Sunday afternoon what to do, I know we will go and see the knew much raved about Contagion, if there were only some way of getting back the wasted £15, 40 mile round trip and three wasted hours. The fact of the matter is I have not seen such a waste of a talented cast in many a year. Charecterisation was at best poorly developed at worst sloppy at best, Matt Damon was probably the most developed of these and I really didn't even care about him. This film suffered from the fact that it was a 12A classification and therefore did not have the elbow room to develop more adult themes and scenarios from the collapse of public order in a 'developed' society, I don't know whether this was a deliberate marketing ploy cashing in on half term break but it really limited the breadth of the film and its potential. I think for me the fact of the matter is that it is a non event of a film nobody you actually care about dies, in fact Gwyneth Paltrow receives divine judgement for her infidelity, a couple of sketchily characters pop their clogs, I include in this the lovely Kate Winslet, but hey! don't don't worry just under 10% of the worlds population dies but the American way of life is not affected one jot the nurses may have stopped working but the power stations are still running, which I find stretches credulity to breaking point, there is a light reference to a run on the banks, a run on gunshops being the more likely scenario, however the effects would be considerably worse with one tenth of the population missing and the rest in mourning. Mobile phones keep working the police are still able to rustle up squad cars and no mention that a state of emergency has been declared in several metropolitan areas and the impact of American armed forces having to shoot looters and yes the desperate. This film is Dystopia Lite for the hard of thinking. If you have half a brain avoid this piece of rubbish save your money for beer.
Reviews
9 Reviews
School for Scoundrels
(2006)
Put upon loser takes a course to improve life chances and win lady of his dreams
3 April 2007
Take a much superior English film from the 1950's Bo****** it up repackage it for the gullible American market, add bum and poo jokes with sub Benny Hill testicle crushing and there you have it you don't have to pay script writers just import the usual faces (or should that be Faeces) and hey whaddya know a film for the undemanding. There is no gentle demanding humour here no stars of the calibre of Simms or Terry Thomas. Please seek out the original do not pay to see this it only encourages them. At the end of the film it was like someone had crapped on the grave of an elderly beloved relative and walked away giggling. Please stop destroying our heritage find some of your own films to mess up. How about Gone With the Wind with Ben Stiller, Whoopie Goldberg and Angelina Jolie? You could replace the burning of Atlanta with a lot of bum jokes, hell, I'm patenting this idea. Anybody fancy giving me some financial backing?
1984
(1984)
Minor civil service man in oppressive surveillance ridden party state encounters nemesis in the shape of a young female party member.
31 March 2006
Regardless of what the vast majority of people believe 1984 was written not as a warning against communism but as a warning against capitalist society. Society is controlled by a single party and the world is in a constant state of staged war between three super powers. Video surveillance is constant through Vid screens in virtually every room, and constant risk of being denounced as a thought criminal. Against this background our hero is a minor functionary amending past historical events so as to fit in with current party propaganda making war heroes un people. Anyone who asks what happened to the £60 Billion stolen by Thatcher from pension companies and the £60 Billion short fall in pension provision might already understand the basic mechanics of how this happens. Wilson meets a young anti sex league worker and they begin a torrid affair. This is a must see for anyone who likes to think for themselves and is genuinely concerned for the future a truly accurate adaptation of the Orwell novel. Richard Burton's last performance is stunning as is John Hurts this is a truly scary film. If you want to imagine the future of humanity imagine a jack boot stamping on a human face for ever.
The Ladykillers
(2004)
Another pointless, unimaginative Hollywood remake
31 March 2006
I think I could solve the worlds energy problems in one go, attach dynamos to any deceased person who loved the original the revolutions would light the US for 100 years. How dare they! do they think we are idiots? in any civilised country anyone who had anything to do with this abomination would be hunted down and executed with their entire families close personal friends and pets! I thankfully watched this by myself otherwise my wife would have had me put away! I spent half the film screaming obscenities at the screen, and the rest wiping the spittle from the screen. Where was the magnificent underplayed performance of Alec Guiness? Why were the support cast not up to the standard of Herbert Lom or Peter Sellers? Please any fans of this film repent, watch the original, it is not a reinterpretation of a classic it is piracy pure and simple, blatant profiteering from a much better film. Tom Hanks you can't have needed the money that badly?
Titanic
(1997)
Romantic vehicle involving Kate Winslet and Leonardo Di Caprio plus some simplistic message about oppression of the poor .
29 March 2006
I had the misfortune to be taken to see this film and spent an agonising three hours with the will to live seeping away from me all the time, so what's wrong with it? DeCaprio, from a purely unbiased mans view I can see the appeal to the more uncritical female section of the audience, however he was totally acted off the screen by the glorious Kate Winslet. This is not the first time consistently he is given parts that most actors would kill for only to find himself completely upstaged by much better actors, remember Mercutio in Romeo and Juliet, Daniel Day Lewis in that abomination Gangs of New York. I rest my case. The soundtrack by Celine Dion left me with the urge to scream with tedium, good voice shame about the material! The film is over long and I can not see the necessity for the length the plot certainly didn't present any challenges or surprises. The Titanic disaster in reality was about people and peoples responses differed to the in relation to it, it was not only the rich who were cowardly and oppressive in reality there was a lot of bravery shown as well, in other words HUMANITY at its best and worst. I found the Hollywood gross oversimplification at best insulting at worst the stereotype portrayed about the Irish deeply insulting and approaching racist. In summation I would say that the experience was something similar to visiting a slightly dementing older relative and being left alone in their company for a day. The relationship between DiCaprio and The glorious Winslet (OK I'm Biased) could not carry the entire film especially given its length. I ended up praying for the iceberg and virtually cheering when DiCaprio sank without a trace. Somewhere there is a more over rated film but for the moment it escapes me.
TV Offal
(1997–1998)
If you are easily offended this is not for you
21 March 2006
A truly splendid collection of all that is splendid in VLS's humour. Comic and real TV clips from around the world, the gay Daleks are wonderful although the constant references to a well known heterosexual UK politician bemused me somewhat. VSL does not so much cross the line of decency but sets up camp on the other side, the result is gut achingly hilarious. Often the language used does stray into the embarrassingly childish but on the whole wonderful stuff like this does not come along that often. Just leave preconceptions to one side and enjoy it. An ex girlfriend used my best single malt for a Christmas cake and recorded over my only taped copy to this day I can't decide which was the worst crime. Please Victor any chance of a copy to replace it?
Sir Henry at Rawlinson End
(1980)
Archetypal English retired General seeks destruction of ghost and supporting the traditional values of the landed gentry
3 March 2006
Sir Henry, a bigot, unfit father, drunkard, thug, commandant of his personal prisoner of war camp 40 years post world war two, one of Trevor Howards best parts and reminiscent of his part as Lord Cardigan in Charge of the Light Brigade. The rest of the cast is excellent although not 'Big' names. Viv Stanshell directs and appears as Sir Henry;s younger brother, coincidentally Viv died on the same day of the year as the real Sir Henry Rawlinson. Explaining the stream of consciousness that makes up this film is difficult to explain to the uninitiated but Rawlinsons End is haunted by the ghost of Sir Henrys brother, enter erstwhile exorcist the Rev Slodden and cockney wideboy partner hoping to benefit financially. At the same time a family gathering for a drunken Viking orgy of violence. This film needs the understanding of the English class system and 1500 years of oppression to fully appreciate so I would not expect much of an American audience to truly understand the finer graining but give it a try and have a limey friend on hand to explain. However still the funniest film you are likely to see. Favourite Line. "Silence, if I want your opinion I'll thrash it out of you!" Stanshall himself was a product of an authoritarian upbringing his father being an RAF officer, Sir Henry is what he is a bigot and a stone cold killer the sort of person that made and ran the English empire and we need these examples to remind us of what has gone before and what can change, if you really have difficulty in understanding the concept of irony just cuddle up with your friends DVD boxset. BACK OUT ON DVD, POUNCE NOW BEFORE THEY GO!
Cyrano de Bergerac
(1990)
The ultimate romantic hero
3 March 2006
This is the sort of hero that most men would aspire to being, poet, warrior, Noble soul, protector. In fact this film has to be a blue print for the masculine soul, the non Merci! speech has to be one of the high points, the little man with the power and the good sense not to abuse it. The film has its roots firmly embedded in the European tradition of chivalry and we can not without the benefit of hindsight Roxanne was always unobtainable to Cyrano because of his own perceived deformity. Cyrano was similarly trapped by his own position in society, especially as he was acting in Loco Parentis. This is an incredibly sad film about missed opportunities and wasted lives . Cyrano is a man out of time living up to ideals that no one can be expected to maintain in todays society and perhaps even at the time. This is also a film with compassion and standards that men secretly want to live up to.
No Surrender
(1985)
Mid 1980's an unemployed man takes over the running of a rundown nightclub on New Years Eve.
2 March 2006
Liverpool mid 1980's New Years Eve an unemployed man finds work managing a run down night club only to find that the local Orange lodge OAP's and Catholic Society old folks have been booked in on the same night. Mix in the worst night club acts ever seen, local gangsters, ageing terrorists and a wickedly dark humour. Hopefully this should be released on DVD soon? Bernard Hill is as usual a real star and has an appearance by Joanne Whalley in one of her first roles. Michael Angelis is excellent and the film is a real joy especially in its use of a dry humour that all visitors to Liverpool will recognise. This is a real slice of social commentary and show cases several cameo appearances including Elvis Costello as a 'walking nervous breakdown' / magician. I have since traced a copy of No Surrender after three years of searching and converted it to DVD as a back up copy. I had forgotten how wonderful the humour was I shall upgrade my ranking just on the strength of this. This film has atmosphere a real taste of my early adult life in early 80's Britain showing it was not all big hair do's and mobile phones the size of bricks.
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