The Johnsons (1992)
The difference between horror and horrible
5 January 2003
As a huge fan of b-movies, horror and especially non-Hollywood horror, this movie shocked with just how badly a movie can be acted. I feel confident that the people who did the english dub had never actually witnessed human beings speaking to each other. This is the way space aliens might imagine dialog if they found a script. Seriously, compared to this your sister's second-grade Xmas play was Oscar-worthy.

Also several really stupid plot techniques were used. The main characters father would be the stupidest of all, with a performance that has to be seen to be disbelieved. I spent the better part of the movie hoping his son would bash him on the noggin with something evil.

Again, I have serious suspicions that this movie isn't really Dutch, but from another planet. The sad thing is it really quite an original storyline and could have been a great flick. There were several sequences that were downright chilling, but not enough to make up for the chicken suit.
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