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Earth (2023)
3/10
Bewildering
3 March 2024
I watched the entire series, but am not really sure why I bothered. I generally enjoy nature documentaries and natural history documentaries, but this thing was a complete mess.

Firstly, the timeline jumps around all over the place, both between episodes and inside individual episodes.

The script is totally brain dead. It is full of dramatic pauses where the answer is completely obvious, only for us to have the narrator give us the answer a few seconds later.

The presenter has no real charisma.

The music is overly dramatic.

The special effects seem very repetitive and unnecessary.

By the end of the series, I felt like I knew less than when I started.
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Little Women (2019)
7/10
Took some effort to enjoy
9 April 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This was my first exposure to Little Women. I hadn't seen any of the previous movies, nor had I read the book. I watched this one because my daughter is currently reading the book at school.

My first impressions of the movie were largely negative. Everything was very confusing.

I felt the introduction of the characters was poorly done. We jumped from sister to sister to sister with only a brief scene, and I was struggling to put them all in my head.

Then we had a flashback, which had the message on the screen saying it was 7 years earlier. The actors largely looked the same, from what I could tell. What age were the sisters? Impossible to tell. But then the movie gave up on telling us whether we were watching things from the present or the past. As a family, we had to keep asking each other, is this another flashback?

Slowly the pieces started to fit, and I got more and more into the story. I appreciated the actors' performances, especially Saoirse Ronan who plays Jo. I felt the emotions she went through and really enjoyed the majority of the second half of the movie.

However, it was very hard to overcome the confusion throughout the movie. There were more puzzling things later on, like when did the father actually return? He came back in a dream with a welcome scene, but then when he came back for real, nobody reacted. I feel that there needed to be another half hour to give more structure to the whole movie.

Oh, and my daughter tells me the book is so much better.
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6/10
Nothing is real
8 January 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Okay, here's the spoiler, and here's the problem with this movie. NOTHING IS REAL!!!

Mysterio is a bad guy who uses projector drones to trick everyone that he is a hero. So half of what you see in the movie is not actually happening. Oh, and then as a little bonus, we discover that Nick Fury is also not Nick Fury, despite acting like Nick Fury for the entire movie, including having memories that the fake Nick Fury would not have had.

The action (just like the movie says) is all special effects. Some of it is good, some is definitely not. Despite plenty of property damage, nobody ever seems to get hurt. This gets so old so quick. No risk, no tension.

Oh, and Spider-man uses his spider senses to tell that everything is fake at the end, despite somehow forgetting that he has this power for 99% of the rest of the movie.

This is just another dumb superhero movie. If you can turn off your brain, you can enjoy it.
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7/10
Relies too heavily on its stars
8 December 2021
I watched this movie for the first time in 2021, over 50 years after it was made. I have seen a few other movies with Robert Redford and/or Paul Newman, which I have generally enjoyed. They are great actors and have some really good chemistry in this movie. Katharine Ross does a great job too, and the interactions for these three makes the great basis for a classic.

Unfortunately, not too much else can be said. The story just seems to meander along, occasionally giving a spark of excitement among lots of pointless nothing.

Overall, I am glad I finally got to watch this, but I don't think I'll bother watching it again.
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3/10
Lazy
1 October 2021
This movie is supposed to be a comedy. The humour revolves around old people falling over and having their genitals revealed. If that's your thing, knock yourself out. If not, give this movie a wide berth.

There is virtually nothing to recommend about this movie.

Yes, there are some big name actors. But they are given nothing by the script and so just mail in very lazy performances. The only decent performance was by the youngest granddaughter.

All characters are simple caricatures. You've got the moody older daughter fighting with her mother over a boy. You've got the dumb dad in a soul-crushing job. You've got the womanising old man. You've got the dopey friend who tries to be funny with every line he is given. And the grandson and grandpa are both so nice, but yet still play all these awful pranks on each other for the flimsiest of reasons.
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The Muppet Show: Anne Murray (1980)
Season 4, Episode 15
7/10
Great guest but the rest is pretty ordinary
6 September 2021
Anne Murray is a wonderful guest, singing three great songs: Snowbird, Walk Right Back, and Everything Old Is New Again.

Unfortunately, the rest of the show is pretty boring and seems like fillers. Other skits have no real inspiration, and the backstage story of Scooter riding his skateboard is hardly something to remember.
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High School Musical (2006 TV Movie)
4/10
Lazy and weak
8 August 2021
Before I watched this, all I knew about it was that it was a musical starring Zac Effron, and that it was the first movie in a franchise.

I generally like musicals. I have seen Effron in other movies and thought he was okay. And usually, if a movie is able to kickstart a franchise, it must have something going for it.

I quickly realised that this is a cheap, made for tv movie with very little effort put into making it good. The story is just cliché after cliché. The characters are one dimensional cardboard cutouts. The songs are instantly forgettable. And the singing is so bad that they had to dub it with obvious computer adjustment to the voices to make them sound passable. Oh, and the actors are really bad at making it look like they are actually singing.

How can this lazy pile of crud be so successful? REALLY!?!
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Up (2009)
4/10
Pixar continues to fall
17 January 2021
I remember the early years of Pixar movies. Time after time, they gave us more than any other studio, with fantastic stories, animation, acting and heart. Something for everyone, regardless of their age.

Then came Cars. This was not so good. Not bad, but not up to Pixar's standard.

Then there were Ratatouille and Wall-E. Both had great concepts and started their movies so strongly, only to slide into a boring mess.

And that brings us to Up.

The movie started so beautifully. The story of Carl and Ellie was like magic. It was incredible story telling, with so few words actually spoken. Could Pixar keep this up for the whole movie?

Sadly, the answer for me was NO. Everything collapsed as soon as the house went UP. All the other characters were annoying. The story was weak. The humour was juvenile. I felt like I was watching an episode of a Saturday morning Disney cartoon from the 80s.

So Up concludes the trilogy of good concepts badly executed. Another great start that peters out far too quickly.
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Maverick (1994)
8/10
Great fun
14 January 2021
This movie has a lot going for it. This is a wonderful mix of action and comedy, set in the old west. There are plenty of thrills, jokes, twists and turns, and even some excellent cameos.

The cast all look like they had a good time. They all have great chemistry and are extremely likeable, even the villains.

While the story is totally implausible, I'm happy to go along for the ride because it is just so much fun.
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4/10
A childhood favourite, but...
3 November 2020
I grew up watching the muppet show. I loved the muppet movie. I loved the great muppet caper. I loved muppets take Manhattan.

Now as an adult, I still love the muppet show and the muppet movie. I hadn't rewatched the great muppet caper since I was a kid. I remember it was great fun but couldn't remember any real details. So I was excited to watch it again with my kids.

The start was fantastic. Lots of jokes and everything was fun. However, once they got to Miss Piggy and the jewel plot, it all started to drag. There were still some good jokes here and there, and some very impressive puppetry too, but the story bored me to tears. My kids were very restless in the second half.

So all in all, it was a real let-down to revisit this movie. Thank goodness for Fozzy and Gonzo, who were the real stars of the show.
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Ratatouille (2007)
4/10
If I don't love it, I don't swallow.
11 May 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This movie looks great. The idea has lots of imagination. The set-up is superb.

So why is it so boring?

Once we get Remi and Linguini together, and they figure out how to work together, it all feels cliched. There is no real excitement to the story. Everything just slowly works its course.

Remi is cute and has a lot of heart, but the whole story of his family didn't really go anywhere. Linguini is very annoying, being such a clutz yet everyone just ignoring it. The love story was irrelevant. And what was going on with the bad guy (the little guy who was originally the head chef)? That whole story of him trying to use the restaurant's name for hocking instant food didn't really seem to fit with anything else.

Over all, this was a dish that looked and smelled great but had no real flavour.

I didn't swallow.
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Stormbreaker (2006)
4/10
Failed potential
16 March 2020
I watched this movie with my 12yo son who had read the books. I had never heard of it. We were both disappointed.

I was confused by the story, since there is almost no time given to plot direction. There is lots of running, jumping, weird fighting and weirder characters. Without reading the books, I had no idea who the characters were.

My son was annoyed because the movie was a poor imitation of the book.
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'Allo 'Allo!: The British Are Coming (1982)
Season 1, Episode 0
10/10
A brilliant start to the series
20 February 2020
It is amazing how much is fit into just one episode. We are introduced to almost all of the major cast, and immediately get a picture of what makes them tick. Many of the running gags from the series are there on display. And the basic stories that stretched through most of the series, that of the missing painting and the stranded British airmen, kick off right here.

And there is still time to get some great laughs in as well. Highlights are Rene and Gruber's first interaction at the cafe, the struggle between the French and English to communicate, and Hans hiding the cuckoo clock.

Truly, the perfect start to a wonderful series!
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2/10
Rewatched again after many years
18 November 2019
I remember the excitement of seeing this movie when it was first released. The hype in the cinema was palpable.

The opening was near perfect. The music and effects felt just right. The introduction of Obi Wan and Qui Gon was really cool, and the droids were an interesting addition.

From there, the movie went down. The acting was stiff (largely due to the types of characters concentrated on, jedis and politicians). There was little chemistry between any of the actors (something that was always present in the original trilogy). And Anikin was this annoying little kid, saying "yippee" and "oops". Let's not mention the comic relief character.

The script was very uninspiring, full of dull conversations about politics. The story jumped from one thing to the next seemingly randomly. The pod race felt like a 10 minute ad for a new computer game. Given it was obvious Anikin was going to win, the whole thing lacked any real tension. The realisation that Palpatine was going to be the Emperor came early and then that spoiled any other real drama.

Then the big battle(s) at the end. We had comic relief character falling over and killing people, the jedi chopping endless droid in half, and Anikin winning the whole war by accidentally pressing the wrong buttons over and over.

The only shining light was the fight between the jedi and Darth Maul. This was far superior to anything in the original trilogy, but was nowhere near enough to save this movie.

============================================================

Now, over 20 years later, here I was watching this movie again. The only reason I was watching it was because I had shown my kids the original trilogy and now they wanted to see more. I hoped that my initial disappointment was due to having too high expectations.

NOPE!

I sat there for 2 hours, watching stiff acting, awful scripts and now dated special effects. The humour fell flat. Chemistry was non-existent. I had to keep listening to my kids asking why people were doing what they were doing (something that never happened in their watching of the original trilogy).

At least the Darth Maul fight was still good.
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