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Reviews
Without a Paddle (2004)
Not remotely funny.
Three remarkably unwatchable men being dislikable in the woods.
Snakes on a Plane (2006)
This film's cult status highlights just how low people's standards are.
This film is a bunch of actors at the very lowest point in their careers.
The Mandalorian: Chapter 1: The Mandalorian (2019)
I loved everything about this episode.
I'd heard good things and was quite buzzed before I watched the first episode; oh sweet lord it didn't disappoint.
I was plunged, head first into a Star Wars universe that I fell in love with as a child. I found myself gleefully wondering where exactly this fits into the narrative timeline, and hat species Yoda was and how they have managed to effortlessly crowbar the best TV Western since Deadwood into a 'galaxy far, far away'.
Brilliant.
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
1 hour and 54 very forgettable minutes.
Watching this film is a waste of life. I strongly recommend you watch something else.
Holmes & Watson (2018)
After this film, my Fiancée looked at me and said "I didn't know a film could be so bad".
I'll begin at the end; upon leaving the screening of this movie, I was reduced to one word, "Wow". I was genuinely staggered by the fact that such a floating turd of a film had somehow managed to hustle itself a cinematic release.
Until December 27th, 2018 I was of the opinion that I would watch Jon C Reilly in absolutely anything, "Holmes & Watson" proved me wrong.
Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon, Rebecca Hall, Pam Ferris, Ralph Feinnes, Hugh Laurie and Kelly Macdonald will all have to wake up every day for the rest of their lives, knowing that they had a hand on this film, the stink of which must cling to them like metaphorical sh#t to a blanket.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle received a writing credit for this film. I just checked; he doesn't have any living descendants who could try to have this black mark expunged from his career.