Iron Eagle II (1988)
1/10
You murderers! ONE BIG SPOILER!
10 October 2002
Warning: Spoilers
Throughout my teens I looked to the character of Doug Masters as a kind of big brother that I never had. He was cool, a hit with the ladies and had pretty much single-handedly wiped out a small Middle Eastern country in the film Iron Eagle. Like many teenage boys in the 80's I wanted to wipe out a Middle Eastern country of my own, but was never given the opportunity, so when I heard that there was going to be an Iron Eagle 2 I was very excited.

Now, bearing in mind that Doug had shot down dozens of evil, nasty non-American pilots in the first film, and that was without any training, he would now be an even better pilot, since he'd joined the US air force. But who could stand in Doug's way now? Surely this young pilot could single-handedly wage war on pretty much any country he wanted. Libya, Iraq, Columbia, Canada, no one could stop him.

However in the first two minutes of the film he was shot down and killed.

The rest of the film is a kind of blur to me now as I was in a state of shock and going through the early stages of post-traumatic stress disorder. I had just witnessed my elder brother (I know, I know I am seeing a therapist) getting killed by a Russian pilot! What made it all the more worse was that he'd not even put up much of a fight. Through the shock my mind started ticking over and analysing the situation.

`If Doug was capable of obliterating a country the size of Wales or the State of Washington and he'd just been shot down by some naughty communist, then surely a single Soviet pilot could wipe out the entire USA!'

I'm sorry, but I don't think that's very realistic. I've seen Red Dawn, so I know how easy Russians are to kill and this film failed to realise that But to make matters worse, the Americans then team up with the Russians to attack a small Middle Eastern country together! Hang on a minute! Doug could have done that by himself!

Don't watch this film. It killed the big brother I never had.
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