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The Machine (2023)
Waste of time
This movie was just a complete waste of time. It is supposed to be funny, but it just never is, as mentioned below it's stupid mostly rather than funny. The whole premise is absurd but just in an absurd, and not a funny way. The way it shows life in eastern Europe is also Borat-like, but lacks the witt of Sacha Baron Cohen and it brings stereotypes that just seem kind of offensive. It's just childish. And it stretches waaaay too long at two hours.
Some of the supporting cast was actually good like the female actor heroine, so at least it has that going on, but everything else was just really bad.
The Expanse: Babylon's Ashes (2022)
10 out of 10, but could have been an 11
What an epic show coming to an end, I enjoyed every bit of it but I really wish it didn't have to end so abruptly. It feels that the writers needed quite a bit more time to properly finish the storylines, not to mention the Laconia story left entirely open.
Still, what an incredible journey it has been, the Expanse! Thrilling, exciting, I just wish it lasted a bit more, I wish there was this dialog between Avisarala and Inaros, I wish the story had more time to develop until we got this grand finale. Still, love love love every bit of it.
Ted Lasso (2020)
Mediocre
Strange that this is getting such raving reviews. It's just very mediocre, the story, everything, there is really no depth to it, nor is it particularly funny. It's a weird middle ground. You won't miss too much if you don't see it.
The Expanse: Redoubt (2021)
Brilliant
This show only gets better with every series and this latest episode shows the incredible talent of script writers and actors.
While some critique this episode for being slow-paced and mostly about dialogue, this is exactly what makes it great. We peek deeper in the consequences of Marco's actions and see Philip's character forming. This is so much better than other sci-fi series precisely because it explores the very essence of human conflict and is not black and white, and trigger-happy like most Hollywood productions these days.
This show deserves more seasons and it proves it with every single episode, there is no boring moment. Love every bit of it!
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
What a complete waste of time
This is everything wrong with modern film-making. The whole thing lacks any logical sense, it drags on for way too long, the games are moronic and unimaginative, the characters are shallow, there is not even an attempt at creating some nuance and emotion, I would have more compassion watching chicken die than this absolutely ridiculous man-slaughter. The main character is this completely unremarkable John battered by life that only occasionally yells angrily at the world. All of it is just one huge waste. If you get a thrill of seeing people dye on screen for no reason, all decorated in ridiculous settings and surrounded with PlayStation-like mask people, go for it though. It's literally that, nothing more.
The Expanse: Gaugamela (2020)
Are there limits to perfection?
The Expanse is so far ahead of other shows that it's not even funny. The Mandalorian and Star Trek Discovery are just painful to watch, but this ladies and gents, is how you tell a story. I was just praying for this episode to last a bit longer and enjoyed every minute of it. The writing is phenomenal, so many different stories finally intertwined and coming together in this episode, fantastic acting, the decision to split the Rocinante crew gives each character much needed depth and the Amos storyline is SOOO exciting, but also Mars and everything, really everything. BRAVO to everyone involved in making this a reality, can't wait to see the next episode!!!
The Expanse (2015)
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Oh MY GOSH! The Expanse throws you right into it from the very first episode of the first season. A complex world of intraplanetary politics, a mysterious alien invasion, questions about our values as society and all of that infused with intrigue intertwined developing stories, all of that keeping you watching. This is hands down the best sci-fi TV series out there by a long shot.
Unfortunately, by the end of the third season, the story starts to deplete itself and run a bit out of gas. Curious to see where it will go in the fourth season!
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Brilliant! Can't stop watching
Am I watching the same series as everyone else? Because the emotional over-reaction doesn't seem to be in the series, but in the comments. This definitely does not deserve a 1 out of 10, even if some of the commenters do point out some "woke" annoyances that I agree with. For the most part, this is a brilliant show. The dialogs, the acting are top notch, I love Michael Burnham's acting, and the way each series develops the characters and the story is just addictive. The effects, the visuals, I am hooked! This is the best TV series I have watched in a long while!
Gisaengchung (2019)
Extremely overrated
You have seen the ludicrous reviews claiming that this is the best film of the year and that it will be remembered for years. It won't. It's a nonsensical movie about a bunch of weirdos. It's well shot, but if you expect a movie to give you some positive feelings, some lesson, or an inspiration, well prepare to leave the movie theater empty-handed.
Bubblegum (2017)
Funny, romantic, philosophical, surprisingly great!
What an incredible chemistry we see on screen here and a beautiful story that comes to life! This film is equal parts funny, romantic and philosophical.
It all starts with the camera introducing viewers to the two main characters in their 30s, Kalin, a cynical marketing creative director, and Bilyana, an emigrant, who's come home for her sister's wedding and is engaged herself, yet terrified of the thought of a routine with a men she's not sure she loves.
A rather comical chance encounter between the two introduces us to a story of two kids who were once in love, but now strangers. The story gradually melts the ice as Kalin relives old memories and asks Bilyana to join in a trip down memory lane. It all comes alive as the screenplay reveals detail after detail of their childhood adventures and mischief, explaining that special "bubblegum" bond between the pair.
As the two strangers slowly realize this unlived love, they face decisions and have to rethink the future and decide whether they should go with a feeling or let reality pull them back to their everyday routine in different countries.
Only at the end of this film, when the credits roll, you realize there was no music in this film, no special effects, and you've watched captivating dialog and brilliant acting the whole time. Truly, a surprisingly great film.
The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)
A visually masterful non-sense
I feel sorry for the operators and all the other technicians that were recruited to produce this visually excellent picture about nothing. The script is so empty and devoid of any sense whatsoever that it made me question the emptiness I constantly feel inside my own life, and convince me that my life is actually full of wonder and magic compared to the dullness of this film's script. Wes Anderson must have indeed been on drugs. This movie is pure trash.
Liberal Arts (2012)
Awful. An agonizing watch
I don't know what weed are people who wrote positive reviews for this piece of s h i t on, but it must be really good.
Deceived by a trailer that creates the illusion of a decent rom-com on the glorious topic of relationships between a 22-year-old college sophomore and a 35-year-old liberal arts junkie, I was not hoping for much. In fact, I would have been happy with the very minimum: a few good self-indulgent jokes about 30something men and age difference in relationships, a flirtatious and entertaining college student that would light a sparkle in that man's existence, a few outworldly romantic scenes and a few inspiring shots of beautiful places. That's it! Honestly, I did not even dare expect some depth of conversation or character. But this film proved unable to deliver even the bare minimum and the agony of the screen-writer had me and my girlfriend shaking our head in disbelief at how bad a film can be.
Okay, on to the gist. The film tells the story of the completely unremarkable 35-year- old Jesse who is bored the heck out of his life, obviously does not have a job, dreams or any purpose in life whatsoever. This vegitative inhabitant of New York City also feels an inexplicable nostalgia about his university years. Want to know why? Don't expect a logical explanation from this former 'excellent' liberal art student beside clichés so painful to listen to that it is almost funny.
Lo and behold, the aforementioned cipher who is also a complete failure in life meets sophomore Zibby (short for Elisabeth). Did I say meet? Let me preface this correctly by saying that our imbecile of a hero is also an impotent man. When he sees the cute at rare times, but mostly average-looking Zibby, he does not dare talk to her and their meeting is aranged by an entertaining nature hipster of a dude that is the only bright spot in the film.
What follows then is such a complete and massive pile of dog sh-it beta-male behavior and pseudo-romantic non-sense that is equal parts painful and depressing.
If you want to see one of the worst rom-coms, this is an educative watch, but for all else, stay away. Stay away.
Nuestros amantes (2016)
No fun watching this Spanish trainwreck of a rom-com
What a pleasure to review this trainwreck of a movie.
This film has a serious problem with self-identification. You would think that this is a movie about an innocent flirt and romance about two not-so-young-anymore protagonists that are both well-likable. He, a slightly dorky writer with a charm most girls will like, and she, a cute bookworm of a girl with no steady job or income, an asshole boyfriend and a dreamy outlook on life.
But wait until 20 minutes in the film, when the screenplay suddenly reveals that he is also a family-man with a kid and a lustful wife. Guess how many times is the kid shown in the movie? Yep, zero! The most irresponsible father in the history of the world, he plays hide and seek with his newly-found infatuation, while revealing a host of mental problems including weird (not in a good way) sexual deviations and a deeply rooted beta male character.
All of this is accompanied by some terrible scripting and forced acting. The comatose screenplay stretches this agony to an hour and a half, and I feely lucky it was not more than that.
Passengers (2016)
Two hours of nothing happening
Passengers is yet another production that you will forget the moment you leave the theater.
While the subject of the movie is the malfunctioning of a spaceship and the tragic faith of some of its passengers, it never really becomes a drama or a tragedy. No emotion for you, average 15-20 year old target viewer. Instead, you get explosions and some robots for an hour, as well as a hulk (something for you ladies) who wanders around in a tank top bashing against the unbreakable walls and mirrors of the ship. Then, you have a completely predictable love story, a character that is awoken only to die a few minutes later to help move through the mindless script.
It's not all bad. There are a few bright spots in this film: a/ gorgeous, sexy, blooming Jennifer Lawrence b/ witty robot-bartender that is the only funny thing in the film and expresses more emotion than the protagonists c/ space always looks captivating d/ Jennifer Lawrence, come on, I am serious! Jennifer, I know you are reading this, I would have awoken you as well!
But two hours of all this? *Yawn*
Nocturnal Animals (2016)
20 minutes of suspense in the beginning, then it all goes down the drain
Nocturnal Animals is a movie with poor script, poor acting and an ending pulled out of someone's smart ass.
The first 20 or so minutes are the most suspense-filled and interesting part of the movie, it goes completely down the drain after that. An emotion-less and completely inexplicable love story drives the narrative, while emotionally devoid characters play the roles. There is death that's supposed to be tragic, but not at a single place in the movie one can relate to the supposed emotional experience surrounding tragic events.
The bad guy does play his role rather good and along with the sheriff is the only good thing in this movie. But that does not save the whole film being a waste of time.