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sarmoti_tiger
Reviews
The Family Stone (2005)
Horrible film about horrible people
Everett (Mulroney) takes his "uptight" city girlfriend Meredith (SJP) home to meet his family for Christmas. His family turns out to be the biggest bunch of fake, hypocritical, horrible and judgemental people you'll ever meet and have decided, even without meeting Meredith, that she's unworthy of any hospitality.
Let's think - boyfriend brings you home to meet the family anyone would feel nervous. However, when Meredith greets the family in a slightly shaky voice, it is only further proof that she's not "free-spirited" enough to join their happy clan in the hills. I'm not sure why exactly the family did not like her but I THINK it may have something to do with the fact that she was super polite and tried to be respectful. I mean, no doubt, the family would have accepted her in a sec if she pranced through the door, ripped her clothes off and asked them to join her around the fire to smoke pot.
The horrible sister Amy (McAdams) says she hates Meredith because Meredith once took her to a nice restaurant and she also likes to clear her throat. Let's remind Meredith to bring Amy to a back alley for dinner next time and keep the phlegm gargled at the back of her mouth. The mother (Keaton) joins in the fun as is also, horrible; Ben (Wilson), the hippie brother falls for Meredith at first sight (so we can assume that his love for her is shallow and only physical) and starts hitting on her despite the fact that she's his brother's girlfriend. Etc.
There's also the gay deaf brother who has a black boyfriend. This very brother tells Everett straight on "please don't marry her (Meredith)" although he has known the girl for less than 24 hours. You'd think he'd understand the importance of being supportive and non-judgemental
Meredith eventually calls her sister Julie (Danes) in for help. Julie is the opposite of Meredith - she's free spirited and is probably the president of the "save the whales while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro" club (She falls off the bus and she doesn't even care!!). Everett falls for her at first sight (so again, we assume this is only physical because he knows nothing about her). Way to go Everett, fall for your girlfriend's sister on the day you plan to propose to her!! Immediately, the family flocks to Julie like flies to a carcass while Meredith is helping with dinner and is lonerised in the corner. At the dinner table (and this is the scene which made me so upset for Meredith that I ACTUALLY cried), Julie asks the gay brother questions about what race he wants his adopted child to be (since he's in an interracial relationship). Julie touches on the issue of race and everyone smiles, giving it the "that's a very good profound question" nod. Then Meredith brings up the topic of homosexuality, asking if he thinks it's going to affect the child. OK, maybe she didn't phrase it well but it was obvious she was NOT being a homophobe (If she WAS homophobic, would she be eating dinner with 2 gay men AND spend the entire afternoon with the gay black guy in the kitchen??). Meredith is surprised by the fact that the mother says she "wished all 3 of her children would be gay" and the family immediately labels her as the disgusting narrow-minded a-hole (yes and the father even yells at Meredith). Funny that, When Julie asks, the family sees her as being "curious and interested" but when Meredith asks, she's "offensive and rude".
Naturally, Meredith runs out in tears. Ben runs after her while the BOYFRIEND just sits there. Julie doesn't look too bothered either and instead of seriously looking for her, the two end up having a pleasant little walk in the snow, talking about their dreams and goals. It's disparing that Ben, the brother who's known Meredith for only a couple of days seems to be more concerned about her well-being than her own boyfriend and sister. Everett even has the audacity to ask Julie if she wants to "go get a coffee" while Meredith is still missing!!! Meredith spends time with Ben, get a coupla beers and suddenly turns "free-spirited" (she lets her hair down!! REBEL!) Then we know what happens, they end up in the same room (though they don't sleep together) and Everett realizes he loves Julie. Everett tries to get Julie to try on the wedding ring he intended to give Meredith. When Julie kinda refuses, he almost forces it onto her finger...romantic. I find it even more disturbing though, that as a sister, Julie didn't go up to Meredith and say something like "dude, your boyfriend is totally hitting on me". Instead, she starts to feel that she also loves this strange man that she's just met the day before (though there is no indication of any type of relationship development between the two. Finally, everyone confronts everyone and then follows the typical, everyone starts fighting, they all fall down and start laughing out loud together and then it seems that all the meaness from before is forgotten and everyone becomes best friends forever.
Meredith ends up with Ben and Everett the a-hole ends up with Julie the a-hole. Meredith seems to be TOTALLY OK with that and neither the sister or Everett seems to feel bad at all (note, the two began flirting with each other while Meredith was still going out with Everett). Who cares, Meredith will have the joy of telling her nephews and nieces "I, your auntie, slept with your father".
And inbetween all of this, we find out the mother has breast cancer. So there's a lot of crying from the family, then a lot of meaness, then a lot of crying, then a lot of, you get the idea. I'm still confused as to how the cancer bit fits with the "romantic comedy"
The Perfect Man (2005)
PERFECT if you're looking for the stupidest movie
"Perfect Man" follows the life of Holly (Duff) as she struggles with her inept mother, Jean (Locklear). Firstly, the plot itself is a sinker. Basically, Jean is a single mother of 2 who finds the need to move to another state every time she gets dumped by a guy. That is the most unreasonable thing I've heard since Veronica got mad at Betty after she had a dream that Betty kissed Archie (take my word for it - it was pretty unreasonable). However, according to the makers of "Perfect Man", such unreasonable behavior breeds comedy ("I'm jeopardizing my children's future. HAHA - that's so funny") Because of her mom's lack of rational thinking, Holly has never been to a prom (shock horror). Perhaps if she got up and told her mom that she was being utterly crazy and selfish instead of just sitting there complaining on her weblog and calling herself a "teenage gypsy", she could've made some progress with the situation. Then again, if Holly was smart enough to do that, we wouldn't have this movie. In fact, that'd be true if ANYONE in the movie was smart. No wait...Holly's little sister is smart - after all, she did win the spelling bee. My bad.
It gets worse. Holly moves to Brooklyn where BAKER mom manages to afford an amazingly pretty, spacious apartment. Jean starts work and immediately, the loser bread-maker (O'Malley) asks her out. Holly freaks because this means she'll have to move again in the not-so-distant future as mom goes into selfish mode again. Holly's life is also full of surprises. First day of school, she becomes best friends forever with Amy (Lengies) and already has an admirer in quiet comic book guy Adam (Feldman). Apparently, taking someone's seat makes you very attractive...that's what made Adam take an interest in her.
Back to freako-mom's case. Holly doesn't want to move anymore and so teams up with Amy to "trick" her mom into thinking she has a secret admirer. The two base this "perfect man" on Amy's restaurant owner uncle, Ben (Noth...who was also the reason why I actually watched this sad sad film) and subsequently ask him for advice on how to woo women. Ben, being in the movie, is also not very bright and actually believes that the girls need this type of information for school. So, following Ben's advice, they start sending Jean flowers and letters. Jean, who just arrived in town does not find it creepy that she already has an admirer who knows where she lives and happily accepts these gifts. Chalk one up for Holly's brilliant plan!! As expected, the lie gets more complicated and Holly eventually has to send her mom a picture of her admirer to convince her that he's real. Being so shrewd, she sends Ben's photo and even names the imaginary admirer "Ben". In the 21st century when we have access to magazines and internet to look up pictures of people, she chooses to send a picture of a man who lives in the same neighborhood. A lot of wooing ensues which is quite disturbing in many ways. One, the wooing is between mother and daughter which is just wrong. Two, Jean STILL doesn't find it creepy that this "secret admirer" who she's never met in her life is sending her some pretty mawkish messages. Three, Holly enlists Adam to act as Ben and talk to Jean on the phone. He starts imaging that he's talking to Holly and starts to say that he loves her...pretty disgusting considering mom's on the other line.
Holly is probably addicted to deception. Not only does she lie to her mom and toy with her emotions, she also uses Ben. In one part, Jean goes to Ben's restaurant. Scared that they might see each other, Holly sets off the sprinklers in the eatery, chasing out ALL of Ben's customers and practically destroying his restaurant. Does Holly feel bad? Nope! At another point, she goes up to Ben's house alone despite only meeting him 2 times (if I were Ben, I'd be pretty freaked) and realizes that he TRULY is perfect for her mom. Her reason? They both do the Times crossword puzzle in pen!! Like Duh! OK, I exaggerate, there was also something about the moon and having a nice kitchen. Holly has some really weird way of determining whether two people are soul-mates or not. After realizing that Ben is perfect, Holly runs, in a very dramatically, to stop what she believes to be Ben's wedding to another woman. This woman and Ben could've had an 8 year relationship or something before but Ben and Jean both do crossword puzzles in pen so whatever to the other woman - she's not Ben's soul-mate. Turns out, Ben was just best man at the wedding but Holly manages to wreck it anyways. Does Holly feel bad? Nope! Ben gets angry (FINALLY) and Holly amazingly manages to make it seem like he's the unreasonable one. When Jean finds out that the whole admirer thing was just a scam, Holly's the one who yells at her mom. Not once does she apologize for her totally unacceptable behavior.
Well, it's a Hilary movie so it all ends well. Holly finally opens up and admits that she likes Adam and she realizes her dream of going to the prom. Ben finally meets Jean and they hit it off. All loose ends are tied off which should be very satisfying but sadly, is not because this is such a ridiculous movie about how lying and cheating can get you what you want. None of the actors are convincing in their roles (Locklear as woman who can't get a decent boyfriend? Hilary Duff as the insecure outcast-ish character? Like in ALL her movies? Someone as cute as Ben Feldman as the not-so-noticed geek?).
Still I HIGHLY recommend watching this movie to see how UNBELIEVABLE and selfish these people really are!!
Unleashed (2005)
Fantastic acting from Jet Li
"Danny the Dog" is a nice, heartwarming in a very weird kind of way movie(makes you go "awwww" but at the same time Li's character Danny is punching the brains out of someone). You have to feel sorry for Danny especially during scenes where you see him eating out of a can and being locked up in a cage. Jet Li's acting is really convincing both as an innocent and child-like character and as a killing machine. It's showing Li's more diverse acting side which I think is a really good thing because it eliminates the idea that all Kung Fu actors can do is fight on screen.
Morgan Freeman is expectedly good as the kindhearted blind piano-playing man who takes Danny in and teaches him about love (wonder if you've noticed - kind men in movies who take in the 'outcasts' are usually blind and play piano). Li is cute as Danny (the scene where he eats ice cream for the very first time) and doesn't look as if he's aged since "Once Upon a Time in China". The fighting scenes are of course, freakishly cool...you'd expect no less from Jet Li. But, unlike some of Li's other work, the fighting, especially in the beginning is much more "deranged" and I guess "messy". This gradually progresses to a more normal Li style "clean" (if you watch a lot of Kung Fu movies, you'll see what I mean - it's usually not just mindless punching but it actually LOOKS good) type of fighting. This I think is a REALLY clever transition as it shows the change in Danny's character to the fullest (from uncontrollable mad-dog fighter to the post-meeting-blind-piano-playing-man fighter who doesn't want to hurt people anymore).
There are some unexplained incidents though. Like how the evil dude (Hoskins) and his croonies managed to live through not only a complete gun ambush (from all directions) but also a 360 degree rotation car crash. Or what EXACTLY happened to Danny's mom (was she a piano player? Was she a whore? Was she a piano-playing whore?) and WHY exactly was she killed. It's not a believable movie but then again, if I wanted 100% reality, I really wouldn't be watching a movie would I? Not the best film ever but it makes you feel good. Definitely worth watching and some of Li's best ACTING work.
Ying xiong (2002)
Crazy beautiful artwork of a movie!
"Hero" is so beautiful it's almost borderline crazy. I've never payed so much attention to a film's color, scenery and such before...the cinematography is just mind-blowing.
The story is good - Jet Li plays a nameless hero who meets the Emperor of Qin after he defeats 3 of the Emperor's most powerful assassins (Sky, Flying Snow and Broken Sword played by Donnie Yen, Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung respectively). The "hero" explains to the Emperor how he defeated the 3 assassins, prompting a series of flashbacks. After hearing the stories, the Emperor realizes that the "hero" is actually the most dangerous assassin of all and everything was just a set up for him to get close enough to the Emperor so he could use his special move "Death at ten steps" which is such an uber-cool name.
What's interesting is the film's use of imagery to tell the story. During the first set of flashbacks about Broken Sword and Flying Snow, everything is in red: everyone's wearing red, the background is red, everything. Move on to the king's interpretation of what really happened: everything is in blue. Finally, "hero" reveals the truth and the flashback shows everything in white (and there's also this green scene which cannot be missed!). It turns something which could have potentially been amazingly annoying (three flashbacks of pretty much the same incident) into three separate stories. The scenery is also something to be amazed at. The fighting scene on the lake between the hero and broken sword is one of the most beautiful moments I've ever seen on a screen. Without all the brilliant cinematography the film would, quite frankly, not even be half of what it is. Don't take that as a bad thing though because honestly, it's just too pretty to not be watched. You'll probably want to watch it again just to analyze the film's use of color.
The fighting too, without a doubt, is worth a mention. Of course, with Jet Li and Donnie Yen in it, action and intense Kung Fu is expected. Li is his usual amazing Kung Fu fighting self but all other characters, like Cheung's character and Zhang Ziyi's character also do some impressive butt-kicking (the fight scene between those two female characters is also amazingly beautiful. Both are dressed in red and fight in the midst of swirling yellow leaves).
With the actual acting, it's all convincing. Li maintains a placid face almost throughout the entire movie and this just makes his character all the much cooler. Donnie Yen is good in his part...although it lasts for like 10 minutes and he has a really annoying strand of hair in front of his face. Maggie Cheung is incredibly cold...which is a good thing because that's what her character is. Zhang Ziyi is....well...her character is pretty weird so let's forget about that. In terms of Tony Leung, personally, I don't think he looks very Kung Fu-esquire so it was weird for me to see him as one of the "most powerful" assassins (there's this one bit when Jet Li's character explains to the king: "Broken sword (Leung's character) is probably equal to me in ability" and I just couldn't help but find that weird because Leung just didn't look it. I know I'm supposed to think of them in terms of the characters they were playing and not the actual actors...but seriously...comparing Tony Leung to Jet Li in terms of Kung Fu???). He looked more nomad-like than anything else but other than that, his acting was good...just a matter of me not being a fan of him.
This movie's not perfect though of course. Some bits were just plain weird (like the scene where "hero" and Sky fight 'in their minds' which I kinda thought, yea right they're gonna close their eyes in a middle of a fight and leave themselves totally open for attack). Even though the movie itself is not that long, it IS extremely slow paced. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I watched "Fist of Fury" just before watching "Hero" but to me, even the fighting scenes seemed slower than grip-the-edge-of-your-seat speed. I guess that it's deliberate because again, it does make it more beautiful and this movie isn't trying to be the next blood and guts action movie with monster trucks.
So I guess, if you're looking for an all out action flick, rent Die-Hard instead (or "Fist of Fury" if you want Kung Fu fighting). If you're looking for something that will totally amaze you and make you want to live in a pagoda in the middle of a lake in China, Hero is the way to go. Good stuff. Makes you think...and most importantly, has JET LI (and he's the coolest character!!)
Huo Yuan Jia (2006)
One of the BEST movies I've ever seen
This is one of the best movies I've seen. I watched it on it's first day of release in Hong Kong and WOW! After watching it, I've never been more proud to be Chinese. I must've cried like three times during the film and I'm someone who does NOT cry even if you use dry sticks to poke my eyeballs.
I know it's the typical Chinese Kung Fu film formula: main character is good at Kung Fu but is hot-headed. Stirs up trouble and does something bad. Loses something important (e.g.family members) as a result. Goes to some distant nature-filled land and learns the true meaning of life. Comes back as a true hero. Still, it works and it really actually did make me learn something myself. The beginning might be a little unrealistic - with the fighting in the restaurant (when there was a perfectly decent area OUTSIDE the restaurant for them to fight...somewhere where they probably wouldn't have cause thousands of dollars worth of damage) and boring - the bit where he goes to the nature-filled land...too long and not ENOUGH development to show the significance of that bit. When he comes back after "rediscovering the true meaning of martial arts" it's all good from there.
From the AMAZING fight scenes where Jet Li defeats all these guys who are like 34 times bigger than him to the quiet talking scenes with Li explaining to the Japanese guy about tea, this is all really meaningful stuff and Jet Li manages to pull it all off...so it's not just mindless punching...which I guess...is good or bad depending on different people (personally, I like it). REALLY, the fight scenes at the beginning with the 3 foreign fighters were just awesome!! The final fighting scene with the Japanese warrior was REALLY REALLY sad. Jet Li's character Huo gets poisoned but still fights on and that whole bit will just seriously make you want to cry your eyeballs out. I know it's not exactly what happened in REAL history but this ending is really really good...really shows people what a true hero should be like.
Sad that this is Jet Li's last Kung Fu film but it's such a great way to end a great career. I'll miss Jet Li's films because they just always make Chinese people look so cool. A 10/10 because it's the first film to make me GENUINELY learn something about life...yes...cheesy.
Romeo Must Die (2000)
Good...but over-the-top Chineseness
I read some not-so-great reviews about "Romeo must Die" so I really didn't have my hopes up high. I only decided to watch it because I love Jet Li. Good thing I did watch it!! It was SO cool!! Jet Li didn't disappoint - not only was his fighting as 'wow' as ever (and I know, a lot of people think too much CGI was used, compromising his true abilities. I agree with that, but you have to admit, it still looked pretty dayam good), his dramatic acting is amazing too!! However, living in Hong Kong, I DO have a few problems with the film. Firstly, it REALLY exaggerates the whole Asian thing, making it seem like we Chinese all practice Kung Fu in our backyards while drinking Oolong tea every day...which in fact, is NOT what Hong Kong people do (yes, I'm sorry if I'm shattering some dreams here - Hong Kong people do too watch television and shop and do things other than learn Kung Fu. In fact, you'd be hard-pressed to find one person in Hong Kong who knows martial arts Jet Li style). The Chinese people in the film all have names like "Po" and "Han" and say things like "let's show them our true strength"...I'm surprised they didn't put some phrases like "Let's summon our family's ancestral dragons" in. ALSO, I was really confused when they showed Hong Kong. It was nothing like the Hong Kong and all but one person spoke in Mandarin (most people in Hong Kong speak cantonese). I'm not sure if that bit WAS actually Hong Kong but...if you're going to say that he's in prison in Hong Kong, why choose a place which does NOT give a proper image of Hong Kong? There must've also been some confusion with Chinese and Japanese because I swear, at times, Han's (Jet Li's character) dad seems more Jap than anything...
Still, I liked the film. There wasn't enough development between Jet and Aaliyah but Jet Li still looked really cute. Jet Li really kicks something serious in the movie and so I let all the other things slide - even the idea that the Chinese guys turn out to be the bad guys and the black guys turn out to be actually...awww...really nice people. Lindo was good and Aaliyah was REALLY REALLY good. It's sad - she would have made a terrific actress and I'm happy that she did leave behind at least this movie.
Watch this movie. I just realised that my review doesn't actually sound too positive but trust me - I really did like the film. In fact, I'm going to watch it again now!