhere to be found. The film starts on a strong note with a group of teenagers going to a lake only to end up being murdered by Bigfoot. Soon after Biker gang the Impalers show up and capture Bigfoot and bring him to a mad scientist. It's all downhill from here on and I was honestly glad when it was finally over. This would have made a great grindhouse faux trailer, but does not hold up over it's 125 minutes over-bloated running time.
There's some great moments (but they are few and far between) and plenty of gore and nudity. Praise also has to go Tristan Risk (American Mary), who steals the show in every scene. Ellie Church is also always great to watch. I love that they shot the film on 35mm. The biggest problem with Frankenstein Created Bikers are really the disjointed, incoherent script and the awful dialogues. The editing is also at fault with no real continuity.
Industrial Animals (2016)
Dark S&M Mockumentary
Industrial Animals is a British no budget mockumentary directed by Sam Mason-Bell (who also plays one of the main characters). Two filmmakers have taken it upon themselves to make a documentary about a prostitute. What starts out with a series of professional questions soon turns into 3 days of sex and full on humiliation involving spanking and water-sports. The prostitute seems unfazed at first but soon turns the tables on the masochistic director on the second day. The director plays along "for the good of the film". I'm generally not a big fan of found-footage sub-genre or mockumentaries but I did enjoy Industrial Animals for what it was. There are some daring scenes and it get's rather dark and disturbing. A pleasant surprise.
Nightmare Box (2013)
Interesting enough
Doom Room (also released as Nightmare Box) is a low budget British surreal horror movie directed and co-written by Jon Keeyes starring Debbie Rochon. A girl with amnesia (Johanna Stanton) wakes up in a locked room with no exit and no recollection of how she got there. Inside this room our Jane Doe finds herself taunted and abused by her captors and a series of paranormal entities who keep her from learning who she really is. This movie is like a hybrid between a fringe play and a b-horror movie. Doom Room is a bit slow and not without flaws, but an interesting take on the captivity horror sub-genre.
Model Hunger (2016)
The beauty process
Debbie Rochon's directorial debut is a smart, funny and multi layered horror film. Genre legend Lyn Lowry (I Drink Your Blood, Shivers) has been keeping busy in the past few years appearing in dozens of low budget horror gems and germs. In Model Hunger Lowry stars as Ginny, an aging model up against the heartless and sexist model industry. Ginny career is over and she is forced into retirement due to her age, leading her to exact bloody revenge on young and beautiful women. The film offers thought-provoking social commentary on how society treats women as they age while simultaneously being extremely funny and witty. Debbie Rochon feels right at home behind the camera and this film is testament to her talent and craft.
The Ranger (2018)
Park Ranger vs Punks
A deranged National Park Ranger is killing off a group of punk teens in this retro flare Backwood slasher by writer/director Jenn Wexler. Following an incident in a Punk club, 5 Punk kids are running from the police only to seek shelter in a remote cabin in a national park. This first half plays out like a teenage crime drama just before taking a sharp turn into predictable slasher territory. While The Ranger is not without it's charms it offers nothing new or unique to the genre and never fully lives up to it's potential. Pink haired Chloe Levine gives a solid performance, and so does Jeremy Holm as the Ranger. It's watchable, but nothing to write home about.
Sunset Society (2018)
Worth watching for Lemmy
Ace (Lemmy from Motorhead) is the leader of the Sunset Society, a secret vampire organisation in Hollywood were Hollywood's rich elite party in style and all the goth vampires go for tasty snacks. Lemmy passed away in 2015, it would appear before his parts could be filmed, a series of cool looking animated scenes with his voice-over fill in the blanks. This film is a hot mess, mostly due to it's painfully slow pacing, bad editing, mismatched soundtrack, horrible dubbing and an over-all amateurish feel (even for a low budget indie film of it's kind). Not much happens but seeing Lemmy in all his glory alongside porn legend Ron Jeremy makes it worth watching until the end.
Dead & Rotting (2002)
Spooky and original
Three redneck pranksters who work at the same construction side "accidentally" kill cat of an old witch called Abigail. Turns out the cat was actually her son and now the hag is out for revenge. She transforms herself into an attractive young woman (played by legenddary scream-queen Debbie Rochon in one of her best roles outside of Tromeo & Juliette) and decides to teach them all a lesson by seducing and killing them after blowing magic powder in their faces. They're now kept alive with a potion that allows them to experience their own rotting. I honestly can't understand all the bad reviews and low ratings. Dead & Rotting is an enjoyable and original trashterpiece that mixes small town paranoia with spooky atmosphere and some nasty turns and twists.
Superstarlet A.D. (2000)
Fear of a Female planet
Superstarlet AD brings you visions of a future full of primitive cavemen, Post apocalyptic beauty cults, the search for a historic burlesque film and a lot of topless women.
This kinky and utterly bonkers sci-fi musical from Troma defies logic and pumps up the volume to 11. If you want good acting or a coherent story structure, give this one a miss... but if you want women in 50's lingerie holding guns and fighting over the crown, then this skeevy, and extremely funny skin-flick is all you need.
The Miracle of Life (2013)
The miracle of life
A female bodybuilder Marianne (Pascal Maetens) gives birth in the gym to a living placenta and decides to raise it as a human, a christian, and a soldier.
The placenta named Luke grows up into a teenager and attends a normal high school where he falls in love with one of his classmates, but when his date does not go as planned Luke finds himself on an emotional downward spiral that leads to a killing spree. I think that Troma are the only people to still make real grindhouse and this Belgium zero budget sleaze-fest is easily one of the weirdest titles Troma has released in recent years. Utterly crazy and not always coherent the film proudly lacks good taste on every level.
Pet Sematary (2019)
Sometimes dead is better
I had big expectations for the new adaptation of Pet Sematary, most of which were crushed within the first 20 minutes. There were some nastier moments that I did enjoy and John Lithgow gave a solid performance, but the heart of Stephen King's classic story stays dead in the ground.
The remake of IT was a huge hit and got all the elements right, it felt fresh, had a great cast and just the right amount of nostalgia. Pet Sematary is the opposite, it feels tired, generic and most of the actors stumble through their scenes appearing just as bored as we are watching them. Stick to the book.
My Bloody Banjo (2015)
The Cult of Ronnie
My Bloody Banjo is the debut feature film by Liam Regan. A funny, gory, messy horror comedy gem that is slowly gaining recognition as a modern cult classic. Peltzer, a young office clerk and eternal loser seeks revenge on his co-workers and the bullies that have turned his life to a living nightmare, he can't do it though without the help and influence of his deranged imaginary best friend Ronnie. There's a lot of pitch black humour and over the top gore. Laurence R. Harvey from Human Centipede fame and Lloyd Kaufman both appear in minor roles as well.
The Dollface Slasher (2015)
Fun Slasher homage
A young couple on a movie date have their night ruined by a serial killer on the loose. I really enjoyed this comedic horror short film. This movie manages to capture the spirit of classic slashers and was clearly made by people who love and respect the genre. At only 11 minutes long and shot on a very low budget The Dollface Slasher packs a lot in a little package. The acting is a tad cringe-worthy aside from the always wonderful Kelsey Kukowski (Within These Walls/ Forgotten Tales).
Space Boobs in Space (2017)
A fun title is not enough.
Space Boobs from Outer Space is a collection of low budget shlock films by Andrew Shearer. While the box promises boobs and b-movie fun, there is little of either to be found here. This is basically a collection of random and disjointed comedy sketches with frat boy humour shot on a cheap camcorder. Don't waste your time.
Blessed Are the Children (2016)
Suspenseful Indie Slasher
Traci, a young troubled woman lives in Mississippi with her two best friends, she's being terrorized by her drunken ex-boyfriend, has issues with her mother and has fallen in love with a med student who does not return her affection beyond casual hook-ups. When she finds out that she is pregnant she makes the difficult decision to have an abortion. Upon leaving the abortion clinic she starts being stalked by a masked killer. Blessed Are the Children is a well crafted low budget slasher that gets the 80's look and feel right while tackling a sensitive subject like abortion with an open mind and open heart.
Slimed (2010)
In glorious Slime-O-Vision
An atheist park ranger and a bible salesman must join forces to save the world after stumbling into a slimey conspiracy while lost in the wilderness. A brainless yet seriously funny twist on nature horror and slimesploitation. Slimed is the over the top nonsense you need to turn off your brain and tickle your funny bone at the end of a long and stressful day.
The Nobodies (2017)
Waiting for Kaufman
This bizarre meta comedy mockumentary splices actual footage from a 1993 film called Pumpkin made by Alabama native and filmmaker Jay Burleson when he was still a teenager with a fictionalized fount footage style horror documentary about the "making of" Pumpkin and it's fictionalized director Warren Werener (played by Jay). A crazy a little film that's clearly influenced by Christopher Guest and American Movie. The Nobodies is a multi-layered, twisted, trashy and sadistic Troma film that sports some surprisingly intelligent humour. Do check it out.
Essex Spacebin (2016)
The Hitchhikers Guide to Essex
Shot in Chelmsford, this nonsensical, episodic comedy centres around an overweight woman called Lorraine (Lorraine Malby) who believes to have discovered a portal to another dimension in Essex. This low budget production packs a lot of surreal humour that is bound to please fans of Adult Swim and Troma. It is however very uneven and does overstay it's welcome but is weird enough to be worth a watch.
Hectic Knife (2016)
It was knife meeting you!
Knife wielding vigilante Hectic Knife roams the streets of New York City taking out evil any way he can and dispatches of thugs and druggies left and right. When a madman and arch enemy Piggly Doctor (J.J. Brine) wants to bring upon the end of the world, Hectic Knife rises to the challenge. This is pure exploitation mayhem from start to finish. Cheesy Indie film-making at it's finest.
Dickshark (2016)
Torture
It's pretty much just porn, except more talky and pretentious than regular porn. Despite the fun title and premise there is nothing to see here folks. Bill Zebub used to make entertaining movies but has apparently given up trying all together. Actors are either standing around talking about random stuff or they having sex. The only fragments of a script that exist involves some guy applying some cream to his genitalia and and shaping it into a shark.
Rose and Viktor: No Mercy (2017)
The Grindhouse version of Bonnie and Clyde
Rose & Viktor is Troma thrill ride oozing with sex and violence. Viktor "The World's Greatest Bassist" and his partner in crime Teenage Runaway Rose (played by fetish model Mercedes) team up to become bounty hunters for hire out for revenge. While the film lacks in the production department (sound particularly awful) This is one wild and fun movie.
Gutboy: A Badtime Story (2017)
World on a string.
Goot is a naked fisherman who wants nobody no harm, but then an evil capitalist, Besto, stops by and buys Goot's skin for a mere three Dollars. Robbed of his livelihood Goot now goes by the name Gutboy and meets a mermaid that grants him a wish. Gutboy defies logic but keeps you hooked in with it's own brand of nonsensical humour and attitude. A macabre "bad-time" story that will get under your skin... if you still have yours.
Spidarlings (2016)
Rocky Horror for the new millennium
A bizarre punk rock fairy tale filled with catchy songs, great one liners and a twisted sense of humour that packs a punch, makes a statement and entertains along the way.
Eden and Matilda are a lesbian punk couple living in Essex, they are two years behind with their rent and their landlord is losing his patience. To get out of their dire situation Matilda starts working in a night club in Soho called "Juicy girls" were all the girls slowly fall prey to a serial killer. Eventually the couple come across some money but instead of paying their rent they buy a pet tarantula which results in even more problems and leads to a bloody body horror finale.
Spidarlings is anarchic Troma cabaret with acid fuelled animation sequences that is progressive and gender inclusive while still cleverly pocking fun at pc culture. Loved this movie! A real gem.
The Middle Finger (2016)
A new symbol of Justice
It's hard to make a super-hero movie these days that stands out, even more so on a small budget. The Middle Finger packs a punch with originality and deadpan humour. Dennis is an insecure and lonely teenager who is ridiculed by his school mates and attacked by bully Ferg. Dennis comes in touch with an alien who has selected him to help protect the earth from an evil threat. Dennis is bestowed with special powers which enables him to change into a symbol of justice, a hero called The Middle Finger. The film might not have the big action sequences you would find in a Marvel movie. But give it a chance and you will find a uniquely charming slice of trash cinema with plenty of laughs and a new kind of super-hero.