Ghostwriter (1992–1995)
One of the most important shows of our time
24 July 2002
Hey, remember GhostWriter, that show with the little thumb print thing that floated around and solved mysteries with these five or six "hip" kids back in the early nineties (you can tell that the kids are "hip" because they wore their neon orange hats to one side and listened to non-threatening rap music)? Yeah, umm...you remember that?

So anyway, that show was awesome. They'd be all "oh no, some kids joined a "gang" and are participating in the use of NARCOTICS like MARIJUANA!!" and then the thumb print would spell out something like "Only you can prevent forest fires" or whatever the hell it was that he spelled. What was that thing's purpose anyway? "He can't see, and he can't talk, but he can read anything" was the description. Aside from the fact that it doesn't make sense if he can't see but can read, I have the ability to do all three... and so did all of the other kids for that matter (except for Hector, who was a dumbass. We'll get to that later). So what makes GhostWriter such a great partner? Hey, now that I think about it, the show wasn't awesome at all. It was terrible.

But what I must commend the show for would be the opening theme music, where they also established the plot. They would have like a line of poorly-edited "made to sound like a record is being scratched", then a line of talking. I liked that part.

"Guh-guh-guh-guh...GhostWriter! w-w-w-w-woooooord"

"He's this thumb print smudge that we couldn't get off the film, so we made it into a character"

"w-w-w-wooord...."

Yeah, and remember Grandma Jenkins, Jamal's grandmother? Man, she always knew what to say! ...And wait a minute, that's the same woman that claims to be NFL superstar Donovan McNabb's "mother" in those chunky soup ads! You know, where he's doing a commercial and she barges in and feeds him and the director gets p***ed and then she sprays him with the shaving cream? Yeah, that's her! What a scam.

So anyway, I remember how Grandma Jenkins was always helping them solve mysteries and stuff by bringing Jamal some Chunky Soup at the most inappropriate times,and he'd be all "moooom!" (even though she was his grandma, go figure.) and she'd be like "Chunky souuuuuup!" and the director goes "momma, you can fill him up right after I film him up right!" and then she assaults him with the shaving cream. Hilarious! And then she'd be the principal of that school with those kids on that awful TV show. (no, not GhostWriter, ja ja ja...). I can't remember the name now. it's on NBC if you wake up early on Saturday. Eh, screw it.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I liked GhostWriter as a kid, because the kids were so real. So down-to-earth. You know how they say Sex & The City is how women really talk? Well it's the same thing with GhostWriter: That's how women really talk...or something. They'd be all "Reading is fun! I always carry my library card" and I'd be all "oh man, it's like they're projecting my life onto the TV screen!" Amazing, really.

Oh oh, remember the character of Gaby? She was this Hispanic girl for a while, and then she suddenly turned fat and not Hispanic, but the rest of her family stayed the same ethnicity. That was weird. Just one day, she's there and they're all "Buenos dias, Gaby" and she's all "hi" (because you know that she can't speak Spanish) and then she made her way over to the food.

And what about Hector? Can't forget about him. I remember this one part of dialogue from the show where Hector got a letter and (this part of my essay I am actually not making up) it went like this:

LETTER: (written on paper) "you cannot see me with your eyes, but can you find out my disguise?"

HECTOR: (trying to sound out 'disguise') "Dis-Kweez? Man, this guy writes some weird letters"

JAMAL: "Hahah. What a dumb f***!" ...And then GhostWriter wrote something or solved a mystery.

(note- I'm sorry. I forgot how the rest of that dialogue went, so I started making things up, thereby breaking my promise, not that you care.)

Oh, and remember how they would always try to incorporate Lenni singing in all the episodes, but she sucked? Why did they keep doing it? I could see the producers the first couple of times like "She sucks" "...yup." but after a while they should have told her stupid parents to stop hanging around the set and forcing her to sing & tap dance all the time. Honestly.

So, in conclusion, this didn't have a point. So there is no conclusion.
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