1/10
A deeply horrendous film
9 September 2001
I have scarcely, if *ever*, been so disappointed with a film as I was with this. My expectations were hardly particularly high going into the viewing... I certainly did expect more from a film involving Peter Cook, based around the enjoyable Holmesian mythos.

To begin with, the direction was appallingly unsuitable. Paul Morrissey evidently had all the wrong ideas about how to film a comedy and how to illicit comedic performances; he is following the Carry On formula, but this film considerably outstrips the majority of those in terms of the cringe-worthy. Morrissey merely 'directs' an astonishingly experienced and talented cast to go horribly - and I mean horribly - Over The Top, shout a lot, and mixes this with pointless, inapposite crudity. The veteran comic talents of Max Wall - barely in the film, much to his overwhelming relief I suspect - Joan Greenwood, Cook, Moore and Spike Milligan are frittered away carelessly, and allowed to dissolve in an acrid bath of self-abuse. The ageing Greenwood is given an appallingly crass role and embarrassing 'things to do'; Terry-Thomas, clearly an ill man by all accounts at this time, looks completely out of it: a saddening sight. Is Kenneth Williams another to be added to this unfortunate role-call of British comedy greats forcibly desecrated...? Well yes, his performance is every bit the unsubtle, irritating stereotype that many expect of him, including it seems, Paul Morrissey. Such a waste considering the ill-tapped talent the man clearly had; it is hardly surprising to read his increasing despondency about this project in his diaries.

Apparently, Pete n' Dud had a hand in the script-writing, but it really doesn't show; this is committee stuff to the letter, including 'topical' take-offs of "The Exorcist" (1973) as well as the spirit-crushingly inept attempts to 'emulate' the Carry Ons. There are, at best, perhaps one or two middling gags of theirs that surface, but they seem hopelessly out of kilter with the film's remainder. Cook is an aloof, stony-but-insubstantial presence as an 'actor' in this 'picture', Morrissey allowing him no scope for his usual absurdism, shoehorning him into a cardboard nonentity of a role - though surely he himself is culpable, if scripting? Moore is worse, faring poorly as an inept, 'Welsh' Holmes; never once amusing.

This truly is a dire, unspeakable film. The production side of matters is, if anything, as shabby as the rest of the picture; a slipshod shoddiness makes the visuals outright repellent. Strikingly, there is no attempt to truly parody or spoof the Sherlock Holmes mythos; it makes even mediocre films like "The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes's Smarter Brother" (1975) or "The Seven Per Cent Solution" (1976) seem like satiric masterworks in comparison. All this ends up doing is lamentably degrading the Holmes mythos it claims association with.

I hated this film intensely - as I am sure you gathered - and can say with the utmost confidence that it symbolises the utter fall from grace of a tradition of British (film) comedy.
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