The worst films ever made

Unquestionably the worst film ever made. Another film that is morally bankrupt, and whose fanbase is even more alarming than Sin City's. Yes, despite how bad this film is, this film has a cult fanbase who will tell you that this movie is a smart critique on the media for glamorizing violence which has a lot of depth to it. What it is however, is a hypocritical movie whereby it criticizes the media for their glamorization of violence, and the movie in turn is very violent itself and expects to sympathize with two mass murderers who kill and kidnap many including cops, which includes a lot of pretentious bilge on the side, rather than depth. Sure, it has a Terry Gilliam-esque look to it, but it feels like I'm on an acid trip and it gets quite annoying after a while. Then you realize that the style and violence is there to distract from the movie's other MAJOR faults. Much of the dialogue is Tarantino-esque dribble, a lot of the supporting cast are really annoying (especially Robert Downey Jr. and Tommy Lee Jones who both act like cartoon characters) there is a lack of plot for most of the movie, and by the time it finally arrives, it's too little too late. Worse still however is the film's politics. Not only does it expect us to like a pair of serial killers but it also makes that lifestyle seem appealing, as not only does it expect you to sympathize with them, but it shows that you will get a lot of fans, and there won't be ANY consequences to your actions. Sure they go to prison and are put on death row, but are eventually freed. It doesn't help that ALL of the cop characters in this film are morally bankrupt, as they are either perverts, sadistic or are wanting to cover things up. This is the kind of movie with an anarcho communist attitude that even Noam Chomsky would frown at. Because of this, the movie could potentially have seriously poisonous influences over it's viewers, even more so than Sin City, and it's not surprising that this movie has already been linked to many real life crimes. I understand that this sort of thing may have been rebellious in the 90's to the Generation X crowd, but it's not the 90's anymore, and I would have hoped that this would have been re-evaluated for the stinker that it is, as seen from grown-up eyes. Alas, it is not the case. This movie not only still has a huge following, but has also caused real life tragedies to happen as well as many people's perception that the law is corrupt. Thanks, Natural Born Killers, and now go back to the fiery depths of hell where you belong.

The worst comedy ever made. For a comedy, it's not funny and even worse is that you have to put up with the most annoying characters in cinema. There is nothing likable about them. They are rude to their parents, they sleep with women against their permission and film their parents having sex. I understand that they are satirical characters, but you will still detest them anyway. And this satire of teenagers is undermined even further by the script which seems to be written for teenagers in mind (which considering how bad the gags are seems insulting), with boner gags (Kevin manages to stop a bank robbery with a boner), gross-out gags (a spot popping scene that feels like it should belong in an American Pie straight to DVD sequel) and lots of terrible toilet humor. To say it's crass would be the understatement of the year. It doesn't help that there is barely any plot to speak of, and feels more like a string of sketches that weren't aired because they weren't funny. It also looks rubbish and ugly. Many of the supporting characters are underdeveloped (eg the parents, the girlfriends) and feel like they're here to extend the length. The one redeeming factor in this is Rhys Ifans, who is the most sympathetic character: an evil DJ who bullying Kevin and Perry and abuses their dumbness and let me tell you, he is the closet this movie ever gets to a sympathetic character, as he hurts Kevin and Perry to the point of their friendship being crushed (a plot thread that goes nowhere by the way) and they deserve to be treated meanly. Sadly he does barely anything during the film, so he had no purpose either, and that's pretty sad, because he was the only thing in this movie that helped me to make it to the end. It is utter garbage from beginning to end. It is the worst TV adaptation ever made, it is the worst comedy ever made and it is one of the worst movies ever made. Don't bother.

Poor M. Night Shyamalan. Once such a brilliant writer who gave us classics like Unbreakable has now fallen on hard times constantly making garbage that drags his once great name through the mud. But this is the worst out of all of them. Pretentious dialogue (casein point a scene where people discuss why they sit on porches), a silly plot, and characters who change personality halfway through just to keep the story going (mainly in Adrian Brody's character) would be bad enough but then we get to the ending. It is literally the worst ending ever put to film. I won't spoil it, but needless to say, it will make you want to rip the hairs right off your head and throw something at the screen in anger. Roger Ebert put it best when he said "To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore." It is a true stinker, whose ending manages to change a bad film to a downright abysmal one. Amazing.

I don't understand the love for this film. Boring characters, boring stories (despite having a Pulp Fiction style narrative) and plot holes and contrivances would be bad enough, but Sin City is also a morally bankrupt film. It suggests that we should go around killing people and this movie has the most disgusting attitude towards women and religion, with the former being sexualised as all of the female characters are prostitutes, and the latter being all morally bankrupt characters who pull the strings of politicians. Did I miss something? When was it OK to have stereotypes like this, especially considering how critical both groups can be of certain films makes this all the more baffling how no-one seemed to mind this. I wouldn't mind this if this was a dumb, cheesy action movie that was self-aware about how stupid it was, but this isn't the case. Sin City takes itself completely seriously without a hint of irony, and because of this not only is tonally confused (as it tries to mesh complex, serious film noir with silly, over the top action and video nasty violence and fails miserably), but it's a slightly worrying film, considering how it's poisonous views could influence those who watch this. I'm usually against the idea that fiction inspires real-life crime, because I believe that people should express their art as they wish, but this is a case where those naysayers may have a point. It is a stupid, vacuous and (worst of all) evil movie that should be avoided at all costs, and that Frank Miller is still allowed to continue writing stories with those poisonous tentacles of his despite this movie and his other hideous works (All-Star Batman and Robin, Holy Terror) is something that makes me truly sick to my stomach.

The second part of the worst double bill in history. Despite not being too dreadful for most of the running time, like The Village, this thing is ruined by it's ending, which makes the whole series seem pointless. Not only is it very anticlimactic, but it is also very lazy and a HUGE middle finger to those who kept going with this series, despite how awful it became at some points (I'm looking at you New Moon and Breaking Dawn Part 1). It doesn't help that the original ending was different, which makes this ending feel even more like a cheap and nasty trick played on not only this series' haters but to it's loyal fans as well. Sure, it does have other problems to. Poor acting, writing and action, but I was enjoying it happily in an ironic way up until that point. Thanks for wasting so much of my time, Twilight. Goodbye and good riddance.

The worst video game movie I have ever seen. It's predecessor was bad enough but the sequel manages to outdo it's predecessor so much that it makes the first terrible Resident Evil film look like Citizen Kane by comparison. It's a terrible story filled with so many plot holes that Nemesis could go through them with the Hulk on a piggyback ride (ie how a bunch of armed police can’t hold off an army of the dead, but a bunch of unarmed people can or how do the zombies escape their lab prison in the first place or my personal favourite, how a guy is looking for his daughter but yet has technology that can find her rather quickly). It also feels VERY derivative of Aliens and Predator (not surprising considering how Paul W S Anderson, the writer is a fan of both) and has terrible comedy relief. Sure it has better action and CGI, but that doesn't excuse the fact that Nemesis (one of RE's best bad guys) is now a good guy. That is the biggest slap to Resi fans, since well the first movie ditching all of the game's characters in order for Paul to give his wife a part. A terrible film in all sense of the word, and a spit in the face of a great game.