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Reviews
Ju-on: Origins (2020)
What the films should've been.
As good as the first film was, I would've worked much better as a series, like Yamishibai. They could've even gone the whole Twilight Zone route and introduced all manner of terrifying Japanese folklore. I like Onryo folklore as much as Wendigo folklore. It's deeply terrifying because of how they exploit our deepest fears. There many tales of the Onryo that could be told, but cinema, in my opinion, isn't the place to tell those stories. I feel Western audiences don't appreciate this kind of horror because of the deluge watered down popcorn nonsense that we've received over the last few years. Plus, our culture doesn't allow for digestion of such visceral horror. We want instant gratification in the form of jump scares, not existential dread we carry with us after the film or show is over. People are seemingly more entertained by monsters they can see (I mean, seriously, that's what zoos are for) than the dread and foreboding they inspire or what the threats represent. Short answer: after a long day at work, people don't want horror movies that make you think.
The Forest (2016)
Good with room for improvement
This movie was good but I feel there were some improvements that could have been made. The first Improvement that could be made is Sara's motive. The whole "twin's intuition" thing just feels insufficient. The motive could have been that Sara has try to contact Jess several times to no avail and that's why she is going to Aokigahara Forest. The second improvement is that the jump-scares could be cut way back. We don't need to be reminded that ghosts are scary. A majority of the payoff of classic horror movies is the atmosphere or ambience. Another improvement, going back to the beginning, is the abrupt beginning of the film. I feel like there should be a build up to Sarah's motive for going to Japan. Not that I expect this to be a good justification for why I think the film is good, but at least it's not found footage style. I realize the whole "it could have been worse angle" is not entirely convincing to most people. My point is there could have been some creative liberties taken that would definitely have made the film better. One creative liberty that I kind of like but felt they could have improved on was how the ghosts lingered in the background. The improvements that could be made are not relying on jump-scares as the payoff and being a bit more subtle about the ghosts' presence. Overall it's an interesting concept but there are some simple fixes that would have made the execution a bit better
Deadcon (2019)
All "dumb," no "deep"
Apart from the fact that this is a blatant and one-dimensional ripoff of 1408, this film hops on the bandwagon of everyone and their grandmother making commentary pieces on social media. The characters are unrealistically dumb and the plot makes absolutely no sense. Life is short, don't waste it watching this dumpster fire....unless you find incoherent garbage like this to be unintentionally funny, and if that's the case, have fun!
Unfriended (2014)
I wish I could unsee what I saw, but I can't.
This movie is a massive blunder. I'm completely convinced both the directors and the writer are utterly clueless about what teenagers are really like. The characters weren't written to be believable. They're all revealed , rather than making them sympathetic, which took me out of the moment. The idea of horror is to make you fear for their safety, not make them out to be horrible and worth killing off. There was a scene where Val called the police to report a cyberbully. She. Called. The. Police. She dialed 911. There's nothing they can do and it's not even an emergency. There's a non-emergency line you can call, but that's not an emergency. The physics of this film make absolutely no sense. There are a few sequences where the characters are moving around and the screen clearly shows that they are typing. How does one type that quickly with one hand? I have yet to meet anyone that can type at 60 words a minute standing and walking around. There was another scene where Blair asked what a troll was.....I'm not even kidding. She also demonstrates how absolutely illiterate she is with computers. She frantically clicks on everything in one scene when she could simply listen to what she's being told by Ken. There's more, but I don't even want to think about what utter garbage I just witnessed. Nelson Greaves talked about the concept and said that it sounds idiotic but it works. Nelson, it doesn't just sound idiotic, it IS idiotic. You're a terrible writer, leave Hollywood and get a real job.
Charlie Charlie (2016)
Misleading Categorization
This movie is listed as a horror, but by the end, I thought it was a parody. The characters were hilarious instead of dramatic, with many of them being manifestations of stereotypical millennials. The screams and emotional acting were either overacted or underacted, which I suspect was on purpose. There was a scene where one of the haunted house staff came out from a corner dressed up as a mariachi. Everyone in my house burst into laughter. Even the way he was moving was hysterical. He didn't prance, skip, sneak, or walk past them. He moved smoothly, like he was on a skateboard! The deaths? Don't even get me started.... Each character that's scripted to be a red shirt, like Kenny from South Park, dies IN THE DUMBEST WAYS POSSIBLE. The Selfie Girl, at the end, somehow ends up with the pencils gouging her eyes out. I know it's implying that she started a new game when she called Charlie, her friend's name twice, but how can someone have that rotten of luck?! There's no way this was a sincere attempt at a horror film! If you're expecting a horror comedy, you've come to the right place! If not, look elsewhere!