Revenge on David Hasselhoff!
25 July 2002
Bizarre doesn't begin to describe this hellaciously bad movie. A curio of it's time, today the film offers almost no entertainment value except as a method of torture to future international celebrity Hasselhoff. Plot, such as it is, concerns a gang of sleazy cheerleaders trying to interfere with school business. This film does not take place in any world that viewers will be familiar with. Aside from the expected older actors playing teens, the story and script are so completely unbelievable that this is nothing more than a reason to show some crude drug jokes and display some supple young flesh. For these reasons alone it will appeal to certain "midnight movie" fans. Cheap is the word that comes to mind in every aspect of the movie. A hefty, blonde-wigged nurse (portrayed by an actress who's had a few bit parts in legitimate films) tries to inject some campy laughs into the mess, but fails. This atrocity was unearthed from certain obscurity when supporting player Hasselhoff hit it big on "Night Rider" and "Baywatch". And why? Because midway through the film, his character is shown in a group shower and for a few frames David, jr. makes an appearance. This is not going to turn many people on since the Hasselhoff from this film is light years away from the tan, built TV star they are all familiar with now. Still, it is amazing to note that in 1970's drive-in-style comedies, female AND male nudity was trotted out in surprisingly large doses while now the human body is all but shut away while viewers are asked to watch explosions, gunplay, knives plunging into people and other malicious acts. Sex, however, is considered taboo! (Which is why a movie like "American Pie" can come along and break records....it returns to a sort of innocent piece of sexual trash like this movie was in it's day...although "Revenge..." is definitely way down on the totem pole!) Another striking thing is the bodies themselves. People weren't as bent on physical perfection and surgically enhanced looks. The girls are naturally presented (one even has hilarious tan lines!) and the guys are just lean, pale "dudes". The movie has curiosity value, but only a VERY patient person will make it through the whole thing unless they were alive during that time. Bad....
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