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Reviews
Black Summer (2019)
Just Enough From Season 1...but barely
Give Black Summer a chance. It may just become your new guilty pleasure. Make that a very guilty pleasure.
I did not expect to like Black Summer at all. I sat staring aimlessly at my tv for about 10 minutes deciding whether or not to take the chance knowing that there was a 95% chance I would be let down and quit halfway through the first episode. I checked IMDb and saw a surprising amount of very, very positive reviews so I decided to pull the trigger. Not only was I pleasantly surprised, I binged the entire thing over the course of one night/the next afternoon. Black Summer has a lot going for it. It's almost impossible to stop watching...but that's not to say it's without flaws. Despite these flaws...right when you're sitting there shaking your head, chuckling to yourself...just when you think you're out..they pull you back in *insert Michael Corleone impression here*.
Before I get into those flaws I wanna start with what this show got right so as to not dissuade anybody from at least giving it a shot. For one thing, the method of storytelling is a large part of the reason why it's so hard to stop watching. It's similar to the technique Game of Thrones uses (hang on I know that sounds crazy) in that there are several different characters on the same storytelling plane who switch between being on their own and overlapping with other characters. This keeps you involved because you never get bored with one story. It's also more than a show about zombies. The show focuses a lot more on the relationships between strangers, good and bad, that are formed when society crumbles and there's nothing left. These aspects of the story are really what keep you engrossed in the brief 8 episode season despite a few aspects of the show that leave you scratching your head.
Before I get into the flaws I want to reiterate I cannot emphasize enough I definitely recommend at least giving Black Summer a shot.
I've seen a few reviews drawing comparisons to the Walking Dead saying that it's a better version of the amc classic. Let's not get carried away here people. The Walking Dead, when released, was fantastic for about 5-7 seasons and surpasses Black Summer in literally every way. They aren't even in the same league. TWD
fell out of favor with viewers over time, reasonably so..I quit watching along with a lot of people because it got played out, but that can't take away from the level of brilliance that was involved when the show first came out. So if you're expecting another TWD you've gotta check those expectations at the door. The acting isn't as good, the storytelling isn't as thorough, and there's not as much content per season.
Also, this is a direct note to Netflix. If you're reading this.....8 episodes?????? I can get behind 8 episodes if you're feeding me an hour of tv...but multiple episodes fall under the 30 minute mark...the finale is 15 minutes for Christ's sake. There are episodes in this series that are 50 minutes long which focus way to much on things other than zombies. I can appreciate the depiction of the post-apocalyptic society, the fight for survival, and I don't need non stop zombie violence...but if your finale is gonna be 15 minutes it seems odd to spend 15 minutes one episode on zombies, and 50 minutes in another episode focusing on some Lord of the Flies action going on in a school. They've gotta learn to balance the two out in season 2 and ditch this 15-25 minute episode garbage.
Also...last note....WHERE IS THE ZOMBIE VIOLENCE?!?! I wanna see somebody get eaten!!!! Almost all gore/violence happens off screen. Humans are shot in the head with assault rifles and there's no blood. Zombies bite out jugulars and there's about as much blood as a paper cut. I'm not asking for the whole show to be blood and guts, but who watches a zombie show/movie who doesn't wanna see a little bit of stomach-turning gore? I'm literally begging Netflix to show me a little something in season 2 because if I don't see someone get eaten I'm gonna have to quit.
Im giving it 6 out of 10 because regardless of what you think you can't seem to stop watching. The good outweighs the bad (if even by the slimmest of margins) and if Netflix fixes a few things for season 2 this guilty pleasure of mine could turn into something pretty good...
Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)
Maybe the biggest waste of time, money, and talent ever
I can't figure out how to describe how awful this is. As far as attempting to be entertaining I'm not sure anyone has ever failed more miserably. This was singlehandedly the biggest waste of time I've personally invested in watching a movie, and that's saying a lot given some of the movies I've seen. How many more Netflix Original flops can they put out before they stop trying? This was not exciting, it didn't keep you invested, it definitely wasn't scary, and I didn't give a hoot about a single character in the entire movie.
Velvet Buzzsaw attempts to create an in depth portrayal of modern art society where we're introduced to an intertwining web of characters who all share different relationships. Aside from their personal relationships they are tied together via their various business relationships in the art world as well. These relationships become more intertwined upon the discovery of an unknown artists work name Dease. Throughout the film a sinister supernatural attachment to the art begins to dispose of these characters who would seek to exploit this work for their own personal profit. In less words it can be described as the biggest snooze fest in recent history. About 30 minutes of the almost 2 hours of runtime serves any purpose aside from satirical stereotypes regarding people who make up these high end modern art communities. I'm by no mean offended by these stereotypes, rather bored to death by their monumental lack of substance. The death scenes aren't scary, there's no tension throughout the movie at all, and the story arc could be better described as a very, very shallow story plateau. The special effects look cheap, and ingenuine, and this doesn't help add any tension or fear to what's meant to be scary. And do I even need to mention the Goliath sized plot holes that have become a staple of Netflix Originals at this point?
The one thing this movie has is loads of talent, aside from Zawe Ashton who played Josephina. I could walk outside, throw a rock, and it would land next to someone who could do as well, if not better than Zawe. Aside from that, Jake Gyllenhaal, Renee Russo, Toni Collette, and even Natalie Dyer show just how well they can truly act. Even in a movie that fails to be any sort of good their talent manages to shine. It's a shame this talent was wasted on an utterly empty story. People who disagree with me will say I didn't understand, or couldn't appreciate the point the movie sought out to make. I understand this film seeks to illustrate that the reduction of art in this society to nickels and dimes ultimately hurts art as a whole, and in turn the people who committed this crime against Dease's work were hurt back. Frankly, I just don't care. If you want the audience to care about this point the film has to be powerful, gripping, or at the very least exciting. This movie is nothing but boring.
Save yourself two hours and pick something else on your watchlist. Take my word that you truly aren't missing anything with seeing. If you choose to ignore this advice I personally guarantee you'll contemplate turning it off before the 40 minute mark. If I didn't set out to make this review I would've turned it off on about 3 separate occasions.
3/10 stars for some truly brilliant acting talent.
You Were Never Really Here (2017)
Ignore Negative 5 and Under Reviews
I saw mixed reviews for You Were Never Really Here and it made me put off watching this film for 2 years. That was a mistake to say the least. YWNRH is a fantastically shot, gripping stray away from your typical blockbuster crime drama. While this movie isn't perfect, most negative reviews I've seen for this movie are nonsense. This movie is more than worth the hour and a half runtime regardless of whether or not you're typically drawn to the genre. Without spoilers, this review will tell you what you can expect, give you pros and cons, and debunk the faulty overwhelmingly negative reviews some people gave it.
Don't believe the reviews saying there is a "nonexistent, boring plot". The people who think that are the people who need a plot spoon fed to them with in your face exposition and unrealistic, unnecessary character dialogue so they can follow along without having to pay attention. Not only is the plot very clear, it's also very well written. While I'm not sure I would call this movie a thriller, it is a gripping, gritty, crime drama. The plot, despite not being battered into the front of your brain, is straightforward and easy to follow. A man suffering from several traumatic life experiences bides his time finding, and avenging missing girls in an attempt to find peace within himself. Initially, you are left in the dark regarding the main character. His character is developed throughout the story via fragmented displays of flashbacks chopping up his daily life. Through this you simultaneously gather information regarding his daily life, his occupation, his past, and his motives. I believe the way these flashbacks are used are why some people incorrectly believe there is a weak or incomplete plot, but to be frank they couldn't be more wrong.
The use of flashbacks in this movie is not only masterful, but incredibly unique. They are not given to the viewer in their entirety, and they are not meant to give us the entire picture on Joaquin Phoenix's background. They give you enough to understand him, but serve to convey a more important point. The use of these choppy, fragmented flashbacks seen from the main characters perspective convey the hardships of daily life for someone suffering from traumatic experiences. Constantly being reminded of something they'd like to forget, but can't. The seamless and uncontrollable drift from present to the past triggered by random occurrences encountered in day to day life that takes a toll on a person. The director did a phenomenal job conveying this with her technique, while also creating a complete character.
This film is also incredibly well shot. While I'm sure someone could reference several influences this movie draws from I was taken aback at how unique each scene is in how it is shot. This movie strays from the norm and does it extremely well. This individuality not only creates very powerful, gripping, exciting scenes, but makes it easy to focus on less exciting, build up scenes as well. If only based on cinematography I would give this film a 10/10.
While the pros of this movies far outweigh the cons, no movie is perfect. One critique I have is that some of the audio during Joaquin's flashbacks is so quiet I would've completely missed it had I had the subtitles off. Because, as I referenced earlier, the flashbacks are incredibly fragmented each second really counts when establishing the main characters background. Without subtitles, while the quiet, layered audio creates a nice effect to describe the feeling in the main characters head, you lose some relatively important exposition to truly help you understand his past. It's not major and doesn't take away from anything, but it's a critique nonetheless. Same goes for dialogue in a few important character interactions. You really can't fall asleep for a second during this movie if you want to get every detail. I had to rewind another scene that wasn't a flashback just because I missed someone's name. Again, not a deal breaker, doesn't change the plot, but would slightly change your understanding if you missed it.
Overall I give this movie somewhere between a 7/8 out of ten. The only thing holding it back from a 8/9 or a 9/10 was a few minor plot holes at the end. Nothing major, especially when compared to the gargantuan plotholes most Hollywood blockbusters ignore these days, but I'm nitpicky and watch too much CinemaSins on YouTube. Great movie I would highly recommend to anyone.
Bird Box (2018)
Swing and a miss from Netflix
(Softcore spoilers..no major plot points/deaths)
Another Netflix original flop. Aside from a few good series Netflix batting % for original movies is not good enough for the majors..probably not even triple A ball. And it seems to me like they run into the same problem every time. A plot which turns a blind eye to it's Mariana Trench sized plot holes that only looks good in a 15 second Instagram trailer mixed with empty characters who seem to act without any rhyme or reason. They do what they do solely because the plot needs them to. Bird Box is no exception to this.
We'll start with what Bird Box did right because it'll take a lot less time. Despite everything wrong with this movie the one thing it has going for it is that you want to know what ends up happening. Despite all the plot holes, and random character action you truly are interested in seeing how Sandra Bullock ensures her children's safety and escapes these monsters. The problem is, however, despite wanting to see the end you can't help but point out how much this movie has no regard for reason or logic within it's own plot which ultimately ruins the entire movie.
To better explain what I'm trying to say, I'll draw a semi-controversial reference to A Quiet Place. I'm well aware that bird box is based on a book that came out before A Quiet Place so, please.....save it. In A Quiet Place (Which I personally liked) there were parts of the plot you could nitpick and say "I don't get why he would do this" or "why wouldn't they do this?" Or even "how come the monsters do this but not this?". For me I personally felt like a lot of these things (admittedly not all) boiled down to nitpicking. You could apply the why didn't x do y argument to almost any movie so I personally felt some people were hard on A Quiet Place. The difference here is that in Bird Box picking apart the plot can't be simplified as nitpicking, it can be justified as reasonable claims or questions the movie either has no regard for or doesn't care to explain.
For example, they decide to paint the car windows black so they can drive out for supplies using gps. A creative idea on the surface, but even the most casual movie goer is going to point out the roads were riddled with abandoned and exploded cars when they went into hiding. There's a zero percent chance you could make it down the road, let alone out of your driveway, without hitting a post apocalyptic road block of debris.
Another example is the blindfolded river rafting scene which is 50% of the reason why people watch the movie to begin with. This might be the biggest example of clickbait I've seen in movie history. I've been whitewater rafting on the lowest tier of rapids there are. 13 out of the 15 people in the group flipped (more than once) and nobody was blindfolded. You cannot convince me they're making it down that river. Somebody is going to have to take the blindfold off ultimately getting everyone killed.
Finally, the movie gives no explanation as to why some people can look at these creatures and not kill themselves. Some people get to roam freely in a state of madness, while others are compelled to immediately kill themselves.
This combined with a cast of characters who are not fleshed out and act without reason or motivation other than "the script told me to" ruins any chance of this movie being considered anything other than clickbait by Netflix.
A Swiss cheese plot, and a cast of wasted talent ruin another Netflix original. Even though you won't listen to me because this movie is going viral..save 2 hours of your time, watch something else. And when you ignore this and watch it anyway and get let down just remember I told you so.
4/10 stars and I'm being generous.
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Book a room at a different hotel
Bad Times at the El Royale is like a hit in baseball that makes the whole stadium stand up and cheer, but then about halfway through you realize the left fielder is gonna catch it at the warning track. For the first 1/3 or first 1/2 of this movie I was convinced I was about to see the best movie I'd seen in theaters for awhile. The second half of the movie took that hope and promise and dismantled it into a heap of practically unwatchable wreckage.
This movie ripped off just about every Tarantino movie I've seen off the top of my head. There were elements of Kill Bill story telling, and plot development mixed with basically the same setting as Hateful Eight combined with out of order storytelling from Pulp Fiction and a Reservoir Dogs-esque Mexican stand-off ending. Despite being almost impossible to ignore none of these blatant rip offs negatively impacted the movie for me. The only one that did was how it was a great movie for the first half, and then became horrendous in the second half like From Dusk Till Dawn.
Initially you're presented with a diverse group of relatively dynamic characters whose motivations and connections to each other remain mostly a mystery early on. This combined with a mysterious, and increasingly creepy setting create a very engaging, suspenseful atmosphere. From there the director promptly ruins everything he has going for him one foul move at a time until the audience is either walking out of the theater, snoring, jeeringly laughing out loud at how bad the movie is, or checking mlb playoff scores on their phones (all things I personally experienced in theaters).
First of all, Don Draper....I mean Jon Hamm.....easily has the most enticing storyline out of all the guests. He also does the most to advance what you assume is going to be the central plot line of the movie. However, instead of using this to keep a good thing going, they have him killed off by Dakota Johnson (who looked really hot in her hippy pants). My problem isn't necessarily that he died, even though I would've liked to see more of Don Draper....I mean John Hamm....my problem is how he does, and after he dies they completely drop anything regarding him or his storyline from the movie. First of all, an experienced undercover law enforcement agent is definitely going to secure who he believes to be a violent kidnapper before moving on and freeing a hostage. Instead he ignores her completely, doesn't check for any weapons, and dies. At least give me something more believable. After all, it's what Tarantino would've done. There's no more light shed on the people he was investigating at all, and all in all nothing really comes out of weird porn hotel operation they have going on at the El Royale. The only influence it has on the rest of the movie is vague references to a tape we don't get to see that has JFK committing some heinous sex act on camera. They don't even end up telling us what happens with the tape or who uses it for what it just disappears at the end.
Second of all, for a movie that's 2 and 1/2 hours long we did not need 20 minutes of it to be Darlene, aka a blatant Diana Ross reference that gets shoved down your throat a million times like you aren't smart enough to catch it on your own, singing. Her practicing singing in her room...fine. Hemsworth making her sing at the roulette table....fine, but even then can we shorten it up a little bit?
There wasn't too much wrong with Jeff Bridges character other than A.) for a guy with severe Alzheimer's he sure is able to recollect a lot of stuff after being drilled in the head with a glass liquor bottle B.) it seems like he can remember everything except his name C.) I understand him trying to team up with Darlene and explaining himself, but I didn't like how emotional he would get..it just seemed off to me.
Dakota Johnson (man she looked good in those pants) and her sister are another example of this movie taking a good thing and ruining it. The vagueness surrounding her and why she's kidnapped her sister work well when combined with Draper's..........Hamm's.....investigation. Even after Hamm is dead you're still left wondering who her sister called, why they're running away, and why she had to subdue her sister. Despite all this promise they completely and utterly lost me when Hemsworth aka the handsome Marylin Manson strolled into town.
By the time Hemsworth shows up, they've already killed off the best storyline, Darlene has sung for a total of about 4 hours, all mystery surrounding Jeff Bridges is gone, and I'm already sick of Dakota Johnson's seemingly feral sister. The absolute last thing the movie needed was to introduce another character, plus backstory, plus have him slow the movie down to a crawl. On top of that, we definitely didn't need the hotel employee to have a flashback giving us even more backstory on him so he could "save the day" I was perfectly content with heroin addict hotel employee who uses drugs to cope with his traumatizing job. Now he's a Vietnam vet too?! Not to mention I don't believe for a second his ptsd from the war would stop him from at the very least saving the priest he feels such a strong connection to.
After the story was dismantled and I lost interest in all of the characters I was relieved when the final credits rolled. Save your money, don't even bother watching on Netflix, just wait to see Once Upon A Time in Hollywood if you want to see a real Tarantino movie set in the 60's.
4/10