A nice little independent film from Texas? Not even close. Some guy named Terry Lofton wrote the story, screenplay, also directed and even had a bit part in his little movie, about an embittered construction worker who goes around with the title weapon, blasting people who raped a woman in opening moments of the film. The killings should provide you with the best laughs of your life. The gun makes some sort of machine gun noise, and we always see the nails AFTER they have entered the victim's body, never flying thru the air and then hitting them. One dude takes one in the privates, a couple girls get them in the boobs and at one point, two girls, who appear to be walking on a country road in an abondoned area somewhere in another city, show up for the purpose of being pierced. If this was a major motion picture, it might be called a revenge melodrama, but it is in fact a super low budget slasher pic. It contains everything a bottom of the barrell film should: shoddy effects, bad (oops, horrible) acting, awful lighting and an ultra annoying music score that sounds like a keyboard chuckling. But the one saving grace, the killer is hilarious! He's a Freddy Krueger type, cackling wisecracks before doing in his victims. He also doesn't wear the usual psycho garb, as he's decked out in camoflauge and dark helmet, with an oxygen tank in back. Check it out for that sole reason. Be warned though, that the film moves incredibly, agonizingly slow when he's not on screen. When there aren't people getting nailed, we get talky, yawn-a-minute exchanges between cast members. So long, that you'll be glad when they get gunned down. Another problem would be obtaining the film itself, it's a pretty rare find. I bumped into it at a Blockbuster in a little San Diego suburb called Rancho Penasquitos and have yet to come across it again. With all the films' flaws the worst one is that awful acting. It's as if this Lofton guy went around asking his friends "hey, wanna be in my movie??" Even the nude babes are annoying, the first girl with the whitest breasts ever seen, the last girl being VERY impressive. I'd expect a number of sequels if this were a big budget pic, but 15 years later, there has been no follow up to the self proclaimed "penetrating love story".
Review of The Nail Gun Massacre
