Attention horror filmmakers, industry moguls, and anyone who gets paid to scare the hell out of people: In 1976, Jay Anson penned one of the most frightening and fascinating accounts of demonic persecution ever written. Despite the fact that the whole thing had been cooked up by a self-employed Long Island surveyor desperately short on monetary resources, the book version of The Amityville Horror still has the power to chill due to the documentary-style approach that makes its hooded demons and red-eyed ghost pigs seem frighteningly plausible. Unfortunately, the 1979 movie version sodomizes the whole point of the book and instead focuses mostly on the deterioration of George Lutz's mental state and Father Delaney's health. One insider at the time claimed that the 117-minute running time was too short to show all the events in the house. Well, good God, it doesn't take a Steven Spielberg to figure out that 117 minutes is more than enough time if they just took out the puking nun, 95% of Rod Steiger's scenes of him screaming profanity at his monsignor and being blinded by a falling piece of church statuary, as well as that cliched sequence with Brolin climbing up the stairs with an axe and coming close to using it on his wife. If they had axed those scenes there would have been time to stage that spooky dream sequence from the book in which the hooded demon has the face of George with his face torn in two, as well as the scene in which the same entity burns its image into the fireplace, in addition to the levitations. Not to mention the final night scene which was one of the most unnerving sections of the book and alone could have made this movie kick some major butt. Instead because of all the unnecessary decorations die-hard fans of the Anson book are left with two corny fly scenes, some glowing eyes,and a brief shot of a ghost pig in the window. And I know darn well that something pretty creepy was excised from that scene where the family is fleeing down the oozing staircase. Kidder throws open the door to the second flight of stairs and her and the kids scream but the viewer sees nothing. They get downstairs by the door and from Kidder pointing frantically to the stairs it's pretty obvious there's something nasty up there. I'll bet in some landfill in Hollywood there is a few feet of film of a pig ghost lifting Amy off her feet and trying to kill her or something. But does the viewer get to see anything like this? Hell no, because this film harkens back to the stone age of horror films when the Hays Office wouldn't let Frankenstein chuck the little girl into the lake in its obvious insistence that anyone who has read the book and not gone mad from the nightmares should still be coddled to like some halfwit who doesn't know the vomit coming out of Regan's mouth from babys***! But we are not living in such puritanical times anymore. This is the age in which Amityville can be redone in a way that will scare the pants off of even the most hard-core skeptics So this is an appeal to all horror filmmakers, especially the indies looking for a quick buck. If you want to make a NUMBINGLY SPOOKY movie that will gross in the millions and put your name right up there with John Carpenter and James Whale: REMAKE THE AMITYVILLE HORROR AND MAKE IT A MORE FAITHFUL ADAPTATION OF ONE OF THE SCARIEST BOOKS OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY!!!!!!!
P.S. One of these fine days, I have a mind to get permission from the Anson estate to write a screenplay based on the book and put that on the market.
P.S. One of these fine days, I have a mind to get permission from the Anson estate to write a screenplay based on the book and put that on the market.