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Reviews
Corbin Nash (2018)
An 80's Homage Gone Awry
If you can get more than 20 minutes into this movie before throwing in the towel, you have both my respect and my pity.
The kindest thing I will say is that I respect its attempts at 80's cinema homage, but it didn't pick and choose correctly. Whereas shows like "Stranger Things" do 80's homage very well, this movie reminds you of things that were kind of turdy about the 80's. It's like if your obnoxious Republican Uncle who was super into the Death Wish franchise got the reigns for a direct-to-video reboot of Blade with a white guy. Corey Feldman's Buffalo Bill-inspired antagonist is immediately and disgustingly transphobic. In a "doth protest too much" move, the movie goes well out of it's own way at least twice to express a totally non-plot-related violent hatred towards child predators only to affirm the main character as a white knight protecting a maybe barely-of-age stripper from gropers, and that is where I threw in the towel. That's when it appeared this movie was for an Incel only audience.
Somehow, 80's movie icons Malcolm MacDowell, Rutget Hauer, and Bruce Davison got roped into this. In lieu of watching the totality of this garbage, I read other reviews that confirmed my thoughts, so I suppose you could take this review as one who didn't watch it all the way through, but, again, if YOU can get further into it, be my guest.
The Calling (2000)
if you like bad horror movies, you'll still hate this.
**Potential spoiler although I didn't make it a half hour into this movie**
A quick peek at my movie selection, with such classics as Drainiac! and The Dead Hate the Living, shows how much I accept and appreciate a cheap-o horror movie. In fact, I bought this movie for $0.99 at Movie Stop because it had a pentagram on the DVD (it came in a regular clear DVD case). Had there been an actual box with it that said "a remake of the Omen starring that naked alien from The Faculty and the Borg Queen" I wouldn't have spent a nickel on it.
I watched the first twenty minutes or so before realizing that the movie made absolutely no attempt to differentiate itself from "The Omen" and turned it off.
If you've ever watched The Omen save the dollar you can purchase this movie with and buy a refreshing Coke instead. If you haven't watched the Omen, then I suppose you could watch this, it's not really that different, except it appears from the beginning to maybe have a happier ending. Again, I didn't finish it.
I give it a 3 because it has a little better acting and special effects than a Shock-O-Rama flick, but then again, it's less original and has absolutely no nudity, let alone any lesbian sex (from what I can gather from the first twenty minutes which had several great opportunities for nudity).
Wide Awake (1998)
What's this?
So I'm relaxing (sobering up) on a fine Sunday morning when what do I see on UPN (latterly CW)? this movie. I wasn't interested in it for the first few minutes, and then I saw Shyamalan's name come up on the credits as writer and director. Like any self-respecting movie connoisseur I grabbed the remote intending to change the channel to any other paid advertisement that would have been more worth my time.
Maybe it was laziness, maybe part of me was interested, maybe I felt bad about considering Shyamalan a hack after only watching and not enjoying one and a half movies of his (Sixth Sense and the end of the Village), but I watched it and it was great. Humor? Strong dialogue? Emotion? Utter lack of pseudo-intellectuality? This doesn't sound like Shyamalan!? What the (exp. del.) happened to this guy? M. Night Shyamala tackled a simple and realistic story and it worked, no ghosts, no superheroes, no aliens, no giant porcupines, and no water-nymphs, just a boy going through what boys go through, pure existential crisis (or in another word, "puberty") Of course it's also his lowest-rated movie on IMDb (not counting "Praying with Anger") which shows you something about the modern world.
So, my world was turned on its head. My brother always said "every good director will make a bad movie, and every once in a while a bad director might make a good movie" but I never expected something halfway this decent to come from Shyamalan. My new open mind concerning Shyamalan was soon re-shut when I read about his dissatisfaction with the movie and his lack of total freedom with the project. "Whew, what a relief. I was starting to think you weren't some story-driven, twist-crazed, formulaic egotist and were rather a guy who has trapped himself in his own image. Good to know I can still hate you. Oh, and liking the color red (symbolizing death in this movie, too, don't you know?) doesn't make you a genius or an artist, but making a movie (like this) that doesn't rely on plot twists to sustain the audience's attention, is a step in the right direction." For every one interested in a good cry, this movie takes some low-blows to get you there, but I'll be darned if they don't do the trick.