Murder Weapon (1989)
a winner from the squatpump crew
18 August 2003
the most interesting thing about this awful piece of trash is that there are three people in the credits with the last name "Squatpump". taking into consideration that "Betty Flinstone" and "Wilma Rubble" are also listed, i looked on the trusty imdb to see if these "Squatpumps" were real, and it does indeed seem that yolanda (the matriarch of the clan?) has a few more credits under her belt, including "The Usual Suspects", and may therefore actually exist. but back to the film: the wordless, pointless 10-minute intro actually made me wonder if the filmmakers couldn't afford sound equipment. the next scene, an agonizingly long dialogue scene between linnea quigley and her shrink, proved that yes, they did have sound equipment, but that they had apparently lost their sets, as the scene apparently takes place in a black hole.

so i actually continued watching this crap. and about an hour later i was treated to a downright hilarious sledgehammer-(mannequin)-head-beating and an even better shotgun-to-the-(mannequin)-head death. ultimately one of the frizzy-haired psycho girls killed everybody, apparently. i don't know. i actually was more entertained picturing david decoteau, who directed under the odd alias "Ellen Cabot", showing up to the set every day in a smart grey skirt suit and sensible shoes (as, in my mind, someone named Ellen Cabot would).
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