Reviews

Whilst not perfect (and what is) this is a great special, smacking hard of the glory days of Nu Who, with sparkling dialogue, well rounded characters and familiar but still imaginative action, chock full of beautifully realised practical effects, aided by some very impressive CGI visuals.

There is also a gorgeous new Tardis, both inside and out, a new sonic screwdriver with fresh abilities, a change in costume, and a coffee maker, although that last one might have been a bad idea.

It felt like a solid return to form and I'm sure any Doctor Who fan immediately felt at home.

My only criticism is there were a few lines that felt like they were addressing a small faction of Who haters rather than all the watching Whovians, which was a tad odd, but hopefully RTD knows what he's doing.

Overall, pretty darned fantastic, a warm welcome back and allons-y!

Meep meep!

What a wonderful mess of derivation.

If you like so bad it's good sci-fi then look no further, this has everything. Quasi futuristic 70's fashion, clunky over-acting robots, wobbly space ships, cardboard sets, talking computers that run on reel to reel tapes, bland corridors to run down from multiple camera angles and disco synthesiser tunes so loud that they drown out the dialogue.

The story is paper thin, multiple times some poorly constructed plot point or threat gets hand waved away for the sakes of moving things along, there are long scenes of effects beyond reason or explanation, and apparently hairspray is everywhere in this universe.

Still, if this had come on TV when I was a child, I would have loved it.

Marvellously terrible.

It's very watchable, I thought everyone on screen did a great job, save for the mother being a tad overly theatric at times but one can barely criticise.

However, there are strangely focussed upon set-ups that go no where, a murder plot which may or may not be deserved, various suggestions of twists that don't pay off, and there may or may not have been a death that perhaps someone faked or maybe it failed or it was a cruel joke or they're all in the matrix or... oh no I've gone cross eyed.

Throw in some LSD effects, bonkers editing and long scenes where no one speaks or does anything we need to see, and a cult movie is born.

Enjoy.

Don't believe all the naysayers and give it a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised. I was, but then, I have a sense of humour and enjoy spectacular sci-fi action that doesn't take itself too seriously, which apparently most people don't, now.

Oh it says I have to write more to be allowed to post this, erm, once upon a time in a galaxy far far away there lived a giant frozen yeti monster in a Kahoolawe with a big red ball who ate a Polaroid photo of a Chinese baby that had laser eyes that would happily destroy all of humanity for a balloon, but everybody lived happily ever after because the internet loves cats, the end. Is that enough? This thing could really use a character counter...

My word, Dennis Hopper and Charles Dance really will just take any job with a pay check won't they?

On the plus side the movie is very bright and colourful, lots of sci-fi action, has some quite sexy people and lots of great models, robots and surprisingly decent effects at times, and on the negative, well, pretty much everything else.

Good with beer and mates with a sense of humour, try to ignore the strings.

> Reality is cursed, but I will guide you and be your eyes and ears.

> I will describe your location, then give you your choices.

> You are in a room, you are looking at a IMDb review of a strange movie. It's about playing an old game. A text based adventure game.

> The game has started. Now you must make a choice to continue:

> Y/ Watch the strange movie. OR: N/ Run.

> Choose Or Die:

>

It's not the silly slapstick parody the title & plot summation may suggest, there are certainly some good belly laughs, but it gradually becomes more of a romantic feel good comedy.

There's a lot of clever plotting and funny scenes, some a tad cringy but purposely so, for those who may need fair warning there's a fair bit of male nudity and obviously some gay situations, but it's all played for laughs.

It's no La Cage Aux Folles, but I definitely enjoyed it a heck of a lot more than I expected to.

On a final note, I know enough French to know the English subtitles are pretty toned down from what is actually said, which is a shame, but you won't need to speak any to get the full effect, you'll get the idea.

Worth a look!

Part Aliens part Doctor Who part Resident Evil, this is a curious mix of many homages and a good few cliches, but it's all done well and there's some interesting new ideas in there too.

Not all of it entirely gels, the science quickly wanders into fantasy and some of the in-universe logic doesn't quite hold together, but it all looks great, all the effects and sets are solid, it has a lovely creepy atmosphere and the story holds plenty of intrigue & mystery, even poignancy.

I doubt it's going to be a classic, but it is certainly worthy of a watch for any sci-fi fan and I'd happily catch a series two.

This movie is one of the most confusing things I've ever seen. Is it a bawdy comedy, a serious drama, a spoof horror, it can't decide. David Niven can't seem to pin down if he's playing a part that's more James Bond or Blofeld and to say the story arc of his character hasn't aged well is an understatement.

Theres a few good moments and certainly plenty of titillating visuals, but mostly it's just puzzling what the heck they were going for.

I guess it's one good point is it's certainly unique.

The script makes no sense, the direction is just strange, the editing very poor, there's some terrible acting and poor miming, yet it's oddly watchable.

Highlights: spot the band members who have never played an instrument before, the moment a tap dancer keeps being shown off-screen in sound only, a lady pretending to take phone calls who says all her lines but leaves no spaces to hear the other half of the conversation she's supposedly reacting to, and strange moments of selective deafness by some of the cast as others share lines right in front of them that they apparently can't hear.

There's some great music, and that's about it's only real saving grace.

This story feels as if somebody made a Doctor Who story out of lots of cool moments from other Doctor Who stories, put together in no particular order.

There's a lot of very familiar feeling sets, very nice effects, really nice make up and costumes, it all looks great and it feels very Doctor Who, in fact a bunch of actors do nothing but walk around admiring it all for a whole episode.

Then at the climax with a whole planet in turmoil, all the main characters and a plus one decide not to save their civilisation after all, so after a bit of jolly banter about gardening, they hop back in the Tardis and head back to Blighty.

Very odd indeed. But it looks fantastic.

This story has a particular soft spot for me as it was my most memorable early introduction to Doctor who, I was still in single figures regarding my age, but after this one I was hooked for life.

Watching as an adult, of course it has the usual issues with the BBC effects, but remembering that this was 5 years before Star Wars and done on a shoestring budget, it all holds up remarkably well.

Monsters lurking around dark corners, our heroes in plenty of peril, good and evil, lots of literally explosive action and stunts, with many well rounded characters, all filmed with some rather dynamic direction that produces quite a few iconic shots, and add to all of that, some of the most unique use of analogue synthesiser sounds you're likely to come across on any soundtrack.

We also find ourselves travelling over and under the sea in just about every form of water vehicle known to man at the time.

It still makes quite an impression, even today!

It hasn't got anything to do with the original story, but I was quite enjoying season one, it had some interesting and original ideas and visuals, and pretty decent actors.

BUT.

As it went on I got more and more frustrated about two things:

1. They know how to survive by episode 3 or 4 of the first season, they just don't. Instead, they continue to let the enemy just walk right in as if they had no idea anything bad was going on, often through unlocked doors, because they're all too distracted by more important matters, like unrequited love, family secrets, petty arguments, sex, and...

2. What is it with firing 20 rounds at an enemy that is RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON YOU WANT TO SAVE? It makes absolutely no sense!

Finally, after so much build up and hoping for it all to come together, the ending of season one answers absolutely nothing, it only adds more questions to a 'plot' already straining under them.

So, I was hoping the first episode of season two would explain things, but no, they're taking that totally dumb twist ending, and doubling down on it? Even though it makes zero sense? Even within your own narrative and set-up, it absolutely objectively is just absolute nonsense, but you're sticking by it?

I will watch the next one and if i don't see an alien, I am done.

An Asylum film.

In this particular travesty to film making the big bad guy is called Zealous who looks like a biker dressed for The Matrix Con, and appears to have been tricked into looking down some of those eye-blackening joke binoculars.

Most of the ladies look like they didn't bother changing from the nightclub, and most of the guys look like they ran through a Halloween store and Army Surplus with 30 seconds to grab whatever they could, except one guy who is wearing half a Transformers suit he bought on Wish.

Another guy's costume is a big plastic chain wrapped around his naked chest in an X shape, with black jeans and a BFG, and at one point he has a fight in a desert that's so awkward you can see them both looking for each other to hit their mark before they do their next move.

There's a lot of sets made from ill-fitting plywood flats with gaps between them and stuff like cutlery drying trays and bottle crates glued on backwards with their bottoms sprayed grey, somebody bought an industrial quantity of fluorescent tubes, but this is the first time I've ever seen a cheap sci-fi interior set where the budget couldn't stretch to some flashing fairy lights pretending to be a computer panel.

There are no windows inside the spaceship interiors and at no point do we ever get to see what everybody is staring at behind the camera as they pilot them, only disconnected cuts to CGI exteriors, but they do have some lovely bucket seats.

The dialogue, oh god oh god the dialogue, the only slight interest is listening for rip-off lines like 'where is the location of the hidden (rebel) base' and 'watch your backs here they come' which might make for a drinking game, I guess.

So bad it's bad, I was hoping it would at least be funny but even a devout teetotaller would need a drink.

On the plus side... nope, I've got nothing.

Having heard terrible things for so many years, I actually thought this was pretty good.

It started a little slow, and the dubbing took some getting used to, particularly as the Ewok's mouths bear no relation to their speech.

There's really nothing original in the main story, a ragtag band of brave hearts go on a quest together to free a Princess trapped in an ogres cave, except the Princess are parents and the braves are Ewoks, but it's all done very well, filmed beautifully and there's never a dull moment.

For fans of practical effects, once the band gets questing, there is one in almost every scene, tons of interesting matte paintings, puppets, stop motion, animation, superimposition, playing with film speed and scale, there's lots to enjoy.

I was entertained, and that's all one could ask of any movie, really.

This is a very self aware black comedy zombie movie that fans of the genre should like as it has the good old fashioned slow and squishy zombies, not the fast ones, as it itself discusses at one point.

Very funny, very gory, very sweary, lots of cute kids, some nice rounded characters, and you get to hear Olaf (Josh Gad) say the C word!

Definitely worth a look.

This was the American dubbed version entitled The Giants Of Thesally.

This movie whisks you away to a magical land of far far away, where men were real men on boats, women were slightly thinner men on boats, and real women stay at home to deliver plot dumps whilst staring wistfully off into the middle distance.

Badly made, appallingly edited, poorly dubbed, with effects that only 1940s BBC sci-fi would admire, yet bizarrely, very nicely scored.

Brought to you in No Continuity-O-Vision!

Goes well with a few beers and laughs.

Anything with Peter Cushing in it you know will be at least watchable, and this is no exception.

It reminds me mostly of an early Jon Pertwee episode of classic Doctor Who with about their level of monsters and all the usual cliches, brought up to a decent level of B-Movie sci-fi by all the cast taking it very seriously.

There are really no surprises or stand out scenes but it's an entertaining romp done as well as the budget allows with plenty to enjoy.

Truly, an extraordinary series. Extraordinary direction, extraordinary cinematography, extraordinary lighting, settings and sets, with extraordinary actors in impeccable fashions complimented by some very well chosen music, but most of all, what an extraordinarily engaging script.

A ray of hope in dark times for some sparkling story telling.

How extraordinary.

This wasn't intended to be the end, but a fitting end it is. This final story retains the atmosphere and intelligence of the best of the series, with a decent pacing, a compelling narrative, and the cliffhanger is unintentionally a pretty good, if rather sad, way to end things.

With twists a plenty this is certainly one of, if not the, best of the lot.

I was drawn to this as I recognised Tim Russ from Star Trek: Voyager (1995) as is at least one of the special effects guys, and a lot of folks doing reviews don't seem to get what this is so I thought I'd chip in.

This is a failed pilot for a sort of live action cartoon in the manner of something like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (1993) but I'd guess aimed slightly older. It's full of simple character archetypes and comic book style ideas and action pieces, the villain is even voiced by voice actor Frank Welker using his "Dr. Claw" voice from Inspector Gadget (1983) so it's obviously not aiming to impress any high brow critics, and even though it does make a few jokes clearly aimed at watching Mums and Dads, it's obviously meant for a much younger audience.

It has a lot going for it, decent model work, props, make-up and animatronics, a lot of the creatures look pretty cool, but it's let down a lot by the rather shonky video effects, but I guess they were impressive enough back then.

It's a shame it wasn't picked up as a series, as with a bit more money thrown at the effects and a few script and character tweaks it could have been a fun sci-fi for the younger generation of the time. As it stands, it's just about watchable and I'm pretty sure younger kids would enjoy it.

It isn't going much away to say the basic premise of this movie is cheesy old creature features coming to life, however the movie gets a bit confused about this as all the verbal description and shots of said movies are clearly of 1950s B&W teenage monster flicks, but all the events that actually occur heavily reference 70/80s sci-fi monster movies.

So it's a little confused, but it's tons of fun, has decent enough effects, and the lynch pin of the whole thing is the crazy old man nobody believes but who really sells the part.

Definitely worth a watch.

I want to start by saying I love this movie, it is one of my favourites of all time, however, I also want to say that it has some issues.

No matter what format I've watched this on, during the most darkly lit scenes it has really unforgivably bad posterisation, and I really feel it needs a digital remaster. It also takes a lot from the movie Poltergeist (1982), in its characters, plot and basic premise, so if you're familiar with that it will feel rather derivative.

However, it adds many completely unique ideas of its own, eschews flashy special effects and cheap jump scares for some simple yet highly effective theatrical methods that are unnerving because they are so right yet so wrong, and takes us on a haunting journey through some truly creepy scenes with solid direction that never gets clumsy or obvious.

It also has really great skin tingling sound that at times flickers around your ears in the most disturbing fashion, and when sudden loud noises happen they are never unqualified by what is going on onscreen.

So please look past the at times distracting digital errors that pop up in some scenes and enjoy an otherwise great scary movie.

Kate is an older hot headed uncompromising cafe owner who dislikes change, doesn't really understand the modern world and doesn't really want to, and Koji is a dignified African gentleman who is seeking asylum, and also a Doctor. At first they don't get along but as he is desperate for food, drink and a warm place to be, and Kate needs to attract customers, they reluctantly find compromises, and character driven amusement ensues.

There are many other background characters, most follow fairly simple archetypes making it easy to get into, and it's definitely aimed at an older audience as it's basically old fashioned 70s style humour, just set in the modern world.

Oh and the lefty papers hate it with a passion as much as they hate Mrs Brown's Boys and for all the same reasons, so if you like that, check it out.

Impressive in scope, though it looks suspiciously like a lot of stock footage and some clips from at least one other movie are used, none the less we get a cast of thousands, lots of excitable African wildlife, a volcano, and of course, giant atomic bugs from outer space, rather effectively realised by stop motion for the most part.

Asides from some slow periods in the middle it runs along at a rollicking good pace with decent production values for the time, but it is very much of its time, especially the colonial values, so don't watch if you're easily triggered by seeing the past.

Regardless of it's other shortcomings of being made in black & white, mono and 1957, it's decent entertainment, and although I found the ending rather sudden and a little disappointing (the monsters basically die thanks to editing), I was indeed entertained.

One for a rainy Sunday perhaps.