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10/10
Surprisingly good and original for low budget horror!
4 July 2014
Just seen it on the Horror Channel and quite liked it!

It obviously had a low budget but considering it was filmed in SURREY I thought the western scenes were well done and added to the mystique and legend of it all.

Acting was also pretty good and I don't know why people have a go at the gorgeous Natalia Celino as she wasn't bad (she didn't have much acting to do other than snarling or saying cryptic things!) and let's be honest is best when naked!

The plot and mirror could have been better explained but the locations were great (loved the cave scene), it was well shot in the snow (the final scene is rather 'Badlands' in its lyricism) and well acted by all especially Doug Bradly, Jonnie Hurn and young Rita Ramnani.

And the western soundtrack is fantastic. This in no way deserves an average rating of 3! It's more a solid 7/10 from me!
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Misfits (2009–2013)
8/10
Pretend series 5 never happened... (overview of Overman)
1 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Although this is essentially X-Men (the twenty-something years) I was a big fan of the show up until the last 3 episodes of Series 4 when it started to go dramatically downhill. The first 3 1/2 series had superb humour, twists that'd genuinely surprise you and some of the best acting by a cast you'd never heard of before. And I'd never seen anything like it...

It also included two of the funniest characters ever created in Nathan and Rudy. Why Nathan wasn't brought back to give S5 a massive boost in the last episode I'll never know but it would have been great seeing him with Rudy. The closest we got was a telephone call between them in the webisode 'Vegas Baby'.

But anyway - onto S4 and in getting rid of Simon, Alisha and Kelly it just lost that spark it had and the final 2 episodes of Curtis seemed rushed and unfair. His character was only 3 episodes away from the end of the series after all. Couldn't series creator Howard Overman have let him carry on so we wouldn't have to suffer the idiot himbo Alex and the tediously dippy and unfunny Abbey in this series???

So I like to pretend that series 5 never happened as it was so awful, lazy and frequently unfunny - and a bit gross. I don't really want to have to think about tortoise shagging or who Abbey really is? Who cares? Both Alex and Abbey added precious few funny lines and seemed surplus to requirements. It was left to Rudy and Finn to try and be funny with occasional help from Jess.

And whilst I liked Jess and Finn, they weren't a match for the characters we'd lost. I found them funnier in S4 to be fair. And the final misguided story lines in S5 of Jess and Rudy getting together (like that'd really happen after she said in S4 it never would and she found him disgusting) and the rival evil 'supervillians' which were about as threatening as soggy pop tarts? Utter letdowns!

I think Overman was getting bored in the last series to be honest and that's why he farmed some episodes out to the mysterious Jon Brown (who didn't seem to appear in interviews). And his writing wasn't half as good or funny as the Misfits creator's was sadly.

All in all if you're a fan of the first few series of Misfits it's probably best you do what I did and just buy the first 4 series box set and try and shut out the pain of series 5. Just like I did with ignoring 'Teachers' last series which was equally bad without Kurt and Brian! But saying that - my mark of a low 8 would have been a 9 without the horror of woeful S5. But I can't be too harsh with the series on the whole because not liking it for one series would be the same as kicking a naughty, yet funny puppy - i.e. just plain wrong!
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The Dead (2010)
1/10
Glad I didn't waste my money on this!
6 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this movie on sale in a shop, thought it intriguing but didn't buy it because I had other DVD purchases to make that day, but I decided to watch it on a well known film-watching site sometime later. I wish I hadn't bothered. It seems puzzling that quite a lot of people actually LIKE this movie on the message board!

I'm glad raters have so far given this 5.8 though (currently) which is a true reflection of how bad this film really is. I watched this film literally last night with some friends and we all have patience with zombie films, as that's our favourite horror sub-genre. But this was sadly one of the worst zombie movies I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot! Even Zombie Lake was better than this and that's saying something!

The movie started off well and mysteriously, but things went badly after the plane crash. I think it was a major mistake to not give the hero Murphy any fellow survivors to travel with and talk to for a quarter of the film.

And even when he meets the African soldier NEITHER of them asks the obvious question 'WHO ARE YOU?'. So we don't even know their names until 3/4 of the way through. This bothered me as you obviously need to know your travelling partner's name in order to warn them quickly of impending attacks. 'Hey random white guy watch out a zombie's going to attack you' obviously takes too long and won't work! Not only that but the film had a really tedious plot pattern of - drive along, stop for some reason, zombies attack, escape, drive along, stop for some reason, zombies attack, escape, repeat 10 more times - for most of the movie. There was NO tension in any of the attacks as you could see them coming each time.

It's the sort of film you can do something else whilst it's on and just look up occasionally. It severely tests the patience and doesn't entertain AT ALL. Slow zombie movies (SZM - as in the zombies move slowly not the pacing) are so old-school and passé. Don't get me wrong I like classics 'SZM', but 'FZM' (fast zombie movies) are were it's at nowadays I'm afraid. There's no threat, no menace, characters only die through stupidity, tiredness, lack of ammo, being crept up on or overwhelming odds. Fast zombie films like 28 Days Later really up the horror of zombie attacks because you literally have to run for your life. This film you can just dodge them easily with minimal effort. The only 'slow zombie movies' which work are Shaun of the Dead and Zombie Flesh Eaters and the original Night of the Living Dead (of course), and that's only because of the skill of their talented directors in building tension and menace. The Ford Brothers just don't cut it sadly.

In the end I actually felt guilty for urging us all to watch this for the novelty of an African-set Zombie film as it was so long and tedious and none of us deserved to have to go through the boredom of having to watch it. 1h45 felt like 3hrs. Indeed, one of my friends even started wrapping Christmas presents halfway through it was going that badly!

If you're planning on watching this film then don't bother. Watch an entertaining zombie film like Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, (REC), Dead Snow, 28 Weeks Later, Dawn of the Dead (the remake) or Zombie Flesh Eaters. DO NOT WATCH THIS FOR ENTERTAINMENT. You'll be disappointed. When the only positives I could come up with for this film are novelty value (and thus my 1 point score) and realistic CGI blood splatters you know this movie should just return to the grave - and stay there!
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8/10
Actually a very good modern adaptation!
14 November 2012
I entirely disagree with anyone who dislikes this updated version of Dickens classic novel (especially the one negative review so far lodged for this series!)

It was extremely well adapted and re-imagined to instead be about abuse in an old people's home rather than the children's orphanage of the book. That coupled with the inspired pairing of Andrew Simpson (Nickleby) and Linda Bassett (Mrs. Smike) made this a strong and stirring adaptation. In the original book Smike is just a boy, but to give that part to an elderly woman, and such a brilliant and underrated character actress like Bassett, was a genius casting stroke. There was a good rapport between both actors.

I thought as well as the bold plot changes, the rest of the ensemble acting on the whole was uniformly excellent with Adrian Dunbar (the evil Uncle Ralph), Jonathan Harden (the sad-eyed and defeated Mr. Noggs) and the larger than life villain of Mark McDonnell as Mr. Squeers also deserving of mentions.

Anna Wilson-Jones and rising star Hollie Taylor also offered able support in their roles as Miss Knag and Frannie respectively.

The series was also very well directed in the stunning Northern Irish countryside (for the most part) and the script was witty, funny and touching at times too.

This was a superb adaptation of Dickens and the writer Joy Wilkinson should be commended for not just doing another period drama adaptation of Dickens characters in Victorian times, but actually updating the story and putting a modern spin on an old classic. Definitely worth a watch for families across the UK and beyond!
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The Low Down (2000)
1/10
A rubbish disappointment
3 March 2008
This film really is appalling. I was drawn to it because it had the gorgeous Kate Ashfield (Shaun of the Dead) in it but after spending an hour and a half on watching this tedious dross I wish I hadn't bothered.

It meanders along to nowhere in particular and seems to have no discernible point to it or even a narrative. Most of the characters have nothing of interest to say and the camera-work is poor. The worst thing is that several scenes are directionless, some scenes end far to early and often characters don't say more - when they really need to.

I actually felt quite angry after I watched this film because it's annoying low-level indie rubbish like this which actually holds back the British Film Industry from succeeding internationally. Films like this have no discernible audience and so are doomed to fail even before they are made. As long as Britain keeps making rubbish small-scale, low-ambition films like this then we will never move on and have a strong industry which doesn't need American finance to survive all the time.

And just to really annoy me further the talented Kate Ashfield was completely underused and wasted and was just required to play a simpering idiot to the odious character of Aiden Gillen. He's OK in 'The Wire' and 'Game of Thrones' but terrible in this film.

This was a complete waste of time for all concerned and the only bit worth watching was the bizarre sight of comedians Adam & Joe trundling in as if they'd walked into the wrong film! Anyone thinking of watching this film - do yourself a favour and simply don't bother!
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The Near Room (1995)
6/10
A murky 'thriller'
19 July 2006
This Scottish thriller was described as the British 'se7en' but sadly I didn't see much of that American film's style in this rather poor effort.

The plot involves Journalist Dunbar trying to find his adopted daughter before she is killed by a paedophile gang. The locations are suitably seedy and noirish but sadly the film is let down by a rather difficult-to-follow plot and some erratic acting.

In fact the most interesting thing about this film is the casting. The director David Hayman takes a major role as Dunbar's editor at the paper and manages to shout all his lines with suitable malice. Andy Serkis also pops up as a transvestite believe it or not! He seems to be doing his Gollum voice throughout!

The gorgeous Julie Graham is sadly wasted as Dunbar's ex-wife however and barely has much to do apart from take her clothes off in a surprisingly erotic scene.

This film really is a missed opportunity for all involved and far too labyrinthine in plot. The characters are underdeveloped and some of the acting is abysmal. And to be honest - any film that wastes Julie Graham's talent doesn't deserve success!

Avoid this below-average and tedious thriller...
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